


Jess, After the Wins and Losses: Part One -- The Drift

by blessedharlot



Series: Kinktober 2019 [2]
Category: The Great Library Series - Rachel Caine
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anonymous Sex, Being Spit On, Biting, Blanket Permission, Blindfolds, Bodily Fluids, Bondage, Bondage Furniture, Bondage Hood, Breast Play, Brief Trauma Response, Bugs & Insects, Choking, Collars, Comfort, Consensual Non-Consent, Crying, Cuckolding, Cunnilingus, Degradation, Dildos, Dirty Talk, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Erotic Mesmerism, F/F, F/M, Face Slapping, Face-Fucking, Fear Play, Fellatio, Flogging, Fucking Machines, Gags, Gangbang, Genital Biting, Grief/Mourning, Group Discussion of Sex, Group Sex, Hair-pulling, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Human Furniture, Humiliation, Impact Play, M/M, Masturbation, Nipple Clamps, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, O-ring gag, Oral Sex, Other, Over the Knee, Overstimulation, Oviposition, Ovipositor Toy, PIV Sex, Pain, Pegging, Post-Series, Post-Sword and Pen, Power Exchange, Predator/Prey, Predicament Bondage, Pseudo-Incest, Public Nudity, Public Sex, Rape Fantasy, Rope Bondage, Sadism, Sensation Play, Sexual Trauma, Shower Sex, Smoking, Spanking, Stranger Sex, Surprise Sex, Sword and Pen Spoilers, Threesome - F/M/M, Tribadism, Tribbing, Verbal Humiliation, Voyeurism, rough fellatio, sex wager, sex with a disability, wooden dildo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2020-10-14 08:09:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 50,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20597513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blessedharlot/pseuds/blessedharlot
Summary: After the events of Sword and Pen, Jess works to build a brand new life for himself.First step: a slut phase.Chapter 1: VoyeurismChapter 2: CunnilingusChapter 3: ForniphiliaChapter 4: OvipositionChapter 5: ToysChapter 6: LingerieChapter 7: PeggingChapter 8: Fucking machineChapter 9: HairpullingChapter 10: ShotgunningChapter 11: MasturbationChapter 12: SwallowingChapter 13: CryingChapter 14: ThreesomeChapter 15: AnalChapter 16: Shower SexChapter 17: SmilesChapter 18: Distracted SexChapter 19: OverstimulationCHAPTER 20: DEGRADATION





	1. Voyeurism (Prompt #2)

**Author's Note:**

> Some Kinktober 2019 prompts map a throughline for Jess. Most happen in chronological order, beginning about a month after the Coliseum battle. Some isolated chapters leap ahead in time; the flashforward chapters will be clearly marked.
> 
> Each chapter will have its unique tags in a note at the beginning.
> 
> (Anit is occasionally involved, and at this point in the series she would be 15-ish. However, "underage" isn’t in play here as a dynamic, and for the purposes of this story, I’ve waved a magic wand and she’s 17-18, around Jess’ age.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter include: Voyeurism, Tribadism, Tribbing, Cunnilingus, Masturbation, post-Sword and Pen, post-series, low-key adopted incest-ish, Sword and Pen Spoilers.

“Right, but we need more space than that,” Anit argued. She waved off minor security and walked Jess further into the tiny building. 

Jess looked around, wondering where they were. It was the most modest house he’d seen yet of Anit’s empire. 

“Jess, we want to move _ volume _, and quickly,” Anit said.

“The two-story has plenty of room, for display and backstock,” Jess replied. “But it’s still got a great cozy feel to it. And, the two-story is right there where we’ll get Scholar traffic.”

“Scholars are assholes,” Anit grumbled. “Most of them are going to be too good for us, at least for a while. We should be further toward the tourism circuits.”

As they reached a small private room in the back, Anit threw off her shawl and kept talking. 

“And besides, the Scholars who are most interested in the phony risks and cheap thrills of owning legal books before their colleagues do will follow us anywhere in town. We’ve got to snag civilian families first.”

“We don’t have the children’s books cracked yet,” Jess said. “Thomas and I are still working on the ink. That will be the real family draw. Don’t you think?”

Jess took a look around the room where they stopped. It was small and sparse, but friendly. There were very few decorations, but a cozy rug was on the floor, and warm lights shone over chairs and a couch that looked comfortable for lounging and reading. And there were two bookcases about as tall as Jess, full of books. Most were originals.

There was a small alcove in one corner with two doors, besides the one they’d used. It sounded like water was running behind one of them. 

“We should stock novels,” Anit continued. “From all over the world. The more scandalous the better. Translated into Greek, mostly, but also in their native tongues. In smaller amounts, of course. We should decide what percentage of Greek to keep on hand.”

“Hmmm,” Jess mused. He headed for the books while he thought, curious about the collection. Amidst novels and histories, there were several books of poetry from around the world, and commentaries on them. Also quite a few plays, and commentaries on them as well.

“Wait here,” Anit said abruptly, disappearing through one door. “I’ll be right back.”

An instant later, the other door opened, and Jess noticed that the water had stopped.

And now Katja stood there. 

To Jess’ conflicted delight, she appeared to have just gotten out of a shower. Her narrow mop of blond hair still stuck wet to her skull, and the fit of the blue silk robe she wore suggested that what was underneath was damp, bare skin.

Jess smiled, but made an attempt not to look like he wanted to eat her, just as a change of pace. He doubted Anit’s lieutenant still had any interest in bagging him anyway. It had been just the one offer she’d made weeks ago now, and he hadn’t responded well at the time. She probably wanted to forget the whole thing.

He didn’t want to forget it. He was very aware of that. But he also didn’t think he’d be lucky enough to get a second chance with her.

“Hi,” Jess said.

Katja rolled her eyes.

_ Hi, Jess? Really? So much for being smoother this time. _

“Who stocked this collection?” Jess asked, just as Anit returned. She now wore a purple silk robe. She also appeared to have nothing on underneath. 

“Why?” Katja growled.

Jess worked to hide his astonishment, shrugged and smiled at the books. “I like it.”

“That pile of crap?” Katja said, wrinkling her nose as she sat on the couch. “Just a bunch of common stuff.”

“Only some of it’s common,” Jess frowned. “And it’s all excellent quality printing. Even the new pressed books... Anit, we should use this publisher.”

Jess ran his fingertips down a row of books in admiration. He took out one volume of translated Chinese love poems.

“More than that,” he continued, earnestly wanting to compliment the intriguing selection. “The thematic choices… they’re…”

"They’re what?" Anit asked.

"... they’re passionate,” he said. “Subtle. Thoughtful."

Anit smiled at him. 

“It’s Katja’s collection,” she said. “It’s her house.”

Jess looked to Katja, surprised. 

Katja shrugged. "That's me. Subtle and thoughtful."

"And passionate," Anit smiled and leaned into her.

And before Jess' eyebrows had lowered back down from learning Katja's personal library preferences, he watched as Anit and Katja began a long, wet, deeply arousing kiss.

He was still staring at them when they slowly pulled their mouths apart. Jess looked from Anit to Katja, and back again.

“Oh, he’s clever,” Katja said with exaggerated awe.

"Sorry," Jess said, shaking himself out of his surprise. "I… wasn't expecting that."

Anit folded her legs up underneath her as she sat on the couch.

"Did you have any plans this evening, Jess?" she asked.

"Not really." Jess shook his head, realizing only as he did so that Anit's question wasn't just a query, but was probably an invitation too.

"Well," Katja said impatiently. "We did, so..."

She started to gesture toward the door, but Anit grabbed her hand and stopped.

"Katja, be nice. It’s Jess."

Katja sighed again, and looked to Anit with a hint of indulgence.

"He can watch if he wants to," Anit continued, as she looked at Jess and smiled.

Jess’ breath quickened and his cock stirred, as he looked back and forth at both of them again. He felt entirely out of his element, and rather aroused by that.

He couldn’t quite move his feet. But he managed a reach toward a nearby chair, and that was enough for Anit to take Katja’s face in her hands and press her into an open-mouthed kiss.

Jess got himself into a chair, and only then realized he still had love poems in his hand. He pulled his attention away from the book and set it carefully on a small table next to him.

The petting happening on the couch was slowly opening Anit’s robe... the purple slipping down the side of her now reclined body, an inch at a time. She was lithe, angular copper, from head to toe… as elegant as any statue he’d seen.

He wondered offhand how much she might resemble Khalila.

Just then, Katja pulled back to recline on her folded legs and admire Anit’s bare body. Without a glance at Jess, she took off her own robe.

Katja had a sumptuous, imposing feel about her, that didn’t just come from her considerable height. She was fashioned of fierce, swollen musculature, some prominent and some only flashing under soft contours as she moved to mount Anit again. 

It would be easy for Jess to compare Katja to Glain. But Katja was somehow both softer and more threatening. She could successfully pin Jess down with her arms alone, he didn’t doubt, unless he wanted to be crafty and careful. Her thighs were luscious, and Jess idly wondered what it would feel like to sink his teeth into them, or be crushed between them. And her swaying breasts, Jess thought. He suddenly had a list of things he wanted to do with those.

Naked Katja climbed on top of naked Anit, and Jess had to quickly readjust his trousers. The image of their bare skin brushing - Katja lowering herself down to tease the edge of pinning Anit - made Jess dizzy.

The two of them quickly moved from brushing and caressing to kneading and grinding. Jess gave in then, and started unfastening his trousers just enough to fit his hand inside. He began stroking himself under the fabric right as Katja began thrusting her hips into Anit, with the same motion he might use to penetrate. She was fucking Anit like she had a cock, and Anit writhed with pleasure.

_ So the friction alone is that enjoyable, then? For some with vulvas? Must remember that. _

Every time Anit looked his way, she smiled. Blushed. Folded her chin back under Katja. She enjoyed him watching… perhaps enjoyed the embarrassment, Jess thought.

Katja also looked his way, occasionally, an iron look in her eye. She looked at him just before she bit softly into Anit's tit and elicited a squeal. She looked at Jess again right as she picked up her thrusting to a rough, arduous pace. 

When she wrapped her hand in Anit's hair and tugged just a little, just until Anit's breath caught, Katja stared him down. 

Jess wondered what it would be like to let Katja do whatever she wanted to do with his hair. Or any part of him, come to think of it. And then to give back as good as he got.

Katja stopped suddenly, murmuring with Anit. And then she pulled back onto her knees again.

Anit was repositioning herself too.

Jess held his cock still, and held his breath, heartbeat thunderous in his ears as he wondered what they’d do next.

Then Katja slipped down to get her face closer to the couch - closer to Anit’s spread legs - and got herself comfortable.

Jess pulled his hand out of his pants so he could lean forward. He wanted - no, he needed - to see every move. Every lick. Everything Katja did.

He watched intently, elbows on his knees, as Katja brought her face close to Anit’s folds and exhaled a warm breath across them. Anit squirmed in delight. 

Katja licked her lips and nearly leaned in to work, but instead swiveled her head around and noticed Jess. 

She stared back at his gaping.

"Are you... taking notes?" she said incredulously.

Jess opened his mouth and closed it again quickly. This probably wasn't the sexiest look for him, just at the moment. But he couldn't help it. When he got the chance to put his face between slick thighs, he wanted to know how to do it well.

Katja shook her head, rolled her eyes and sighed… though Jess thought he caught a tiny fragment of a suppressed smile. She pointed to a part of the floor that would give him a decent sightline over her shoulder. 

He launched himself at the offered spot and got comfortable.

Katja licked Anit’s crease from bottom to top, several times. She dove into the center and pressed a tongue as far as she could inside of her. She took one frilly lip into her mouth and swirled it around, then took the other.

And Anit moaned, and grunted, and cooed.

Katja spread Anit open at the top and caressed her there with a finger on either side of her swollen clit. Then she looked back over her shoulder at Jess.

“Usually…” she drawled quietly. “Indirect pressure.” Then she stared at his mouth and twirled the tip of her tongue in a circle at him.

At that moment, Jess couldn’t imagine anything Katja could do with her tongue that he wouldn’t be interested in.

She applied her own advice to Anit, and the tiny woman’s sounds quickly became shrieks and shouts. Anit flailed, and Katja’s majestic arms came in handy to keep Anit’s hips fixed in place so her aim stayed true. And Anit pitched and arched her back until she collapsed back against the couch in a splendid, spent way.

All of Katja’s forcefulness had dissipated, and she softly moved back up to meet Anit’s face. They kissed and caressed and murmured where Jess couldn’t hear, so Jess left the floor and retook his seat.

He sat quietly, eyes averted from their sudden tenderness, lost in thought.

After a moment, he heard them shuffling to a new position, and then Katja cleared her throat roughly. 

He looked back at them and smiled -- Anit glassy-eyed in Katja’s arms. Katja smiling, amused.

Then Katja’s brow was furrowed, and she looked at Jess’ cock as though she were offended.

He was still hard, and hadn’t finished himself. 

She glared at him, and he suppressed a laugh. He deliberately and intently held her gaze, not moving for several moments.

Then Jess gave in again. He opened the buttons of his shirt first, for good measure, and then pulled his cock out.

Anit barely registered any difference. Katja kept a cold, uninterested mask on her face, but didn’t look away from his crotch, nor did she blink.

He stroked his full length, watching her. Willing her to notice something she liked. His muscles, far sleeker than hers. His length and girth. He wondered if his body hair suited her, and then wondered if it suited him. Maybe he’d try something different, like the hairless Egyptian style.

A slow-growing heat in her stare got him harder and harder, and Jess’ night had already had plenty of stimulating material. His strokes soon reached a fever pitch.

And then Katja looked up and met his eye.

At that glance, he tipped over the edge, spilling all over his chest and shuddering at the intensity of his climax.

Katja looked him up and down as his breathing slowed again. And what began as a smile of reluctant admiration on her face turned for instant into a deep hunger, that then disappeared behind another mask.

Jess took a deep breath, and admired her from head to toe.

Then he leaned in.

“Anit,” Jess said, as Katja tossed him a small napkin nearby. He used it to wipe himself down.

“Mmmhhhhhmmmm,” Anit said, smiling, eyes mostly closed.

“I’m going to head home,” Jess told her.

Anit slowly nodded. “Mmmhhhmmm, I love you, Jess.”

“I love you too.” He smiled.

He stood, and caught Katja’s eyes one more time.

“Enjoy the rest of your evening,” he said.

She raised an eyebrow, but otherwise stayed still, arms curled around Anit.

Jess nodded to her and left.


	2. Cunnilingus (Prompt #4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess is the center of a tasty party game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter include: cunnilingus, biting, genital biting, group sex, blindfold, anonymous sex, pseudo-incest, bodily fluids.

Jess indulgently had his hands stuffed under his legs. He wasn't really in the mood to take orders today, but it seemed very important to everyone else involved that his hands not wander into too many clues. 

So he dutifully kept them to himself as he leaned forward, blindfolded, and found thighs waiting to guide his tongue to its target.

The first taste was a honey-sweet sweat on smooth, muscled skin. He followed the heat until he found quivering folds of flesh, and small slick of fluid with hints of blackcurrant and salt.

He indulged himself on savoring the banquet before him. There was something so primal about this, but at the same time almost otherworldly… delicately devouring the most guarded part of someone else spread out before him. A friend, or possibly a stranger. 

It might be Katja under his tongue. Or Anit. Or one of the two friends they brought. He hadn't tasted any of the four people around him before tonight. The two who he’d known already, he hadn't even kissed.

Jess did a short, hard suck on the clit in front of him and listened for a verbal response. But if they were inclined to make sounds, they managed to keep it to themselves. So he returned to wandering around this vulva and amused himself with detailed work around the frilly labia.

This could be Anit. He'd caught glimpses between her legs while she was naked before, and this could match her.  _ This taste didn't match her scent well enough _ , he thought.  _ Maybe one of the strangers. _

With four people unwilling to give away who they were, talk was minimal, except when Jess stopped his work to make a comment. He was glad Anit thought to start the new gramophone before they began. Some gentle piano sonnets serenaded him while he worked.

Just then the person he was licking pushed his head away, and there was motion on the bed. 

"Is there a regular rotation?” Jess asked, amused. “Am I being timed?"

A hand behind him started pushing his head down again.

"Should I start guessing so you feel freer to vocalize responses? It's difficult to make artistic choices when I don't know the quality of my work.”

The hand behind him stopped pushing, and he could feel the four of them communicating nonverbally around him. 

A body came close, and a voice spoke.

"We will collectively inform you that your performance has been more than adequate thus far."

Anit. From an angle that didn't clear up whether she was splayed in front of him or leaning in from the side.

"Good to know," Jess smiled. "I do take requests. Just pipe up."

The hand behind him got persistent, so he dove into what was in front of him again.

He tasted this one before. This was the sweet, sharp lime, with short, swollen lips. 

He tried something he’d only thought of as she pulled away last time, a sucking action on her whole labia that he could fit in his mouth.

That inspired a moan in the owner, cut short once she'd realized what she'd done. 

"Alright, you didn't give me names before we started,” Jess said. “But this is one of my new friends. The pale one with the blond hair."

"Dammit!" she said.

"Don't beat yourself up, I knew before you moaned."

There were sounds of disbelief from more than one direction.

"I did! I swear I did."

There was a long delay then… long enough that Jess thought it was getting intentional.

"Well, this isn't any fun,” he goaded. “Give me something to suck please, or the blindfold comes off."

He reached for it, and a hand stopped him. Slender, cool… maybe Anit, maybe the other new friend. He wasn't sure. 

But then there were sounds that matched someone standing on the mattress and moving toward him. Without dipping his head down, he leaned forward.

Hair tickled his lips and he knew he was close. He pressed in and found a luscious mound, and dropped his jaw to lean into the slit below.

Katja said indirect pressure… usually.  _ Does this one want indirect? Start there and find out. _

Jess briefly wondered how sore his tongue would be tomorrow, and then dove in with curls and swings and dips.

This one stayed where they stood, and let him work for some time, finally tilting to where Jess could do no other than direct pressure. So he committed to it, and they shuddered silently where they stood. He kept going until they put a hand to his head, then he pulled away.

"I think that's my other new friend," Jess guessed. "Yes?"

Only the music answered him, and the sensation of more shifting going on around him.

"Oh, Jess replied to himself. “Now my guesses will just be noted and stored till the whole test is over, is that it?"

Another hand behind him, encouraging him to lean down. He did, and discovered a mound reclining in front of him. He gave it a few kisses, then adjusted to reach more of the groove.

This had been the first one Jess had tasted tonight. He'd been a bit overwhelmed to process details at the time, but he recognized it now. He hadn't had four different tastes yet, though. They were ordering themselves randomly, it seemed.

Long frills. Shaved hairless. Already very wet. A familiar scent of a peppery musk. 

_ Anit. I'm eating out Anit now. And not for the first time. _

Jess had a sudden urge to be perfect and delicate and loving, and give her a mind-blowing orgasm, to take care of her. He just barely kept his thoughts in check, slowly coming back around to the task of simply enjoying himself. That’s what he’d done all night, and that plan had been affirmed by participants as yielding better than adequate results so far.

He played with a narrower tongue and then a wider one, and tried to guess from the gentle fidgeting what was more pleasantly received.

Jess lifted up his head.

"Don't take this as a request to switch but this is definitely Anit."

He dipped his head back down quickly, though not quickly enough, and a hand gripped his hair and kept him from getting any closer. But he still managed the tip of his tongue just  _ barely  _ on her clit, and he heard a gasp.

The hand kept Jess where he was but Anit lifted her hips and dug into his mouth. He sucked and tongued until he heard more gasps and felt more shuddering… and then she was gone.

And then Jess got knocked over onto his back, landing heavily on the mattress.

In the next moment, someone was sitting on his face.

Out of instinct, he moaned into the flesh at his mouth, this one smoother and rounder than the others.

He licked the slippery groove and it tasted... pink. He had no idea how else to articulate it. More than all the others, he could see the colors in front of him even with his eyes covered.

It also tasted like cinnamon, and some tang he couldn't place.

_ Katja. _

Jess thrust tongue inside as far as he could, and soon felt fingers carding through his hair. He'd take that as a good response.

He licked and prodded and sucked, and finally broke the rules to draw his arms up to wrap them tightly around these thighs. Then he rocked his whole face down her groove, a movement she helped along with her hips.

Her thighs covered his ears, but he could barely hear heavy breathing.

He felt a desperate desire to cause a little pain. So he picked a spot - not too tender to start with, something thicker, closer to muscle - and he bit down sharply and held on.

He heard the hiss of a sharp intake of breath, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she gripped his hair harder and pushed his face in toward the bite.

Once he let go, he pulled back on pressure but kept grazing his teeth against thinner and thinner skin, until he was nibbling at her labia.

Finally, he risked a short, sharp pinch of a bite on a thinner part of her lip.

It was definitely Katja, and she groaned in unmistakable arousal.

And then suddenly, her weight was off his head and shoulders, his arms pushed away. 

And then Jess had been shoved over, his face pressed into the bed, his arm tight behind his back.

Katja growled quietly in his ear. "Don't start something you won't finish properly," she said.

Jess maneuvered his head off the covers to speak. 

"I have every intention of finishing it,” he panted. “Properly. What about you?"

She let go a hot breath across his cheek, and then another.

"It's a date. But not here and now."

Jess let himself shudder under her. 

"Deal," he said as calmly as he could.

She pulled away from him… and no one touched him.

He waited, a full minute or two. Then he slowly moved for the blindfold, and when no one stopped him, he took it off. 

Katja was crosslegged on the bed behind him, still naked. Next to her stood Anit, also not wearing anything. The pale new friend leaned against a wall, the dark-skinned friend against a bedpost. 

All watching him. All looking quite comfortable and at ease without a stitch of clothing on. Jess marveled at the view, and his luck.

He looked down at his own trousers, realized they’d gotten a bit damp down the front, and chuckled. He’d have to wear his shirt untucked to look presentable heading home.

“Anybody else need attention, to get where they want to go tonight?” he asked with his most charming smile.

The dark-skinned new friend slapped him jovially on the shoulder.

“Rest your silver tongue, my friend,” she said.

“I think we’re good,” Anit said, looking around. “More than good.”

“I’m alright,” Katja said, shrugging.

Jess squinted at her with playful suspicion. “Do I get to know names on the new folks?” he asked.

“You have to guess those, too,” the pale one said, as they both wandered off looking for clothes.

“Rumpelstiltskin,” he asked.

They laughed, and Katja spoke.

“I never was clear on the rules on this one. Who won?”

“Clearly, I did,” Jess said. 

And the new girls laughed again.

Jess smiled at Anit, who smiled back, and Jess started looking for his own clothes.


	3. Forniphilia (prompt #7)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess loses a bet, and learns about a new fetish in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter include human furniture, public nudity, altered state/trance, and hand jobs.

Jess was intensely aware of how many people might be looking at his cock right now.

There was no way to know, of course. But he knew if _he _ever found himself sharing a room with a naked cock-owner holding very still, on his knees, a book mounted open in his hands, he might be more than a little curious himself how things were getting along down there.

And, as it happened, things had been getting along anywhere from half-mast to full on raring to go, for the entire time he had held this book… though he at least had the excuse that the sounds of explicit orgasms had been going on around his immobile form the entire time. That fact probably meant that no one was digging deeper into any part that the book in his hand might have played in his arousal. Even as one of the more upscale sex clubs in town, it still wasn’t the sort of place that directly eroticized originals, and he wasn’t in the mood to explain.

But it was the fourth copy of The Ingenious Hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha, long thought lost, and Jess thrilled to have it in his hands, to know it existed, to see it in fine shape. He thrilled at how it smelled so strongly and intricately of paper and leather... that scent even more obvious for how it leaned only an inch or two away from his nose these 20 minutes, balanced as it was on the handkerchief across his forehead. Jess had never had cause to sit with his nose against a book this long, and he’d found threads of aromas in this scent that he suspected he’d never noticed. Layers of overtones and backnotes and lingering flavors… vanilla and almond and subtle florals. 

That element of the afternoon had been quite pleasant, though the accompanying occasional boredom and the deep ache of sitting so still hefting this weight was something he could honestly do without. 

Was this the point of being human furniture? The pain? Or maybe it was the exhibitionism. He was very naked, in front of many other people, though even that wasn’t necessarily arousing him under the circumstances. He knew no one here, and the nudity felt as perfunctory as maneuvering the High Garda field shower facilities. He wasn’t sure he understood the erotic appeal of this activity yet, if it didn’t always involve a book pressed against him. 

As though someone read his mind, the weight of the book lifted off his hands.

“I think we’ve reviewed enough of this volume,” a voice said. 

It was Isabel, one of the three people who Katja had arranged for him to meet here, to fulfill his part of the damned wager he’d lost. Isabel and the two men with her had all been pleasant and engaging enough, and had quickly put him to the work he was to perform. But they all seemed to Jess like rather bored - and boring - dilettantes… the sort of folks who probably stumbled upon the treasure of this book for no other reason than the thrill of owning it when it was illegal. Certainly, none of these three had caught his attention as appetizing play partners… though at least one might have a library worth his attention. Jess made a mental note to track down at least this volume for rescue, at some point when his pants were back on. 

Isabel took the handkerchief off his head as well, and nodded at him with a smile.

“Thank you, mistress,” Jess said with relief, if not necessarily enthusiasm. Not interested in standing on ceremony, he rubbed one bicep, then the other, without asking anyone permission.

He didn’t get up, but he did stretch his shoulders and take a look around. The room was dressed as though it were a sitting room in a wealthy home, though it was basically one subsection of a long, squat, converted warehouse. The Black Boot - the fanciest of the non-Library affiliated sex clubs in Alexandria - had acquired the warehouse some years back and remodeled it into a play space. Tonight, a crowd of people in formal wear milled around overstuffed couches and polished wooden tables, across imitation-expensive rugs on the floor. Some were in various stages of having sex on said tables. Others besides Jess were strewn around the room as endtables, glowstands and so forth, all of them naked, like him. Most others were bound with rope, though Jess had foregone that himself. It wasn’t a bad look for anybody, he thought. Tied up and forgotten about. Jess could intellectually wrap his head around why someone might want to see it, or do it. He just didn’t think he’d have enjoyed it were it not for the book, or the other sex acts around him. And those could be enjoyed well enough without the pain, and the interminable sitting still. 

Well, at least his obligation to Katja was filled. And now he had more research done about what floated his boat.

He looked to the three sitting on the couch nearby, and they were entirely uninterested in him. He decided the feeling was mutual, and stood up to scan the room more thoroughly.

As soon as she did, his eyes snagged on a familiar snake tattoo across the room. 

Katja.

She hadn’t given him an answer as to whether she’d even be here tonight, but now she was here… possibly to check on him. From this far away in the crowd, he could see only that she wore something white on her shoulders. Jess suddenly found himself very curious to see what she chose to wear tonight. What he knew about her clothing taste so far were only her favored work clothes -- mostly utilitarian, but with a bit more snugness around her hips and chest than was strictly necessary to get her job done.

Just then, Katja turned away from someone she’d been speaking with, and lifted a drink to her lips. She nearly caught his gaze, but didn’t quite, her eyeline skating over his shoulder. He wondered if that was purposely done.

Then he remembered he was still naked. His lack of clothes among these strangers had felt ordinary and forgettable most of the night. But now Katja was here. It felt different to be nude now... but not because he wanted to cover up, he didn’t think. 

He decided instead he’d try to gently catch her attention. He looked away with deceptive casualness, but when he looked back, he’d lost her. She wasn’t where she’d been, and she wasn’t anywhere nearby the area either.

He started scanning the crowd in every direction. It was the oddest sort of feeling, and one foriegn to him -- wanting to blend into a crowd and yet not blending in, because most were wearing clothes. He decided this wasn’t his preferred style of exhibitionism, though he wasn’t ready to rule out the activity as a whole.

Mostly though, he was impatient to find Katja. 

And when a nearby cluster of people parted, there she was. He had the distinct impression that she’d deliberately found him.

The white he’d seen on her was the jacket of a men’s suit. She wore white slacks too, but with two significant differences from most suits he’d seen. First, the outfit was tailored to fit her the way he imagined she wanted it to, which still included a snug fit across her hips, thighs, and breasts. Second, she wore nothing under the jacket, except a thin gold chain wrapped around her neck and dangling down the plunging neckline.

The fabric all looked soft to the touch, and glimmery, but it still gave her a sleek, sharp line across the top of her shoulders. Her hair was slicked into a curved style that had never once caught his eye on any man he’d seen wear it. But on her, it was a very compelling look. It seemed Katja didn’t favor the vivid reds that others with lipstain were wearing tonight. Her lips were wet with something, though they were still a similar warm tan to the rest of her. The white of her hair and the white of the suit was contrasted with smoky kohl around her eyes.

“Hi,” he managed.

_ We’re really going to keep leading with that, then? _

“Hi there,” she said, politely avoiding looking directly at his dangly bits, but still suggestively cocking an eyebrow at him. “Did you find your assigned contacts then?” she asked.

Jess nodded and turned toward the couch… which was now empty.

“They were here,” he said, an odd bewilderment washing over him. “They wandered away.”

“Everything alright?” Katja asked.

Jess pursed his lips in thought. “I’m not sure I’ve held up my end of the wager.”

“Did you offer yourself as furniture?”

“I did.”

“For how long?”

“Must have been about half an hour. Maybe.”

“And?”

“I… held up a book.”

“So you were a bookstand.”

“Mhm.”

Both of Katja’s eyebrows lifted, and Jess suspected she felt as lost as he did about where the conversation should go.

“I don’t know if I did it right,” he confessed.

“Did you hold the book?”

“Um… yes.”

Katja laughed a raspy laugh, and smiled in that way that made a pleasant creased dimple on one side of her face.

“Brightwell, I was watching. You held still and did your job. For the requisite time. You did what you said you would. You have fulfilled your duties as a wager loser.”

She lingered on the word “loser” a beat longer than he’d expected, and he was suddenly quite intensely aware - again - that he was stark naked in the middle of a formal party speaking to a beautiful woman. And if she didn’t stop being so alluring, he might have some responses that he didn’t necessarily want to share with the entire room.

“Alright, well,” he tried. “Again, I’m not sure what I was supposed to be doing, so I don’t know if I did it right. But if you say so.”

Katja sighed, and studied him a moment. Jess thought if she worked at it, she might nearly rival Wolfe in her look of piercing assessment.

Then she suddenly gripped him by his jaw. He was shocked enough to respond obediently when she turned to lead him to an empty chair.

Then she let go, snapped her fingers and pointed to the floor.

“On your hands and knees,” she demanded casually.

Jess nearly - nearly - asked her if she had really just snapped her fingers at him and given an order. He bristled and nearly pushed back… with a comment, a look, with simple lack of obedience. But his curiosity about where this was going won out… that and the feeling that he might better sense his obligation fulfilled by whatever she had in mind.

So Jess sunk to his knees, and put his hands down to the floor to hold the weight of his shoulders.

The mildness of his confusion and curiosity spun out into something much more intense when Jess felt Katja take the empty chair, swing her legs up, and put her feet up on his back. He could feel Katja’s muscular calves, by turns tight and relaxed as she shifted her legs into a comfortable position. He could feel the stiff leather of the heels of her boots against his back.

And now he felt his stiffest erection so far tonight, pressing against his stomach.

This. This was like the thrill of the book… being present for something… something _ what _? Special? A connection to something or someone outside himself. But this was also a deep stillness. A stillness expected out of him, and so there was nothing pressing to do. No expectation of accomplishment.

_ Is the stillness the point? _ He wondered. He’d spent the whole first session looking for something to focus on. _ But what if that wasn’t the problem to solve? _

The shifting weight of Katja’s legs on his back brought him back to her. She was enjoying this, he could tell. That was another arousing factor. Jess wanted Katja to have a good time. He just wasn’t certain what he wanted that good time to be.

“Hand me that book, will you?” Jess heard Katja say to someone. Someone else, not him. It wasn’t his job to reach for anything. It wasn’t even his job to look and see who was doing it for her.

But somebody did because he felt the motions vibrate down her legs… hefting a book into her hands. Settling it and opening it and flipping the pages.

Maybe it was an original? Maybe it was a book from his printing house. He might have approved the galley copy of what she held in her hand. 

But that didn’t matter now. His job now was elevating Katja’s feet comfortably while she read. She was unhurried, and the feeling traveled from her into him.

His mind took its chance to unfocus, as though it knew what he was doing better than he did. _ It’s as though there’s a trap door to find _ , he thought idly. _ Or a smuggler’s stash. It’s like that, but without anything to find. _

_ I think I like this. It’s quiet. _

He lost track of whether he was hard or not. It didn’t matter. He lost track of time. But what he knew every detail of was the movements of Katja’s legs above him. The pattern of her switching which ankle was crossed on top. The curve of her foot when she idly flexed it. The rigid scrape of her heel. The smooth softness of her slacks. Sometimes, when the quiet got too quiet, he’d remind himself of Katja there utilising him. A shift of her leg. A brush of the back of her heel. But mostly, he enjoyed the stillness in his head.

At some point he came out of his odd state of being somewhere else, and realized she had just propped her foot on his flank with a small jostle. 

His calm lingered, but now there was a buzz growing inside adding to it, and filling him up. He was very intensely aware of her proximity to him.

He felt himself blink back into the room, just as Katja shifted her legs away, and leaned over to speak in his ear.

“What do you think about it now?” she said hoarsely.

Jess didn’t have any idea what to say, but he nodded.

“How long was that one?”

“About an hour.”

“What?” He would not have guessed more than 10 minutes.

She made an affirmative sound, and ran her fingertips through his hair for just an instant.

“Katja, have you done this?” he had to ask. “Been furniture for someone?”

He felt as though she had nodded her head, but he felt blurry and wasn’t sure. When she spoke, he could hear the smile on her lips.

“No comment,” she said.

The question sprung to his lips as his heart raced, and he asked quickly before he could change his mind.

“Would you do it for me?” he asked.

“Do you have unmet furniture needs?” she asked earnestly.

At that he turned his head and found her gaze, and willed himself to pin her down with his hunger.

Her eyes sparkled a moment, and they stared in silence.

He suddenly felt a little dizzy and out of breath.

“I have… unmet needs,” he stammered. “Yes.”

She smiled at that, something evasive in her eyes as she spoke.

“Well, I can do something about one of them. Turn over.”

Jess’ brain was sluggish, and while he shifted himself to move somehow, he wasn’t sure what position to move to.

“Lay down on your back, Jess. On the rug here.”

He did as he was told, feeling too intoxicated to do anything else.

He found himself watching the ceiling as her warm hand reached for the center of his chest, then dipped lower. Her fingers followed the trail of hair down from his belly button, and landed at the newly bare patch he’d tended to before getting nude in public. 

Every part of him felt like warm butter. Every part of him felt like an unhurried river. Every inch of his skin felt like it was the skin under Katja’s hand, tingling and tender.

She stroked and rubbed his cock in a rhythm that reverberated all the way through him. Somewhere she’d gotten lubrication - he had no idea where - and now Katja’s hand felt like hot silk wrapped around his shaft.

He craved a release, and he craved her. 

Jess curved up weakly to meet her, reaching for her face, and Katja leaned over him to meet his hand. He stroked a thumb across her cheekbone as she stroked him perfectly.

They pressed foreheads together for an instant, until the pull in his groin sent him arching back, a raw release pulsing through him.

Jess lost the sense of time passing one more time, overcome with bliss. 

When he came to, everyone in the room seemed to have returned from somewhere to mill around again, though some part of him was sure they’d never really left. He found Katja happily licking her hands clean.

When she saw him looking, she grinned.

“Lost bet fairly paid there, Brightwell.” And she slapped him twice on his stomach.


	4. Oviposition (prompt #8)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess pitches in to help a friend with a novel new interest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter include anal sex, public sex, group sex, insect mention, simulated egglaying, simulated oviposition, ovipositor toy, excessive sex fluids, erotic mesmerism, fear, consensual nonconsent, predator/prey, sadism and rape play. 
> 
> Again, please do note there are elements of consensual nonconsent in this chapter.

“And then…” they said with a sly smile. “The eggs squirt out! And it’s enough to change your life!” 

“I see,” Jess nodded, noncommittally. He wasn’t quite sure what to say to that.

“I know what you’re thinking,” they said with a serious expression, pointing a lacquered fingernail at him as it dripped with gelatinous goo. “You’re asking yourself, ‘how does one even discover such an uncommon thing as a hard-on for being ravished by giant insectoid aliens?’ It’s a legitimate question you have there, I grant you that.”

Jess had known Abiyah about 20 minutes now - the same 20 minutes the two of them sat on hard chairs around a small kitchen table - and he was already rather fond of their thoughtful, straightforward, slightly intoxicated demeanor. 

“That would be one way to phrase one of the questions in my head, yes,” Jess replied with a grin.

“You’re a sensible person on a noble quest for knowledge, and I appreciate that about you, Scholar Brightwell,” Abiyah said with a flirtatious wink. With their hands otherwise occupied, they still skillfully swung a silky black curtain of hair over their shoulder with a smooth shrug.

“No, no,” Jess corrected. “I’m not a Scholar. I'm just a Librarian."

They gasped. "Oh, is that why you're here, and not at a Scholars party?" Abiyah asked, pulling one more pale, quivering jelly-like egg out of a brass mold and dropping it into a small tub full of similar shapes, all submerged in a thick fluid. “I was wondering about that. Have you been banished to the nether regions of nether-region-themed parties?”

“Are you kidding? This is my favorite place to play so far,” Jess replied. And it was. The Pit - as its name implied - had no pretensions. It wasn’t trying to impress anyone. It was a very large, old boarding house that someone was just barely keeping up to the proper codes, and anyone with the entry fee and a working understanding of consent was welcomed in for all manner of sexual experiences. This made it a raw, lusty, rowdy place, especially when the port was full of ships. But on quieter nights of the week, it meant mingling with a cast of characters that Jess couldn’t have found anywhere else in town. 

“What, the Black Boot isn’t your scene?” Abiyah asked with mock surprise. They suddenly dunked both hands into the tub and paused to savor the sensation. “You know they just got new potpourri in all their bathrooms, at the Black Boot… all blessed by the Archivist herself!”

Jess grinned as Abiyah stood and lifted both arms out of the tub, and slippery, slimey imitiation insect jizz dripped down both of their forearms.

“It’s ready!!” They hollered into the hall.

Ten minutes later, piles of newly bleached house linens on every surface of the playroom, Abiyah was naked and straddling what Jess had heard referred to as the Spanking Bench. One of the burly regulars at the Pit - a man slightly larger than Thomas, and who everyone called Tiny - was repeatedly thrusting a cock of a slightly startling length and girth into Abiyah’s ass.

This was, as Jess understood it, Abiyah’s warm-up routine for the alien egglaying.

"Fuck, fuck fuck, fuck, fuck yes please! Fuck!" Abiyah hollered at Tiny.

“I got you, love,” Tiny said in a gruff voice, picking up his pace and his breathing rate.

Jess took a moment to appreciate that his very strange life now had room in it for a new acquaintance to get their ass tended to so thickly and lovingly in front of him.

As Abiyah’s cries hit a slightly higher pitch, another participant - also naked and sporting a magnificent set of breasts that Jess found very distracting - leaned around Jess’ shoulder and handed him a large rubber dildo.

At least, Jess thought it was a dildo at first. Then he realized it was hollow, and had a vaguely beak-shaped tip.

“Okay,” the new friend said, “you just feed the eggs through the hole at the base, as many as it takes to spit some out the other side.”

“Is… is this _my_ job, then?” Jess blinked.

“Unless you object.”

“... absolutely not. Let’s do it,” Jess replied. “How… how many…”

The new friend with breasts shrugged, which was a good look for their breasts. “It’s Abiyah, so… I brought the whole tub.”

They pointed down, and Jess saw the tub with about two dozen of the translucent jelly eggs in it, wobbling around in fluid.

“I guess we’re good on lubrication?” Jess said, eyeing the extra fluid.

Tiny had just stopped shuddering over Abiyah’s writhing body. “I did what I could,” he panted as he moved away.

“Much appreciated, Tiny,” Jess said, and gave him a pat on his back. He took a moment to hope that the etiquette for handing off penetration duties in such a situation was generally what one would intuitively think it was.

The circle of participants who had gathered around Abiyah were beginning to snap to attention, and one of them asked Abiyah a question.

“What’s your ceasecode, baby?”

Abiyah moaned and wiggled their behind in anticipation.

“Abiyah?” They were prompted again by someone in the crowd around them. Jess waited to hear them affirm the code.

“Oh." Abiyah struggled to think clearly. "It’s...‘Michelangelo.’ If I say Michelangelo… after this time saying it... then, fucking stop but not now!!”

“That is correct,” the prompting participant replied. Jess put a face to the voice, and realized the dark, broad-shouldered shirtless participant in a pleated skirt was guiding them through this part. “Everybody clear?”

There was a chorus of affirming sounds from everyone around Abiyah… which now included Tiny and Jess at the back, one person on either side, the skirt-wearing code-clarifier at one shoulder, and someone on their knees at Abiyah’s face, casually chatting.

“Hang on. Where's the Mesmer?”Abiyah asked.

“The Mesmer?!” Jess said, startled.

In a singsong voice, Abiyah threw their order further out into the group of spectators. “I'm ready for my brain bug now!” they said.

Someone in the larger crowd soon pulled a very small, frail old woman into the room. She wore a faded smock and her silver hair was up in a severe bun. After a moment, Jess recognized her -- he had seen her replacing linens here a few times, and he hadn’t been entirely certain until now whether she could see or hear much at all. Everyone he’d seen interact with her called her “Mother.”

Mother came close and patted Abiyah on the head lovingly, and Abiyah purred while Mother slowly opened her mouth to speak.

“Mesmerizing costs extra, you lush,” Mother said.

“I’m good for it, Mother,” Tiny told her.

Mother nodded, then starting stroking Abiyah’s arms and murmuring to her.

Jess finally approached the tub of eggs and picked one up. It was a strange but not unpleasant sensation. About the size of a chicken egg, it yielded mildly to a finger or a squeeze, but was firm enough to spring back to its egg shape. It was coated in something like sex secretions, but somehow more exaggerated… stickier and stringier, without quite being disagreeably so.

Jess quickly inserted a handful of eggs one by one into the rubber toy in his hands… enough to fill it.

“Here’s the important thing to remember, dear," Mother said, still stroking them. "You just don’t know. You don’t know when those big, muscly, alien arthopod-”

“Oh fuck-” Abiyah began talking over her.

“You don’t when or where you might be taken by these giant, inhuman-”

“Yes!”

“Invasive-”

“Oh God yes-”

“Penetrating monsters.”

“Fuck yes, please! please!”

That was a cue to the participants on either side of Abiyah. They now each wore rings on every finger with blunt metal claw-like protrusions that extended out past their fingertips, and as the Mesmer said the word monsters, they dragged their fingers across Abiyah's skin, this way and that. Abiyah writhed in a frenzy, making sounds that hit Jess strangely... primally signalling to him something of desire and fear mingled together. 

Jess stood behind Abiyah, admiring the shape of their ass and back -- narrow and delicate and easy to overpower. His first impulse was to grip, to hold down and immobilize… but all of that would emphasize his warm, narrow form. And he didn't think Abiyah wanted that. 

_ Cold. Hard. Big. Foreign-feeling. I think that's the point. _

Jess also avoided putting a warning hand on their ass. He nodded instead to one of the spiky-fingered participants, pointing toward Abiyah's hips. Both spikers caught on to grip in a bracing way.

Abiyah caught on to the change and yelped and shivered, trying to be still. Jess noticed that Abiyah had also stopped speaking in anything other than animalistic sounds.

Then Jess took fingerfuls of the extra fluid and dribbled it down the crease between Abiyah's ass cheeks. 

Abiyah screamed… a piercing shriek that was dark and desperate, part yearning and part terror. Jess again took in his own arousal at Abiyah's responses, then before keeping them waiting any longer, he dragged the cool, pointed lips of the toy up their crease and pushed roughly inside.

Abiyah convulsed and made a choking sound, gripping the side of the spanking bench so hard their knuckles were white. 

The toy stayed firm against Jess' pressure on it, and he debated whether to pause there or not, and let them adjust… or if that was antithetical to the spirit of the thing. They wanted to be taken, he thought. They wanted to be overwhelmed. Jess' eye flitted quickly over to the person at Abiyah's head, and then to Tiny, who was now casually drinking something - and observing - nearby. They each gave him a little nod, and Jess began pulling out and thrusting back in, quick and hard.

Abiyah shrieked and moaned, then quieted down to a rhythmic murmuring sound. They looked to be trying to simultaneously get closer to Jess and also crawl away. Jess wondered what it was like to reach so deeply into one’s fear that you were willing to let it physically penetrate you.

He felt a strange oily chill in his gut, that he didn’t quite dislike. And in response, he let himself get rougher, pressing his weight against Abiyah to pin them more tightly against the bench, and penetrating deeper.

Abiyah shouted out wordlessly, then returning to nearly chanting something again, and Jess realized with a shiver that they were saying “no” over and over again. Quietly, to themselves. A steady stream of saying no.

He thrust in, then paused to catch his breath. He was startled at how badly he wanted to keep going.

Jess glanced around at Abiyah’s other participants. He’d seen some of them run other scenes where “no” was said. He’d seen others with Abiyah frequently. He looked to the two people who could see their face best; the first, the friend in the skirt, gave him a nod. The second, closer in with a hand on their cheek, was smiling.

_ This is what the cease code is for. They want this done. They just want to say ‘no’ while it happens. _

Jess thought for a minute that he might understand why.

He slowly picked up the pace again, and thought about what he’d do to pin Abiyah down himself and give them what they wanted. He got faster and rougher, and when Tiny picked up the tub and held it close, Jess rammed the toy in, and shoved three more eggs in the base.

He felt the contents of the whole toy shift down to spill eggs out of the tip.

Abiyah had stopped murmuring, and returned to what sounded like ecstatic choking sounds.

As he inched the toy back out, Jess put another egg in, and one more.

As he lifted the toy out of Abiyah’s ass entirely, Tiny slopped another handful of the fluids across where it had been. Then the four of them - the penetration team and the two spiked supporters - all took their hands away.

Abiyah suddenly, convulsively lifted themselves off the bench and dropped down to the floor, moaning in dark delight. The friends that had been at their front end through the action drew in close with them on the floor, and the others all exited, taking rings and slippery toys with them.

When Jess looked back from the hallway, Abiyah was wrapped in a blanket, being squeezed between their two friends. They had a glassy look in their eyes and they were smiling. 

Jess struggled to understand all the things he was feeling, as he helped Tiny with clean-up back in the kitchen.

“It’s a bit intense, isn’t it?” Tiny said, washing Abiyah’s molds for them.

“A bit,” Jess chuckled.

“You did well. You’re a natural.”

“Uh-oh,” Jess said. “I was aiming for unnatural on this one.”

Tiny gave that one more of a chuckle than it deserved, Jess thought.. 

"So why aren't you at the Chamber?” he asked Jess.

Jess wasn’t sure how to answer, since he hadn't heard of the Chamber yet. "Haven't been there. Do you have to be a Scholar?”

Tiny raised an eyebrow. "Hardly. I thought you were High Garda."

"Used to be. Librarian now."

“Ah. Well.” He put the mold on a drying rack, and picked up a towel for his hands. “If you want to play with your old colleagues, I imagine you could find your way in. I hope you don’t stop slumming with us, though.”

Jess finished rinsing the soap he’d been given off of the toy. “This has been, without a doubt, the most entertaining problem-solving collaboration I’ve ever been a part of,” Jess said. “And I appreciate your input. And I like it here. But Abiyah never got around to telling me how they got interested in this, uh… activity.”

“The alien roleplay? It’s a book.”

“A book?” Jess asked.

Tiny nodded. “It does exist, I’ve seen it. Don’t let anyone tell you different.”

“What’s it called? Who’s the author?”

“It’s called _ Lust From the Skies _. Couldn’t say who wrote it.”

Jess laughed.

“A copy changed hands in town a few times, about a year ago now. Very hush hush. Had a reading of it here, though. Big crowd. Not sure where it ended up.”

“Well,” Jess said. “That’s very interesting.” He finished putting everything in the drying rack, and another question occurred to him. “Should I, um… should I check on Abiyah?”

Tiny shrugged. “You can if you like, but they have their support people.”

Tiny gave him a nod - and a slap on the back to rival any Thomas had given him - and headed down the hall.

“See you around, Librarian,” he called out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're curious:
> 
> 1) Gelatin eggs are reported to be safe for anal play, as they're intended to dissolve in body heat if they don't exit the typical way;
> 
> 2) One place to get a similar toy is www.primalhardwere.com where ovipositor styles include the Splorch, the G'lorp, and the Squick.


	5. Toys (prompt #10)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas instructs the Wolfe Pack on the newest in sex toy technology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No sex acts here. Tags for this chapter include group discussion of sex, dildo mention, vibrator mention, fucking machine mention, slight embarrassment, sexual innuendo, also trolling on sex topics.

“It’s not like you to be shy about your work, Scholar Schreiber.”

Wolfe aimed a pin-down gaze at Thomas, all of the sudden, and Jess tried not to enjoy the embarrassment on his friend’s face. Jess had gotten him into this situation, and it wasn’t quite fair to be enjoying it this much.

“Well, Scholar Wolfe,” Thomas said. He took a deep breath in, and let it out. That seemed to steady him. “Jess asked for a personal favor, about meeting some private needs. But if he’s invited you all here…”

Thomas looked around at Wolfe, Santi, Khalila, Dario… and Glain. Jess didn’t think she’d join them, but here she was. Thomas looked at them all, nodded, and plowed in.

“If you all want to see, then let’s all take a look,” Thomas said. “Jess requested personal toys for very intimate play, and I have made him a few different kinds.”

“Do you mean sex toys,” Dario said, eyebrows high.

“I mean sex life enhacement devices, yes.”

Dario doubled over in laughter. “Is this where our collective bonds stand now, that we do this together? Beloved, is this what you bring me to with no warning? Perhaps this isn’t the most modest use of your time-”

“I go where I please and you very well know that,” Khalila said with a raised eyebrow. “If the frank and direct communication becomes too much for you, my love, you have my permission to leave at any time.”

Dario flashed a wicked grin. “Yes, my Mistress,” he said. Jess started to ask what he meant by that, but decided he wasn’t quite prepared to know.

“Yes, then,” Thomas said, ushering them to a table and lifting a small towel. “Some enhancements for one’s intimate activities.”

On the table were three devices. The first two were clearly imitation phalluses. Jess wasn’t entirely sure what the third, slightly larger item was.

Dario reached for the one in the middle - an imitation phallus made of a substance Jess couldn’t place. Dario looked surprised when he touched and held the device.

“This feels… remarkably real,” he said.

“That is a simple imitation of a penis, cast in a new material we are still experimenting with -- a siloxane rubber.”

“The texture is truly extraordinary,” Dario said thoughtfully. He tried to pass the device to Jess, who was closest, but Jess wasn’t ready to receive a penis from Dario. Dario turned around and spun into Glain, who kept her hands in her pockets and arched an eyebrow at him. Dario noticed Nic and Wolfe right behind her, but turned away from them quickly. Finally, finding Khalila, he handed it to her. 

Khalila accepted it, rolling it between her fingers. “Yes, the texture is quite lifelike,” she said to the others.

Jess and Glain exchanged a glance.  _ You’re still an unmarried woman, Khalila, _ Jess thought, though he had sense enough not to say it.

“The material will warm to body temperature as it’s handled too,” Thomas informed them. “It’s quite remarkable. This toy is also made of the same material.”

He reached for the largest of the three items, and held it.

“This is a sheath, an imitation of a vagina, or an anus,” he said. His voice didn’t falter, though he was certainly a bit pinker than he’d been.

Dario again took it first. “Very narrow, does it stretch?”

“I wondered how long it would take you to start bragging on yourself,” Glain said.

“It was an honest observation,” Dario snapped. “Look.”

He held it up over his shoulder, and the opening was, in fact, not much wider than a pencil.

“Can any cock in this room fit into this as it is?” Dario persisted. “Don’t be shy, it’s your chance to prove me wrong.”

“Another benefit of this material,” Thomas said, “Depending on its formulation, it can be quite elastic. So I could control the… ah, the tightness of the fit by both the rigidity calculations but also by the width of the... uh, sheath.”

“You said formulation,” Wolfe said. “Is this substance injection molded?”

“Or extruded,” Thomas said, “Yes, sir.”

“Well it certainly feels better than a sock,” Dario said. This one, Jess was willing to take from him when he handed it off, though he could have done without Dario’s lurid grin at him.

Jess was not ready to feel the inside of the sheath in front of this crowd, but he did roll it between his fingers to get an idea of the outside texture. It was an alluring mix of firm and yielding, with a bit of silkiness to it.

“I’m considering a hard cover for it,” Thomas said, “To make it easier to wield. I’d be interested to know how easy users find it to handle in its current form. There are several of each of these available for testing. Please do provide feedback, should you decide to try one.”

“And this warms up too?” Jess asked.

“Yes, it will match your body temperature rather quickly.”

Jess offered it to Glain, standing next to him, who raised a hand to decline. He wasn’t brave enough to turn toward Nic and Wolfe behind him, but he did offer the sheath to them over his shoulder. When he felt Nic take it, he decided he wasn’t ready to make eye contact.

Thomas reached for the third of the three items that had been on the table. 

“This next device is a bit more traditional in the materials used -- it’s a straightforward, hollow bodied imitation phallus, made of inox steel. The innovation here is a small motor and battery that fits inside.”

He held up the metal penis and waited for someone to reach for it. When Khalila did, he let her hold it. Then he pressed something at the base. The penis vibrated in Khalila’s hands, making a buzzing sound. Jess, Dario and Glain all twitched a bit at the sudden sound, but Khalila kept her composure. She, in fact, stayed very still, watching the device in her hands.

It looked and sounded like a rather intense vibration, and Jess wondered what that must feel like against various body parts.

After a long few moments, Khalila looked back up at Thomas.

“I’ll be needing one of those, please,” she said. “Thank you, Thomas.”

Dario whipped his head up and watched Khalila silently. Thomas nodded and took the device back from her. 

“The final device to show you is over here,” Thomas said, walking them away from the table. 

Khalila ignored Dario’s interrogating headcock her direction, and continued her calm attention paid to Thomas. Jess exchanged a smile with Glain, who looked ecstatic at the interaction between the two betrothed.

They followed Thomas around to view an enclosed, wooden box sitting on a small stand. The box itself was about the size of Thomas’ large torso, and it had one small hole in a corner. This, Jess thought, was the surprise Thomas most wanted his input on.  _ Something you said one night,  _ Thomas had cryptically told him,  _ gave me an idea. You were a bit intoxicated… but I asked someone about it and they thought it was worth pursuing. _

“This device…” Thomas put a hand on it as he spoke. “Well, it’s based on a new construction tool, truth be told. The basis of its mechanism is that of what we’re calling a reciprocating saw. But some ah… consultation with interested parties led to… well, this is a prototype. There’s still more feedback to get. We can experiment with this to see if pursuing personal uses for this technology is feasible.”

“What does it do?” Glain asked.

“There are… several settings. I urge you to keep in mind-” Thomas glanced at Jess. “Keep in mind that this is still in a testing phase. I have several safety precautions I will discuss with anyone experimenting with this model.”

“Yes but  _ what  _ does it  _ do _ ?” Dario asked. “I promise you I’m not inserting anything of mine into that little hole at the bottom.”

“Oh sure, you say that  _ now _ ,” Jess retorted.

Dario gave him a look that started in exasperation, but ended with a tongue waggle, a kissing gesture and a leering wink.

“The hole is for inserting this.” Thomas reached behind and pulled out a metal rod with one of the siloxane phalluses fastened to the end.

“Eventually,” Thomas said, “We’ll be testing for the firmest possible formulation of the siloxane rubber, to enhance durability of the phallus under this type of duress. But for safety reasons, we’re starting with softer grades, to minimize injury.”

Thomas inserted the rod into the box, and the phallus stood patiently out at attention, sagging only a bit.

Then Thomas reached for a switch on the side, and flipped it.

Jess thought the phallus would vibrate. It did not. It thrust itself back and forth. It thrust itself a  _ lot _ . With a lot of force. The soft rubber wobbled wildly under the force.

Jess’ breath caught, and he nearly took a step back. Khalila gave a choked cry. Glain cocked her head. Jess even heard something behind him, from Wolfe. A sniff? Or a chuckle?

“¡Tócate los cojones!” Dario said in surprise.

“I don’t see cojones,” Wolfe deadpanned, “though I suspect a siloxane pair could be added, if you’re craving them that badly.”

Dario whipped his head around, amused and shocked in equal measure. He enthusiastically opened his mouth to respond, but Jess didn’t get to enjoy whatever he’d planned to say. Dario seemed to realize just then that it was  _ Scholar Wolfe _ he was about to speak to, closed his mouth and turned back around to wait attentively on Thomas’ next instructions.

“That’s probably a good choice on your part, all things considered,” Jess said.

Dario nodded.

Thomas wrapped up his instructions on the machine, while Jess took very careful mental notes. And made plans.


	6. Lingerie (Prompt #12)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Dario's POV: an intimate invitation from his beloved wife doesn't go quite as Dario expected. Thus begins a slow burn on something a long-time coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter include lingerie, partial nudity, dubious consent, flirting, teasing, dirty talk, slow burn and angst.
> 
> **TIME JUMP: This chapter takes place approximately one year after the Coliseum battle.**

"Dario?”

Bent over a book and lost in thought, it took him a moment to hear his name, called faintly from down the hall. Dario wasn’t expecting to hear Khalila’s voice for hours yet, perhaps not even until tomorrow.

“Khalila?” he called out.

Just then, she entered the bedroom.

“Querida!” He rose to greet her with a quick embrace and a dry kiss. “What a wonderful surprise.”

“The day’s commitments finished early,” Khalila grinned. “Though we won’t discuss what that means for tomorrow’s agenda.” She sighed and drew her fingertip down his jawline. “I hope your excitement to see me means you might have some energy to expend my way?”

Dario gasped and groaned, grabbing Khalila into his arms and giving her a fierce kiss.

“If I still draw breath,” he said, “my flesh will still ache to pour itself into your every desire.”

“That is a delightful answer,” she said. “Because I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything, beloved.”

Anything?” Her eyebrow quirked.

“Anything you desire,” he repeated in a devoted whisper.

“Then you must trust me now,” she grinned wickedly, “and not ask questions.”

“Wh-” Dario gasped, unprepared. “What’s going on?”

“My love, that’s a question. Trust me now.”

Khalila stopped to take him in again, humming in pleasure at whatever thoughts had crossed her mind, and then she ran her finger over his lips.

“Put your stockings and garters on for me,” Khalila said. “And then, you must join me in the drawing room, where I will be waiting.”

Dario inhaled the proposition like it was heady perfume. “Of course, my flower.”

She pulled away slowly, hands lingering on him, smile quirked in something she wasn’t telling him yet. And then she left.

Dario felt like showing off, so he put on his most revealing lace underwear -- the ones that only barely covered his cock when erect, and slipped between his cheeks to hug his ass just right. He also donned Khalila’s preferred silk stockings for him, with a subtle floral pattern in the inky black. He fastened them with his narrowest garter belt. More skin to peek through -- he knew how good black looked against his skin tone, especially when he’d had himself sugared smooth and bare so recently.

He really wasn’t certain whether she wanted him in the robe or not. Made of black silk, it ended at his lower thigh, just covering his hips and groin.

He decided to carry the robe in his hand. It might come in handy later.

As he entered the drawing room downstairs, his heart raced in anticipation.

“I have packaged myself properly, madonna, and I’m ready for-”

Khalila wasn’t alone in the drawing room. 

Dario stopped cold, and stared at Jess sitting on the other end of the couch from her.

This was unheard of. Unprecedented.

Jess had his legs crossed wide, an ankle sitting on top of a knee. Arms spread across the back of the couch. A big smile on his face.

_ He knew I would be joining them like this. He thinks he has the upper hand. _

Humiliation and arousal fought inside him.

_ I will not be aroused by Jess Brightwell, I will not. _

“Darling,” Khalila said, getting up and approaching him.

Dario spun partway around and face away from Jess, and Khalila. For an instant he fought _ not _to put on the robe in his hand… but his need to not be so exposed in front of a fully-clothed Jess quickly won out, and he donned the silk wrap. He was very aware that his stockinged legs still showed, though at least his crotch and ass weren’t on display anymore.

My beloved,” Khalila whispered. “Let me show you off to just one single person. I promise that’s all that will happen tonight, and we can discuss the rest later.”

“It’s not just any person, Khalila, it’s Jess,” he hissed.

“I know, my darling, that’s why I did this.” She took his face into her hands. “It’s Jess.”

He fought hard not to understand what she meant. _ She can’t think there’s anything here. _

“Just let him see you,” she said. “Nothing else will happen tonight.”

“I don’t want to,” he said through clenched teeth.

“I don’t believe that. And I’m not asking.”

Dario swallowed hard, and his jaw tightened painfully.

“What am I supposed to do?” he choked out.

“Sit next to him and show him your lingerie.”

“For how long?”

“Dario, don’t be inhospitable. He’s our guest. Share of yourself for as long as he would like to see.”

Dario snorted, and bit his lip. 

“Give Jess what he wants. That’s my order?”

“Give Jess a look at you, graciously,” Khalila said firmly. “That’s your order.”

He forced himself to square his shoulders and look back at Jess.

Jess had clasped his hands in his lap, and his legs were now more folded than broadly crossed. He had a middle distant gaze toward the carpet, until he felt Dario’s eyes on him. Then he looked up at him, softly.

Dario crossed to him, and took the seat next to him on the couch. He left his robe wrapped tight, and mirrored Jess’ body language.

“Those stockings look… comfortable,” Jess said.

Dario snorted and looked away. _ If he’s going to make this intolerable, what the hell am I supposed to do? _

“Dario, I didn’t mean it that way,” he said softly. “I’m not teasing you. I…”

Jess sighed.

“Most fancy-looking underthings, they just... all look uncomfortable to me.”

“Jess,” Khalila chuckled as she took a seat on the other side of Dario. That meant she was right in Dario’s current eyeline, and she didn’t miss a chance to give him a gently chiding look.

“It’s true,” Jess continued. “Are you going to tell me corsets are comfortable?”

“Corsets aren’t for comfort, you idiot,” Dario retorted.

“Then what are they for?” Jess asked.

“They’re for creating a silhouette,” Dario said, as if it weren’t obvious. “Or for shoving yourself into something tight and cinching, just for the hell of it. Or both.”

“Alright,” Jess said. Dario could hear his smile without looking at him. “Well, my point was… those stockings look like they would… feel good. Against skin.”

At that, the tension in Dario’s back lessened, just a bit. _ ‘That looks comfortable’ is how Jess flirts. Unsurprising. _

Dario very suddenly wasn’t in the mood for subtlety. He was doing a shit job following Khalila’s order - a reality confirmed by glancing her way and seeing her expression - so it was time to act.

Without looking at Jess, Dario softly spun himself toward him, and lifted his top leg enough to rest his calf on Jess’ knee.

Jess sat still for the space of a breath. Then he reached a hand out to stroke the silk at Dario’s calf. Jess liked it enough to circle his hand around a few times, not yet reaching Dario’s knee.

Dario made an effort not to betray any response he had. Jess had never touched him with affection outside their very careful, platonic hugs, and something fluttered deep inside him at his touch now.

Then Jess slowly circled his hand around Dario’s knee, inching tantalizingly up his thigh with each circle. 

“I was right,” Jess said quietly, finally pulling his hand further up Dario’s inner thigh. "Feels good." He stopped, about halfway up, and then pulled his hand away. Dario felt Jess turn and stare at his face though.

Dario didn’t return the gaze.

“The stockings feel like…” Dario didn’t mean his voice to be that hoarse. He cleared his throat and shrugged. “Whispers of velvet, they’re barely there.”

Dario pulled his leg back, repositioned himself just a bit, and flung back one flap of his robe, to show off the front strap of his garters, on the thigh closer to Jess. He kept his groin covered.

“Garter belts,” Dario pointed, “are another kind of… pleasant pressure. Like corsets can be.”

Jess hummed affirmatively, as though he understood. Dario finally looked at him. 

Jess had his hands folded back in his lap, and was very gently leaned in toward him, comported like a perfect, attentive gentleman... except that the look in his eyes made Dario think Jess was working very hard not to throw him down on the floor and rut him like an animal.

Dario focused on keeping his breathing steady. "With garter belts, the sensation is more dynamic. Shifts against the thigh when you move."

He threw open his robe first, shrugged it off, and left it on the couch as he stood up.

At first Dario stayed in place... back softly straight, arms relaxed at his sides. Like this, Jess could see how his barely-there lace and garters framed his ass, and after a few moments, he shifted his weight first to one foot and then the other, and listened to Jess’ breathing shift as he watched.

By then, Dario’s cock was straining against the narrow cradle provided by the underwear, and he turned to take a step and stand facing Jess.

Jess immediately leaned forward, elbows on knees, eyes darting around the narrow field of vision directly in front of him. He put another hand on Dario’s stockings, and slid it - almost chastely - up the outside of his thigh, his thumb tracing the strap of the garter.

Dario bent a knee and moved to straddle Jess.

“Dario, keep to your order,” Khalila spoke firmly.

Dario turned to her, stunned, and blinked.

“You and I can discuss this afterwards,” she said.

Somehow - he didn’t know how - Dario froze where he was, and didn’t climb into Jess’ lap. He just stood in front of him, breathing as steadily as he could manage.

Jess looked up and met Dario’s eye, not bothering to hide any of his hunger. 

Then Jess licked his lips.

Dario couldn’t take that. He couldn’t take what was crashing up in waves inside of him, threatening to drown them all. He closed his eyes, took a step back.

If his orders_ didn’t _ include fucking Jess right then and there, then the only way he’d follow them was to leave.

So he did. He spun and walked away. He walked, and found their bedroom, closed the door, and tried not to rip the place apart from one wall to the other.

About ten minutes later, Khalila finally opened the bedroom door and shut it behind her. She was alone. Dario sat unmoving on the bed, still in his lingerie.

“Did you send him home?” Dario asked through clenched teeth.

“Yes,” she said calmly.

“Khalila.” Dario struggled for words, struggled to breathe. “So you enjoy torturing me, is that our new game?”

“It was not intended as torture.”

“Then what the hell did you intend to have happen, Khalila? What was the plan? Was this it? Because this was humiliating and excruciating, and… I had no idea you had desires to abuse me so cruelly.”

“Dario, had I come to you and asked you about your desire for Jess, what would you have said?”

“I would have told you you were mad.”

“Precisely. I needed you to acknowledge this. Truly acknowledge it… quite preferably without you two falling into some immediate, regretful situation. Would you rather I waited until you both ended up drunk somewhere and did something you were ashamed to ever tell me about? So I’m the fool for not knowing, and you eat at yourself with guilt?”

The thought horrified him. That she would think him capable of such a thing horrified him. Worst of all, the feeling that such a thing was absolutely inevitable - had felt that way for months now - horrified him. He leapt off the bed and paced over to a dressing table to clutch its edges in his hands, and tried not to sweep it clean of its contents in a crash. 

“Now you’ve faced it,” Khalila said, calmly. “You’ve stood next to each other filled from head to head with lust, and you’ve walked away. You can cool yourselves off and make your next choices from some other emotions than shock and shame.”

“My beloved wife,” Dario said, fighting back angry tears. “What choice would you have me make? Nothing in this world is half so important to me as you.”

“Dario, it’s Jess,” she said.

“You keep saying that!” He turned to face her. “‘It’s Jess!’ like that explains anything at all about what I am supposed to _ do_!”

“Dario, your devotion to me is unquestionable. But have you considered what outward form of devotion I’m truly asking for?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Dario breathed, leaning back against the dressing table so hard he nearly slumped into it.

Khalila arose and met him there. One touch of her hand and his cock was rigid and leaking again.

“Look,” she said. “A glance and a touch from Jess does _ this _to you, and that has no bearing on your love for me.”

She yanked his lace down and out of her way, and gripped his shaft roughly.

“Five minutes of Jess looking at you, and you were ready to climb into his lap like a pet dog. What did you wish-”

“Khalila, please!”

“What did you wish for him to do? Tell me.” 

She’d leaned in, to spit her commands into the heat Dario was pressing out of his lungs.

“Tell me now, what you wanted from him. Every detail of it.”

“Khalila!”

“Tell me, that’s an order.” She pressed hard against the base of his shaft, dampening all the heat she’d been stirring up in him and holding it there. 

Dario grunted. “I... wanted to crawl into his lap and stay there until he bit my neck,” he whined. “I wanted him to press me into the floor and shove that no-doubt very talented cock into my ass until I couldn’t see straight. I…”

He panted.

“Tell me, Dario. All of it.”

Dario leaned in and whispered. “I wanted your hand on my hair while he hurt me.”

Khalila released the tension she’d held inside him, and pressed her body in close to his as she stroked hard and fast. Dario fought back tears as he wrapped his arms around her and screamed into her shoulder, while she pulled a long, desperate, ragged orgasm out of him. 

His legs would have buckled if she weren’t holding him up against the dressing table; as it was, he trembled and panted and felt drained down to his bones.

“Now we’re clear,” Khalila said, a quiet contentment in her voice. She brushed his damp hair away from face, and smiled.

“I don’t understand in the slightest,” he said.

“No, of course not,” she said. “That’s why we stop here. And take some time. And get some rest. Let’s go to bed.”

Lightheaded and weak, he followed her back to bed, fumbled his way out of his scant clothing and gratefully curled up naked next to her.


	7. Pegging (prompt #13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess loses a bet to Katja, and must submit to her desires. He’s not sure whether he lost on purpose or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter include dubious consent/blanket consent, pegging, anal fingering, anal penetration, wooden dildos, showering, shower sex, sex wager, power exchange, handjobs, and dirty talk.
> 
> This chapter involves one character giving explicit blanket consent to another character for unspecified sexual activity. (This chapter is *not* endorsement of this activity or concept! IRL consent can be revoked at any time.)

Jess supposed he was about due to get himself this far in over his head again. 

The loss of his first major, high profile deal for the Library was ego-bruising enough. Deciding to immediately drown his sorrows at Katja’s choice of bar in the middle of the day was - in retrospect - not a part of his best series of choices. 

“Double or nothing,” he said, following her out of the bar.

Katja cackled. “You couldn’t survive twice what you’re paying me for this lost wager. I told you you wouldn't win. Certainly not while drinking, not against me.”

Jess should have known better. He’d never been very skilled at card games, and Anit’s right-hand woman would be no slouch at them.

“I used to be better at darts than that,” he quipped.

His poor excuse for a joke earned him only the slightest sideways acknowledgement.

"Come on," she said, stepping into the street and hailing a passing carriage for let. 

"Come on where?" he said, his voice more brittle than he intended. His chest ached with anger -- mostly at blowing the bigger deal, he thought. This little bad wager was just a bit of salt on that wound.

Katja’s eyes steeled over, just a bit. "My place, for the prize I just won,” she said with a quiet seriousness. “Which - in case the shock of losing has dislodged from your memory - is your company. For an hour. Doing whatever I damn well please to you."

Jess swallowed. This afternoon had definitely been one of his less sensible courses of action. He had agreed to one hour of sexual activity with Katja, with little restriction on her choices of activity. He had no idea what she had in mind for him.

"I can't do it now," he said, with as mild a face as he could manage.

"That's not the deal, Brightwell." She opened the door of the transport.

"The deal did not specify a time frame on completion of services, and I cannot do it now."

"Get in the carriage, before I decide to throw you in the carriage.”

“You owe me something as well, in case you’ve forgotten.” Maybe reminding her of her own unwise marker - still in play - might save him some pain. "We have unfinished business between your thighs, that you agreed to, and I’m not this rude demanding it from you.”

Katja laughed a gravely laugh. “Yes, I’ve noticed both how lazy you are at getting people to pay on their deals with you, and how little interest you seem to have in me. Neither is a reason for you not to follow my orders right now.”

“Why would you want to play with me if you truly imagined I thought so little of you?”

“I don’t care what you think of me. I didn’t win you for your feelings.”

She cast a cold, hungry glance down his body and looked back up at him with an uncaring smile.

“Well, I’m savoring the fact that you owe me a debt. Why are you in such a rush to get paid, anyway?” he said.

“Because I don’t trust you. Get in the goddamn carriage, you fucking starched-robe.”

"I have a meeting."

"Your friend is the Archivist, have it canceled."

"It’s a meeting with my friend the Archivist, and she doesn’t cancel meetings. She just makes decisions without the other parties present. About things like your boss’ bookshop.”

Katja sighed irritably. “When's the meeting?”

When Jess didn’t have an immediate answer, Katja’s face got grumpier.

“It’s in two hours,” Jess sighed, “but I havent-"

"No.” She hopped down off the carriage and squared up to him. “That leaves plenty of time for my hour if you'll stop fussing like a coward and get in the goddamn carriage."

Jess’ heart raced… from worry or arousal, he couldn't immediately tell.

"Katja, I haven’t prepared-"

"That's your problem, not mine. This is your last warning before the next hour of your life gets even more unpleasant."

She gave that a moment to sink in. 

Katja then positioned herself to escort him into the carriage, and slapped him on the ass as he finally shifted towards the vehicle.

_ Well, _ he thought.  _ I did make a deal. _

  
  
  


Jess could feel her eyes on him in the carriage. 

They rode in complete silence -- the crackling kind of silence, shot through with anticipation and longing. Jess kept staring out the window. Better a distant look, he thought, than to look too hungry too fast. But he could feel her gaze boring into him, and a part of him tried to read her mind and guess what she would subject him to.

He felt only a hint of movement from her before she had a grip on his face, and yanked it to face her. They were close enough to feel the warmth of each others’ breath, and Katja’s eyes were quietly confrontational. She didn’t want him to forget she was in control.

This close he could smell the faint memory of whiskey, and her lingering scent of cinnamon and iron. He could see the soft feathering of the short sweep of her hair, and he wondered how it would feel tangled in his fingers. Jess wanted to pull at her hair, at her clothes. He wanted to bite, growl, take, subdue, wrest. Someday, he’d feel her skin under his teeth again, and he wouldn’t be so kind this time. But the taking would be sweeter for this task of relenting, too. The winning meant nothing if there wasn’t the possibility of losing. And she was stronger than he was; he’d need to outmaneuver her at least a little to earn her compliance. The look in her eyes right now was simply one more step in their struggle for the upper hand. Jess didn’t know where that would take him, but he wanted to find out. 

Jess leaned in just a hair, and closed his eyes softly, offering her his vulnerability for the length of a breath. When he opened his eyes again, she was smiling. It was mostly a cold smile, but he could see the shine of something else behind it.

  
  
  


Jess followed Katja into her house. They walked past the security guards that being Anit’s lieutenant garnered her, and then they were in her private rooms in a protected area in the back. 

Jess had a special fondness for the sitting room with her library in it... not that he’d spent too much time there. But it was where Katja and Anit had first invited him to watch their amorous activities, inaugurating his recent sex research. For that, he was very thankful.

Katja abruptly turned to face him.

“Take your clothes off,” she said, standing and watching.

Jess took a heartbeat or two to take in the demand. She got impatient quickly.

“Unless you're the kind of man who shirks out on his wagers,” she added. “Which I’m starting to wonder about.”

“You know I’m not.”

“Do I really know that?” she asked, jaw tight.

“I made a deal,” Jess said, his voice somewhere between defensive and conciliatory.

Only a bit hesitantly, he slipped his jacket off and folded it cleanly over a chair. Then he reached for his shirt buttons.

“You want to tell me what you'll be doing to me?” he asked.

“I really and truly do not,” Katja said, smiling. She folded her arms.

Jess didn’t suppress his smile… though he felt a bit like he was playing with fire, to show any enjoyment of her demands. He wasn’t sure that wouldn’t push her to remove the smile. This level of risk was, he began to consider, perhaps why he’d made an ill-advised bet this afternoon.

He stripped down, not really putting on much of a show. Jess knew he was a good lay by now, and he’d lost any whiff of gangliness he once had about him. But he didn’t really have the kind of body he thought one should show off. He’d once been described by a lover as “pale, but with a pleasant enough shape,” which he thought was fair, and probably the best he could aim for... as far as any assessments made before they moved on to skill-based work, anyway. That sort of assessment, he intended to be another matter entirely. 

Katja watched carefully, expressionless, as he stripped himself nude. Jess found her choice unnerving, as he still couldn’t read what tone this activity was heading into. Was it some straightforward sex act? Something new to him? Something challenging? Would he be tied up? Would anyone else be involved? There was no way to know so far. He only knew that Katja would control it. And while he’d remained just on the edge of pleasant anticipation all the way over, this new coldness from her was tilting him closer to raw nerves.

Suddenly she turned, opened the nearby door to the lavatory, and ushered him inside.

“Get cleaned up,” she said, pointing toward a simple but elegant shower stall.

_ Well, that’s just flat out rude, _ he thought.  _ I just showered this morning. _ He hadn’t noticed her having any oddness around cleanliness before.

He decided to keep his observations to himself, and simply shrugged at the unexpected turn as casually as he could manage. “Your choice what to do with your time. I’ll just follow my instructions. For an hour.”

“Good choice,” she said, eyeing him up and down. She gave his behind one last lingering look of satisfaction, and then walked away, leaving through the door Jess thought led to a bedroom.

He got the hot water going, stepped into the shower, and began using the soap he found.  _ I guess I should pay special attention to all the things you’d want clean when your lover has provided no guidance whatsoever as to what you’ll be doing. _

Just as he began devoting attention to his tasks, the curtain fluttered, nearly startling him.

Katja stepped into the shower with him. 

She was, of course, nude -- completely and straightforwardly nude. No blindfold on him; no teasing flutter of a robe, nor any other distractions. Her beauty was stunning, and like nothing he’d seen before. Stripes of various sunkissed tans, pale hair and glistening thin fuzz. Long, dense muscles built for enduring power. Those hips and thighs that looked made for throwing around enemies and lovers alike. Gracefully solid arms. Dense, slender breasts and a neck that looked deliciously tender.

Jess smiled, feeling greedy.

“Ohh, is this what we’re doing?” he said. “Alright, then.”

He licked his lips and moved in toward her, half-soaped, and reached to draw her into a slippery embrace.

“This is one thing we’re doing,” she said, matter-of-factly putting a firm hand to his chest and stopping the hug. “Turn around.”

He blinked, shook his head, and turned in place so his back faced her. 

“This is the strangest date I’ve ever had,” Jess said.

She pushed him gently to a wall while she moved the showerhead, so the water fell on him while he leaned. The flash of the cold wall against his skin dropped him right back out of thinking he had any handle on the situation at all. He now felt a vague level of threat that was more than a little arousing.

“This isn’t a date,” she replied. “But you’re doing just fine, it that helps.” 

Her voice had softened, and felt deeply warm, and familiar. It reminded him that he did trust her - mostly - even when she was obviously working to keep him off-balance. Katja had gotten more soap into her hand, and massaged it into his shoulders, and then his upper arms. She used a firm pressure, and Jess found the whole thing simultaneously relaxing and a bit unsettling, somewhere deep down where he wasn’t sure he minded.

“Do you want my help on any of your parts?” he offered helpfully.

“No, this is about you,” she said, soaping down either side of his spine, and his lower back.

He let himself lean more thoroughly, hands on the wall. Her strokes felt like rough caresses. His breathing deepened, and he enjoyed the water sluicing around her arms and down his back and she worked.

She put a closed fist to both of his ass cheeks, and expertly gave the muscles there a gentle knead. He felt himself relax more.

The first sweep of her fingers up the crease between his cheeks felt like more of same caresses. Her second sweep was firmer, and Jess felt an uptick both in arousal and nervousness.

With the third, she found his entrypoint, and pressed around it in a circle, firmly. He realized it felt good before he even took in what her attention might mean.

“Katja…”

“You just relax, baby,” she purred into his ear, brushing the fingertips of her other hand across the nape of his neck. “It's all gonna feel good.”

It did feel good.

“What are you preparing me for?” he asked, his heart fluttering.

“What I won from you.” He could hear the smile on her lips.

He felt her finger slip inside with ease. It was already in by the time he moved to brace himself, hands flat against the wall. It took no effort on her part to slip inside, and yet Jess gasped at the sensation like he was fighting it. As though it was overwhelming.

_ Is it? _ He thought.  _ I can’t tell yet. Try it some more. _

She’d paused what she was doing for a moment, while he’d shifted his position. Now as he settled just a fraction, Katja started moving her finger again… or were there two? He wasn’t sure. 

“Oh, baby, look at that, you’re so eager,” Katja said, her other hand still stroking the back of his head. 

The slight burn of the tissue stretching in an unfamiliar way shifted into the slight burn of soap where soap usually didn’t end up. Jess was quite sure there were more than two fingers in him now. He didn’t know how to ask what was going on or what was coming. He just knew he wanted more.

“Have you had anything up here before?” she asked.

Telling the truth now felt like the most stupidly vulnerable thing he could do. But he shook his head anyway.

“Nothing to say?” she chuckled. “No complaints? No jokes?”

“I... made a deal,” he breathed, then inhaled sharply on a particularly deep stroke of her fingers. “I made a deal,” he repeated.

“Mhm,” she said. “Well, it’s a pity you’re not enjoying this at all.”

“...what makes you…”

She abruptly pulled out and away then. He ached, his backside feeling cold even as hot water landed all over him.

“Rinse off, dry off, come to my bedroom,” she said. “Now.”

She’d grabbed a towel and left the bathroom before he even registered what was going on. Then Jess realized he was shaking with anticipation.

By the time he’d dried off and finally entered the bedroom, she faced away from him, doing something with an item on the nightstand next to the bed.

_ More books in here. Must look later. _

From the back, Jess saw she had black straps across her hips, and around the creases between her ass and thighs. Her ass was magnificent, round and powerful and contributing to some now very complex reasons for his erection.

“Squeaky clean,” he said. “And as prepared as I’ll get.”

When she turned, the first thing he saw was a delicious darkness in her smile.

The second thing he saw was the erect rod strapped to the front of her pelvis -- a dark, varnished wooden phallus carved skillfully, with contours that included veins and a realistic head. 

It struck Jess first what a beautiful picture it was, the warm tones of the dark wood looking especially good against the softly brown skin of her pelvis. And then he wondered - with no small bit of fear and yearning - what the cock felt like when inserted.

“Face down on the bed,” Katja instructed.

At that, Jess was suddenly gasping like he’d just run miles. He wanted to move faster to get onto the bed, but his limbs felt heavy and clumsy with tremors. He felt hot and cold all over, and desperately craved some kind of release.

Finally, he was on his stomach on the mattress, shivering more as he tried to prepare himself. 

Jess was deeply startled by the reaction he was having. This was a rather ordinary sex act, he thought. One more penetration much like the rest. It was already on the short list of things he thought he should try. He hadn’t yet in his life experienced a particularly strong drive to do it, but he thought that might be because he couldn’t really imagine what the act would even feel like. For that reason alone, he should certainly try it. It was something he presumed at least one of two loved ones of his would recommend from personal experience, though he wasn’t sure. And he didn’t particularly want to think about that too long right now.

Now here he was… somehow aching and yearning for this. For Katja, in particular, to slide that wood in and thrust.

On cue, Katja was on top of him, pressing her weight evenly across Jess’ body, her wood temporarily just tapping loose between his thighs. He could feel the softness of her breasts against his back, the thick cords of her thighs pressing up against his. Right in his line of vision, near his shoulder -- a glistening, graceful, chiseled arm holding her up.

His sudden desire to wrestle with her - to press against her until one of them relented, spent - was nearly blinding in its intensity. Here she was, though, pressing him into acquiescence. His role was to accept, for now. He was definitely outmaneuvered.

Katja caught his earlobe in her ear and bit it, harder than Jess was expecting. He was nervous and aroused enough that he didn’t manage to hide his yelp.

“Do you give piercings too?” Jess said, a bit hysterically.

Katja laughed at his joke, and he could feel her belly vibrate against his back. That only made him harder. 

“Okay, sugar, first step’s the hardest,” she said. “Just take a breath and hold on.”

Jess huffed out a laugh. “Alright, I am now very disturbed at how arousing that statement is.”

“You have issues, Brightwell. Hold still. Stay as relaxed as you can.”

Jess focused on relaxing muscles he’d never paid the slightest bit of attention to before, while he felt Katja’s pressure against his sphincter build and build. Then he felt her shift, right as he felt a short, sharp sting, over before it began. And then there was firm, tight pressure somewhere he’d never thought could possibly feel that good.

Jess heard himself grunt.

“Oh, you were ready for it, weren’t you?” Katja whispered in his ear. “That was easy. You’re a natural.”

Then she was pressing further in.

“Katja-” he gasped.

“You’re good, there you go. Take it, baby.”

“Fuck.”

“Yes, indeed.”

He was engulfed in sensation from head to toe, and ravenously craving more. She wasn’t far enough in.

“Fuck!”

“Does it hurt?” she asked.

“Yes. But it’s good.”

“You dont like pain, Jess,” she said earnestly. “I could already tell that.”

“No, it's not pain, it just… Katja, please keep going till it stops hurting.”

“Hang on, baby.”

Jess stayed as unmoving as he could, trembling. Katja reached carefully for something, while keeping remarkably still inside him, then pulled partway out and pushed back in again. And then all the burn was gone, and everything was good and rich and intoxicating and Jess spun out on a kind of high he'd never felt before.

“Fuck, what was that?” he groaned.

“Lubricant,” she said, pulling back out.

“Fuck yes. Jesus Christ.” Jess was pretty sure he’d slipped into English to say that.

“You were waiting for this,” she chuckled again, pushing in and out slowly. “All the Gods. Have you been fantasizing about it? About somebody pinning you down and fucking you?”

Jess moaned.

“Look at you, just ready to take it the second someone pins you down.”

“Katja, more!”

“More dirty talk?”

“More full, more.”

She stopped where she was and grabbed hold of his hair, tightly.

“Do you think you’re in a position to make demands here?” she said.

Jess grunted out his frustration.

“What do you want for filling me up?” he demanded. “Do it. Everything you’ve got. Come on, Katja.”

“What I want is for you to say ‘please’.”

He bristled, but it was a fair price.

“Please, Katja,” he said sincerely, trying to let his bare hunger show in his voice. “Please fill me up.”

Katja let go of his hair.

“Get your knees up under you,” she said.

Feeling numb with intense sensation, Jess slowly shifted up to all fours, Katja moving with him. The transition was imperfect, and not always pleasant. But at one point, there was a pressure that made Jess think he’d come right then and there. 

As Katja started her hip motions up again, Jess felt a coolness inside - he thought perhaps she’d added more lubricant - and then she felt her way into a faster rhythm, thrusting in and out. 

“Alright,” she said, grunting herself. “Stay there, Jess. Brace yourself and stay right there, baby, no matter what. I got something I need to do.”

She sighed, and moaned, and picked up the pace faster.

And Jess lost his mind.

He heard himself moaning, but had never felt so little control over the sounds he was making. A glittering euphoria surged up and down his spine as she moved, and he was as hard as he could remember being in a long time.

Time passed slowly, and Jess get lost in bliss, vaguely hearing Katja’s unguarded growling get louder and turn to groans. Her pace quickened even more, and Jess found himself groping for the headboard to brace himself against her force… though he still had no desire to complain. 

After a particularly sharp set of groans, Katja gave a long shudder and then slumped a bit, still and quiet against him. 

Jess remained still. Her collapsed against him was delicious and he didn’t want to move yet.

He also felt so disoriented, he wasn’t at all sure the best way to get himself off.

Katja solved his problem when she shifted into a sturdier stance, reached around with a hand she’d made delectably slippery, and stroked his cock maybe a dozen times before he was coming hard and fast all over the sheets.

When he was done, Jess collapsed gracelessly, weak much more quickly than he’d anticipated. Somewhere along the way, Katja had known precisely when to pull out. They now lay side by side, a casual warmth where they brushed up against each other.

“Dear… God,” he finally said.

“Uh-hunh,” she replied.

“That was…” An aftershock of his orgasm hit and Jess couldn’t speak for an instant.

“Uh-hunh.”

She curled onto her back and caught her breath, while absentmindedly reaching for fasteners on her straps.

“Debt paid,” Katja decreed.

Jess wasn’t surprised. But he was confused about one part.

“You came,” he said.

She laughed. “Yes, I did.”

“Did you have something inside you?” Jess felt a bit lost. Again.

She shook her head, lifted the harness and showed him the inside surface of the structure that pressed against her pelvis. There was a ridge below where the phallus sat.

“That pressed against my clit, when I thrust into you. Fun for both of us.”

“That’s enough to orgasm?”

“That’s what most orgasms come from, when you come with my equipment.”

“Penetration isn’t necessary for coming?” he reasoned out.

“Not for most of us, though it can feel very good.” She gave him a strange look. “Are you taking notes again?” 

Jess furrowed his brow. “Of course I am. I’m on a rigorous course of study here. Catch up, Katja.”

She laughed, one that resonated up in her nose. A kind of a giggle.

“Speaking of observation and research,” he said. “Did you know you growled?”

“Yes,” she answered. “Did you know you did the same?”

“What?”

“You did.”

“Interesting.”

She gave him an odd smile he wasn’t entirely certain he understood.

“You should go,” she said. “Presuming you really do have that meeting.”

“I really do. Alright, I can do this.”

Jess rolled off the edge of the bed and got himself up to standing, slowly.

“I would think former High Garda could move faster than that,” she said.

“I never said I was any good at it,” he said, realizing that he was a bit sore. “Am… am I going to be able to sit down?”

Katja cackled. “I wasn’t that hard on you; that’s not an area that’s fun to injure. The better question is, will you very clearly notice when you are sitting down and when you are not? Probably. I expect you’ll have a little reminder during your meeting.”

“Meeting, right. Yes.” He felt that he was missing something, for a meeting. “My clothes…” he said.

“Are in the other room,” she said. She made no effort to get up. 

Jess decided it was entirely up to him to go get his clothes, dress and leave.

“Right. I’ll go, then.” He smiled at her, then fumbled for the door.

When he reached it, and had opened it, he looked back at her on the bed.... Somehow still a vision of lurid strength, even when fatigued.

“Do you realize,” he said. “With everything else we’ve done now, we haven’t kissed on the lips?”

“I had realized,” she said, in an oddly gentle voice.

“Is that intentional?” he asked.

“On my part?” she asked. “Not really.”

Jess blinked. He wasn’t aware of intentionally withholding kisses. Had he? Well, now wasn’t the time to analyze that, or change it. But it did give him an idea.

“Our other arrangement,” he said, pausing to look as authoritative as he could, while naked and with no doubt a glassy-eyed countenance.

“Yes?” Katja asked.

“Tomorrow night,” he said. “The Pit. I call the shots.”

Katja smiled. “Deal.”


	8. Fucking Machine (#14)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess finally holds Katja to her agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter-specific tags include fucking machine, bondage, bondage furniture, oral sex, fellatio, rough fellatio, face-fucking, slapping, impact play, breast play, biting, sadism, dubious consent/blanket consent and public sex.
> 
> This chapter involves one character giving blanket consent to another for unspecified sexual activity. (This story is not an endorsement of this concept! IRL - and honestly in this story as well - consent can be revoked at any time.)

Jess couldn’t name what he was feeling, but there was a lot of it.

He could certainly identify the lust. Tonight’s plans sparked a deep, surging desire in him, rivaling any of his darkest, most lurid fantasies. He was grateful he’d worn tight pants tonight, if only to keep his raging hard-on from tenting out so far it announced him before he entered a room. 

He felt the gratifying satisfaction of anticipating the situation, too. For all he let Katja think she’d rushed him into this activity, he’d started plans in motion as soon as Katja had agreed to something more than Anit’s cunnilingus game allowed. Jess knew very well what he wanted. 

But he also found some wariness inside him too, and Jess couldn’t quite put his finger on why. The wariness, and his uncertainty about it, both prickled his sense of possible danger. It could be the tools of restraint being employed later, and his lack of positive connotations with those. He hoped this evening would shift those associations. 

The wariness could also stem from his motives for the night… a kind of cruelty and danger that he’d thoroughly examined in himself of late, and that he’d just have to live with. He’d always known he couldn’t entirely be trusted. He’d balked all this time now at embracing that fact under sexual circumstances… sexual villainy being harder to face than the regular kind, he supposed. 

_ Maybe I’m more like Brendan than I ever realized, _ he thought. All he knew was, something inside of him was ready to claw its way out. Tonight he was ready to let it.

Jess felt the comforting weight of Thomas’ machine in his hand, loaned to him for the night with the promise that he’d give Thomas some detailed notes on its use… a plan that reminded Jess just how odd his life had become, that he was giving report of his sex life to Thomas for scientific purposes.

Jess also had other arrangements he’d already made with Tiny, a regular at the Pit. So as he saw Tiny in the lobby of the club/converted boardinghouse, they merely nodded, and Jess continued up the stairs to the floor he wanted. The Pit didn’t have the most luxurious arrangements in every one of its rooms. So Jess had greased a palm to get a corner room with windows on two walls. The view would be crap, but the cross breeze would be a great boon… to their hydration levels, if nothing else.

He’d already informed Katja which hallway they’d use, and she was there waiting, leaned against a wall and casually ignoring another regular - Jess thought his name was Alexei - clearly trying to chat her up.

She was wearing a clingy knit shirt with the top buttons undone. He could just see the top of her breastbone, and her thick nipples dug into her shirt. She’d trimmed her hair since yesterday, the snake more prominent now under a flop of blond hair that she’d clearly not bothered to style.

_ She left her hair disheveled, but very deliberately picked a shirt she knew I’d like. _

As his path to the room brought him closer to her, Jess willed his appetite to shine through as coldly as he could imagine. Then he brushed past her and carried his items to the assigned room.

Jess dropped his bag and his tripod first, roughly where he wanted them to be, as Katja stood in the doorway taking in the room. This floor of the building had the usual peeling wallpaper and scrupulously clean corners of the rest of the place, but no mattresses. Instead, various assistive pieces of furniture floated from room to room. 

Jess only needed what Tiny would be bringing shortly, so the room was currently short on clues for Katja as to what they’d be doing. 

“Open windows,” Katja mused. “You know me. We’ll worry the neighbors.”

“The neighbors are rats and dope fiends,” Jess replied. “They’ll be alright.”

For the time being, Jess sat the machine down on a table nearby, and purposely stayed close to it, fiddling unnessarily. He wanted to watch Katja as she took it in. Katja came close, but kept a studied casualness to her face, perusing the machine like it was a book she was considering purchasing. 

“Doesn’t look too impressive,” she said. “Certainly not sexy. What do you plan to do with this?”

Abruptly, Jess grabbed her hair tightly, twisting her head to the side and down in a submissive position before she absorbed what he was doing.

“I plan to do whatever I want to,” he said calmly in her ear.

She didn’t respond, but stood quietly. They stayed there several moments, while he enjoyed having her looking deferent under his hand.

He thought for a moment of standing that way until she said something, until she responded somehow. It was an appealing thought that would never work. That wasn’t near enough of what it would take to get under her skin.  _ But, _ Jess thought,  _ I’m willing to find out what that might be. _

He let go of her hair, and Katja remained exactly in place, except for lifting up her head and meeting his gaze with a steely look.

“Take your clothes off,” Jess said, uncaringly.

She stood there a moment, grinned, and slowly reached for her buttons. 

Katja was ready to make a show of it, slowly unbuttoning the last button at the neck of her shirt, and flexing to peel the fabric off of her breasts. Jess didn’t make a secret of watching while she stripped. Instead, as soon as he had access, he reached out and began coarsely fondling a breast.

She paused there, possibly startled, shirt still around her neck. Jess decided then and there to withhold affection, though not desire. So he stood there, getting no closer and offering no caress beyond the rough grip of his hand. 

Katja untangled her sculpted arms from her shirt and tossed it into a corner. She didn’t get in his way, but didn’t accommodate him much either… a tension she managed with her hands on her hips and a cold look in her eye.

When she reached to unfasten her trousers, Jess pulled away and watched her hands brush a belly that appeared soft at a glance, but was clearly made of iron underneath. Her trousers - with nothing underneath - had been painted onto long, tanned, meaty thighs. And between her thighs, the round, smooth slit that he’d only gotten a short taste of so far.

Everything she was revealing was begging to be bitten. 

Remembering how unbalanced it felt to be naked himself in front of her clothed form, Jess stepped in close just as soon as her trousers joined her shirt in the corner. No intentional touch, just some thoughtless brushes of loose corners of his clothes against her skin.

They were close enough to kiss. And Jess decided not to.

“Close your eyes and stand there,” he said.

“Excuse me?” Katja replied. “Who’s guarding me while I do that?”

“I am,” he said.

“This isn’t your bedroom and these aren’t friends wandering the halls,” she replied. “You better take your guard duties seriously. Anyone could walk in here.”

“Shut your mouth. Close your eyes. And stand there.”

Katja searched his eyes, and seemed to find enough of what she wanted after the span of a breath. She closed her eyes and stood right where she was.

Jess backed away, watching her, and realized it was deeply thrilling to do so. To have trust placed in him - especially from someone who knew so little about him - was intoxicating. What was it? Her vulnerability? Why was he imagining ways he could violate that trust? Which of those violations would she enjoy, he found himself wondering.

Jess knew he had only a little time to spare -- the item he needed next would arrive any moment. So, he leaned against the door frame, watching her. Letting himself imagine anything he wanted to do to her. Jess was glad he was watching because a minute later, when there was a knock on the doorframe, Katja flinched for a split second. She then caught herself and resumed a seemingly relaxed stance. But Jess had seen the flash of fear across her face, and enjoyed it.

Jess opened the curtain at the doorway, and saw that the knock came from Tiny. Tiny was carrying a piece of furniture he called the horse, and when he sat it down, Jess nodded a thank you and rolled it into the place. Tiny helped Jess lock the wheels. Then he gave Jess a slap on the back, and left.

“Is that the spanking bench?” Katja said, keeping her eyes closed. She might sound unaffected to most but Jess caught a strain of tension in her voice. 

Jess didn’t answer, but instead examined what he had to work with. 

The horse vaguely resembled the spanking bench, in that someone could be bent over it and restrained. But the bench was hard wood, and really only had one position one could be placed in… essentially on all fours. The horse was covered in padding, and had a slightly different shape that allowed for the option of its occupant lying on their back instead, arms and legs gently dropped down either side and supported there. There were cuffs and tie points handily provided to emphasize the position, of course.

Katja was still obeying - eyes still closed - but did let out a barely audible exhalation at Jess’ quiet.

“You can open your eyes,” Jess offered her.

Katja did, and her eyes widened a moment.

“Tiny finished the horse,” she said, her smile slightly unhinged. “Are we the first to try it, then?”

“We are,” Jess said. “Lay down on your back.”

Katja’s eyes had dropped down to the cuffs attached to the legs, and lifted her gaze up to examine him again. This would be their first use of bondage. And while they hadn’t discussed using restraints, it also wasn’t on the very short list of activities they’d explicitly forbade of each other.

This was a decision for Katja to make right here and now. Jess’ part, now that he’d made the offer, was to embody somebody worthy of her continuing to negotiate with. Jess decided the way to do that, rather than show the slightest bit of deference, was to step close into her personal space again, look her in the eye, and quietly imagine every single thing he wanted to do to her.

That was the right answer, it seemed. The faintest hint of a dimple shadowed her cheek, and she stepped around him toward the horse.

Katja climbed up on it, first her bare ass pressed against the black leather, and then her bare back curving itself down to meet the padding. She shifted into position with an undulation of her shoulders, which sent a ripple of movement through her breasts.

Jess adjusted his now very tight trousers again, and came around toward her head. He found himself putting a hand on her forehead, and didn’t mind the choice. He had little intention of showing much kindness, but handing yourself over to someone like this wasn’t easy.

Katja received the pressure of his hand. She drew a steady breath in - mostly calm with some grit at the edges - and let it out slowly.

Jess put one hand on each of her shoulders for an instant, then reached down and briskly fastened a cuff first to one wrist, then the other.

At that, Katja drew another, sharper breath in through her nostrils and blew it out. She dropped her legs down to be fastened the same way.

Jess couldn’t imagine being more aroused than he was in that moment.

He swept around and fastened her ankles as well, and stared at her.

“Look at my prize,” he said, smugly.

“I am not your prize,” she replied. “Do what you’re going to do and be done with it.”

Jess laughed. “Oh is that how this is going to go?” 

“Fuck you,” Katja said.

Jess giggled, and roughly shoved a hand between Katja’s thighs. She admirably kept from expressing any reaction at all, besides a flutter of stomach muscle. But Jess had slipped four fingers inside without using any pressure at all. When he brought his hand back out, he lifted it up, admired the extensive coating of slick fluid, and showed it to her.

Jess brought it to his lips, stared her down and sucked his own fingers dry. Her jaw was stone, but her eyes were looking hungry.

He reached for the metal ball he’d brought and showed it to her.

“I presume you know how to use this,” he asked, putting it in her hand.

“Yes. If I drop it, you die,” she said.

"Close enough," he said. “Do you want a cease code?”

“No. If I want you to stop, you’ll know it from your wounds.”

“Big talk from someone strapped down to a piece of furniture,” he said, licking his lips again.

“Come closer," she said in a terrifyingly calm voice. "Find out how helpless I am.”

Jess sucked an excited breath in between his teeth. If Katja wanted to play, it was time to play.

He unfastened his own trousers and let loose his cock… no small relief after the strain it had been under. He walked back to her head and loomed close enough that she could turn her face and lick his erect cock, if she chose.

But Katja wasn’t feeling that much initiative, apparently. She remained staring at the ceiling. Whether she realized she was licking her lips while she did it, Jess couldn’t really tell.

Jess put a hand to her opposite cheek, but instead of pressing her face in toward him, he hauled back and slapped her.

She didn’t flinch, though if he listened very closely, her breathing had shifted ever so slightly toward a heavier, more amorous pace.

He put that same hand to a breast, fondled it, savoring its weight under his hand, then pulled back and slapped her there too.

She didn’t respond. 

Jess carefully leaned over and without touching anywhere else, put each hand on a breast, taking his time enjoying the feel, the texture, the visceral pleasure of her flesh under his, with her pinned down and unable to stop him. Then he squeezed them both tightly, and tested the limits of pressing them up or down off their center under his claw grip. He thought these might be the solidest he’d had under his hand. With Katja laying on her back, they shifted only slightly, anchored by so much muscle underneath.

He released his clawed grip and aimed for some of that muscle, just behind the curves, just where her arms would usually rest as she stood. 

And he brought both hands in sharply, in a broad, simultaneous open-handed strike.

Because he was looking at her face, Jess saw a flicker of a blink.

When he hit the same spot quickly again, with a stronger, glancing blow that carried partway across each breast, he earned a hitch of breath from Katja. 

He felt that sound at the base of his spine, and it radiated down his cock.

Jess stepped back immediately. If he hadn’t, he would have climbed on top of her, and he didn’t want to do that… at least, not yet. He decided he didn’t care whether his own breathing was steady, and let his lust catch in his throat.

He backed away, and headed for the machine.

Jess popped the heavy tripod open first, and positioned it to a fair height between Katja’s legs. Then he hauled Thomas’ machine onto it and fastened it securely, and went to work retrieving the pieces of the plunger from a back compartment in the machine. 

Soon metal rod was pinned to machine, and fleshy siloxane phallus secured in place on the end. Jess reached for Katja’s hips and dragged her a few inches down the horse, guiding the end of the toy into her.

When the phallus slipped inside, she sniffed and looked up with mild curiosity. Then she lay back down still.

Jess opened another side compartment, and manually turned a small lever, watching as the phallus pulled out of her a bit, then dug back in. He shifted it to its deepest point.

“How’s that depth of penetration?” he asked.

“Fine,” Katja managed in a bored voice. 

“You’ll want to be very sure of your answer on this,” Jess informed her.

“Then it’s slightly dull, come to think of it. And certainly not an impressive pacing. Too tired to fuck me yourself?”

“Oh, I’ll be fucking you too,” Jess said. “But I don’t have the self-importance to think I could keep up with this.”

He flipped the main switch on the machine. It began churning the phallus in and out of her so fast, Jess couldn’t keep track. It was faster than any human could. 

Katja could not keep any measure of decorum once the machine was running. She tensed immediately, eyes wide, mouth open, head flung up to get another look at what was doing this. Holding her breath, she yanked at every cuff simultaneously and threw her head forward and back. Finally she let out a loud, hollering grunt.

Jess noticed, though, that she hadn’t moved herself away from the plunger, though she had the room to do so. 

The next step of her absorption of the experience was a breathless, jagged writhing of her pelvis… side to side, and with a twisting motion, but again she didn’t pull herself off the phallus to any degree discernable to Jess. She stared unseeing at the ceiling.

Finally, Katja started taking full, labored breaths again, possibly now convinced that Jess wasn’t harming her. And she looked his way. Mouth agape and sucking in air, she gave him a nod, and a small cock of her eyebrow.

“Congratulations on surprising me,” she breathed.

“You’re welcome,” he said with a smile. “Now. What sort of sensation can we get up to while that works, I wonder?”

Katja let out a sort of desperate laugh at that, and seemed to be contemplating testing her restraints again. Jess came close and put a hand to her belly. 

He had a sudden craving to touch her everywhere, to have his hands on every inch of her flesh, to feel her heat warming his hands. And, since Katja was handily tied down and couldn’t move away, Jess did just that. He groped as he pleased - at her flank, and her hip - and he caught the side of her ass that he could squeeze. With every stroke of the machine, he could feel the rhythm of the engine powering through her. He took it as a challenge to pull her out of her now rhythmic little moans that matched the overwhelming thrusting between her legs. He reached for her breasts again and enjoyed them more. He circled her nipples first with his thumbs, then with his tongue, and finally he used his teeth on them. He let his bites wander around her chest and up to her neck… not quite as hard as he wanted to, not yet. But enough to require her to respond to his attentions with grunts and gasps.

When Jess was done amusing himself like that, he wandered down to her groin. The phallus was still secure and doing its job, but that still left the front of her mound open and available. Jess reached down to her clit and found it wet.

“Fuck!” she said at the touch. “Oh, goddamnit Brightwell, fuck you!”

“Is that a no?” he smiled.

“I didn’t say that, did I?” she insisted, her speaking rhythm a bit strange and strangled under the relenting press of the machine’s thrusts. She let out a sudden groan, several beats long. “I just need you to know... that you can go fuck yourself.”

“Not a no, then. Good.”

Jess leaned in and carefully put a tongue in her slit, just underneath where he knew she was most sensitive.  _ Indirect pressure, most of the time _ , she had instructed before.

Up and down for him, side to side for her, Jess thought he might be flicking his tongue at a pace that matched the pounding of the machine. 

Katja wasn’t complaining. At least he didn’t think she was. Instead, she had arched back in a ragged, growling scream. 

Jess kept his tongue working, waiting for an end to her screaming… which he thought the considerate thing to do. When she didn’t stop, he realized she might not come down from this climax if the sensations continued, and he wasn’t entirely sure she was capable of telling him that.

So, eventually, he pulled back. She stopped the screams right away and gasped air back in her lungs.

“Fuck!” she finally managed. “Fuck all the Gods!”

“Hm,” Jess said. “Maybe not a bad name for the machine. Fucking All the Gods.”

As soon as Katja had enough breath for it, she went slack on the bench. Now glistening with sweat, she still wasn’t pulling herself off the phallus. But Jess thought a break might still be in order.

He switched off the machine, and circled around to get close to her head to talk. As he did, he realized the doorway curtain had been pulled, and they had gathered as large a crowd of people as could fit in to see. All of them were wide-eyed and slack-jawed, with a few of them smiling and possibly drooling to various degrees.

Jess was smiling as he leaned over and smoothed Katja’s hair away from her forehead.

“Check in,” he said, as coldly as he could manage at the moment. He didn’t think it was terribly cold.

“Mmm,” she moaned. With soft eyes, she looked up at him. 

“Fuck you,” she said, only a little roughly.

Jess felt a thrill of cold lust pour through him.

“That’s enough of that,” he said. He thrust a thumb into her mouth to pry it open. Then he twisted her head to line up with his cock and brusquely shoved himself as far down her throat as he could get.

The wet warmth of her mouth sent something exquisite ricocheting throughout his body. He was far enough in that she couldn’t do much but hold her breath… but he stayed there, embracing the fact that he could please himself. 

Jess did a few deep thrusts, until his chest felt cold and a bit tight, and then he pulled back. As soon as the head of his cock was back into her mouth, she took hold of it with a remarkable force and sucked, hard, even as she struggled to get enough air through her nostrils. She was sucking hard enough that Jess would have had to make more effort than he cared to if he’d wanted to extricate himself. So he let her struggle to keep hold, and took a long moment to squeeze a breast that was handy. This time he dug his fingers in further, testing just how deep he could sink them before her suck faltered, just a moment. Then he let go and struck the same place. He felt the blow reverberate through hm both directions, and he let himself just sway a moment, as she poured attention onto his cock. 

Jess eventually took her head back into his hands and thrust into her mouth of his own accord, several times. But he didn’t want to come yet. And he didn’t want her to be done coming either.

Jess wanted to feel the machine rhythm reverberating through him - through her - as he came.

He pulled out and darted around, flipping the switch again. Katja’s renewed moans were almost sobs, and he rejoined her where he could dip back into her mouth.

This time, instead of a side entry, he grabbed her head and slid it directly back, watching the tender skin of her throat as he slipped in again. He wasn’t sure which of the vibrations he felt was the machine itself, and how much was Katja’s sobbing sort of grunts. 

Jess pushed in only partway, and as she picked back up on her full force sucking, he reached a hand to her clit and began circling.

Her screams had to work their way around his cock this time, and Jess worked hard not to come -- it just seemed excessively rude to spill anything into her mouth when she was this thoroughly occupied. But soon the screams hit a pitch that sounded a little too strangled for Jess’ comfort. Rather than pull out, he removed his hand from her clit.

He straightened himself back up - noticing again, while he did, that she hadn’t moved away to lessen the depths of the thrusts from the machine at all - and waited, standing there, cock gently in her mouth while she caught her breath.

He half-expected her to spit him out, but instead she resumed an intense pressure on him.

Jess let himself double over in pleasure again. This time, he got his mouth to a breast, sinking his teeth in and clamping down right as his orgasm started. 

Her hard work on his cock flickered only a second before she resumed just as firmly as before, and Jess let himself lose control long enough to fill her throat, letting loose a long groan of his own.

When he was done, Jess rested his forehead on her stomach. The clenching of abdominal muscles that Katja had going on quietly surprised him, and he pulled his cock out of her mouth in case she needed more breath. 

Then he reached for her clit on more time, because her screams were really beautiful… raw-throated incantations of her very obviously enjoying herself in a wild, visceral way.

When she seemed to work harder to get air in than to let sound out, he decided she’d had enough. Jess shut the machine off again, and this time pulled it away, out of her.

He did a quick inspection of the machine, and then of Katja, gently running a hand down her slit, and slipping three fingers in. There was a long slick of pleasure down the side of the horse. Jess would have to help clean that, he thought to himself with a smile.

Katja needed tending first, though. With everything apparently in order between her legs, he leaned down and unhooked her ankle cuffs. Then he came back around to her head and stroked her scalp. Her face was slack and her eyes closed and fluttering.

“Check in, Katja,” he said.

Katja swallowed, and opened unfocused eyes.

“Fuck you, baby,” she whispered.

Jess nodded and smiled, and crouched to unfasten her wrists.

“You’re unbound,” he said. “Do you want help up?”

“No,” she said firmly, pulling her arms up stiffly.

Jess waited while Katja sniffed and breathed and slowly sat up. When she got one leg over the horse and slid down to touch toes to floor, Jess stood close enough to be a brace… and when he wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her from dropping any further, she let him. Though she didn’t lean.

Katja nodded. 

“Your friend has a gift for inventions,” she slurred.

“Yes, he does.”

“No word on whether I’ll be able to walk tomorrow,” she laughed a tired, genuine laugh.

“Any pain now?” he asked.

Katja shook her head, “nothing that ain’t good.”

“Sit down with me over here,” he said. He had blankets waiting in one of corners further away from the doorway… though the curtain had dropped back down, he noticed. Pit culture appeared to offer players their privacy when it was time to recover. 

Katja sat crosslegged. Jess mimicked her position, facing her, a few inches between their knees. 

He handed her a canteen of water, and he watched her a while.

Her eyes remained unfocused for a length of time that surprised him. Just like closing her eyes earlier, she was trusting him to guard her while she took some time to come back from whatever helpless bliss she visited. Jess didn’t take that lightly.

After she’d drunk half the canteen, she handed it to him, focused on him, and nodded.

“You’re an interesting one,” she said.

“Me?” Jess was taken aback, and amused. “Why?”

“Not sure yet,” she replied. “Need more information.”

“Well,” he said, taking a sip himself. “Let me know when you figure it out. I could use the help.”

She nodded in a vaguely dismissive sort of way, looked around for her clothes, and got up to get them with only a little clumsiness.

“You done already?” he asked, surprised again.

“I don’t need much,” she said, dressing quickly. “I’ll wander around and watch a little.”

She hesitated, and came back close to him. 

“Make sure I get into a carriage home later?” she said, too low for anyone else to hear.

Jess nodded, and handed her the canteen. Katja took it and emptied it. She handed it back to Jess with a wink, and walked away.


	9. Hairpulling (#15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wolfe has his own way of keeping an eye on Jess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter-specific tags include hair pulling, bondage, fellatio, nonconsensual voyeurism, sensation play, flogging, brief trauma response, and sex with a stranger.
> 
> This chapter has Wolfe observing Jess' sex life without Jess' (or his partner's) consent. They do not discover the deception.

The message Chris had been anticipating for weeks hummed on his Codex just as he settled into a book, with a post-supper glass of wine. Luckily, his Codex was never far away these days. He had too many people he was responsible for.

“Nic,” he called out, as soon as he absorbed the contents of the communique. Before Chris had made it across the room to his shoes, Nic was coming from the kitchen.

“Everything alright?” Nic asked, a dish towel still in his hand.

“Jess is at Fanny Hill House, preparing for something,” Chris replied, stepping into his shoes and lacing them up.

Nic nodded and began drying his hands. “One of your spies reported in?”

“Yes. They’ll delay them as far as they can without being suspicious.”

“And you’re certain this is the course of action you want to take?” he said, with a slight wary gentleness. “Privacy is usually more of a priority for you than this.”

“You know I don’t relish intruding,” Chris said with a frown, smoothing his shirt to put a jacket over it. “But Jess still warrants some attention paid to his safety… at least far enough to be certain that his own decisions can be trusted right now.”

Nic’s jaw set with a decision made, and with a nod he tossed the towel back into the kitchen and headed for his own boots. 

“Then I’m coming, too.”

  
  
  


It was a testament to their long connections in nearly every private sex club on Library premises that an infamous Scholar - and a Curator - got inside a club known for its lack of pretension and subterfuge without most of the evening’s party participants knowing about it.

But then, Chris had assumed that if Jess played anywhere on the campus, it would be Fanny Hill, for that same lack of pretension and protocol. Several Scholars of various ranks and prestige levels had formed the core of the house membership, but they found harsh social ranks distasteful enough that membership was open to all who worked for the Library. So many High Garda were regulars, alongside support staff and librarians. A solid fit for Jess’ rank and temperament, which is why Chris had focused his attention there in positioning informants and planning entrances and exits for them. Fanny Hill, as luck would have it, had just recently installed one-way glass into two of its play rooms… an invention so recent that most didn’t know about it. Chris had used Nic’s favor and power to have them wait to debut their prize publicly until it could be used for this purpose. 

It was another action Chris was taking without any pride for it. But Jess’ safety was worth it.

So it was that Nic and Chris found themselves being escorted through an unassuming side door into the mock Victorian mansion, and brought to a small room off a larger room. Most of the wall between the rooms was a panel of glass that provided a remarkably unobstructed view of the space next door - a space nearly empty, but for a tall, rectangular frame of thick wood, covered in tie points and cuffs, ready to restrain someone any number of ways. The treated glass between the rooms bestowed only a slight dimming of everything, but was otherwise unobtrusive as a presence. 

And on the other side of the glass, Jess stood with Katja, both fully clothed and talking quietly. Chris had met the woman only once, in what was an intensely dangerous and memorable encounter. She had saved lives, and insulted a fair few Scholars. Chris thought he might like her just a bit. So long as she didn’t prove an entirely unsuitable play partner for Jess.

“You’re certain they can’t see us?” Nic said in his smallest whisper.

Chris nodded. “No visual information should pass through from this side, but we’ll keep the light low here to be certain. It should look like a mirror to them. Though we’ll want to keep our voices down. Sound will travel through this glass just as easily as through any other glass of this thickness.” Chris looked up at the open door to the larger room, and saw an audience gathering. “The crowds around should mask us somewhat,” he added.

As they watched, Jess began removing his shirt. He was gaining back the weight he’d lost, again, most recently through his lung troubles. It seemed every time Chris happened on him in some state of undress, he was less a child, and more of an adult. He had thicker hair down the center of his chest, and his arms were gaining definition. Chris wondered if he might be pursuing some athletic training these days. He’d be sure to contact Glain about her own opportunities to keep an eye on Jess.

Then Jess started stepping out of his trousers and underwear. Chris averted his gaze and pursed his lips together, rather than sigh aloud in exasperation. He didn’t like doing this, but he liked the alternative even less. 

As Jess disrobed entirely, Chris busied himself visually examining this Katja person as she interacted with Jess. She was strong, stronger than Jess. She could overpower Jess easily, Chris suspected, and yet Jess had pursued repeated activity with her, or so Thomas informed them. Is that wisdom on Jess’ part? A shrewd read of her? Or self-destructive impulses? Chris wondered.

Her eyes were bright and alert, at least, and she had an air of authority and confidence about her. He wondered idly if smugglers took some sort of formal class in looking like you knew exactly what you were doing, even when you didn’t have any idea. It was certainly a skill he knew Jess had. 

She also clearly enjoyed having Jess now entirely nude, and some whispers ran through the crowd in their doorway.

“Well, then,” Nic said under his breath, no doubt echoing the onlookers. 

“Had you not caught him with his trousers down, then?” Chris asked.

“No, I missed that,” Nic mused. “I can see why he’s getting so popular, though.”

“Indeed,” Chris said. 

Katja grabbed Jess’ face from underneath his jaw, squeezing hard enough that he opened his mouth, and Jess stuck his tongue out. First he pointed it down, then up, then down again. It took Chris an instant to realize the intention behind this part of the ritual; he was being searched before being tied up. When Jess lifted his tongue back up to replace it in his mouth, he swiped it up rather suggestively along the way.

In response, Katja kept eye contact and patted down his naked form, back and sides, crouching down to inspect his feet, and pressing a hand roughly and thoroughly between his legs on the way up.

“I’m not that kind of smuggler,” Jess told her, voice thick with humor.

“You trying to tell me you’ve never put anything up there?” she asked him with a grin.

“No comment,” Jess replied, stoically.

Chris heard a little huff of a chuckle at that from Nic.

After a few more moments of flirtatious eye contact between Jess and Katja, Chris wondered just how bad this idea of his was.

But then Katja pulled a blindfold from her pocket, and put it on Jess. She then pressed Jess back toward the apparatus behind him. And no matter how uncomfortable he got, Chris was then determined to stay.

Katja crouched down again, and this time she attached cuffs to Jess’ ankles. The cuffs bound him, standing up, within the front archway of the box frame. His feet stood flat against the floor, not far from the pillar of wood on either side of him. 

Katja reached up and fastened waiting cuffs to Jess’ wrists too. Chris thought it possible that she considered Jess’ recent lung trouble when she chose where to fasten his wrists. While attached to the frame, his arms spread softly out to the side, his hands resting about level with his neck… broad enough to keep his chest open, but not spread so far as to stretch his breathing muscles tightly. 

_ It’s possible she thought that through. Or it’s a coincidence. Mustn’t take her bitter sense of humor as a sign of more character strength than I’ve actually seen. _

As the last cuff was fastened, and Jess realized his hands and feet were bound, his demeanor quickly changed. The rattle of metal fasteners rang through the room as he made quick, sharp movements, clearly intending to break them if he could. He tested the range of motion of each limb, none of it very far. He yanked and pried and twisted with much of his strength -- occasionally coming to a still point momentarily, but not for a second relaxed.

Finally, with another short round of tugging, Jess seemed to have exhausted every move that he thought might free him.

It wasn’t Nic’s way of settling into bondage… nor his own. But Chris deeply understood the impulse. And he had seen it in others… a certainty that escape was impossible being a prerequisite to calming the mind.

Katja calmly and quietly let him struggle, and waited until he was done before proceeding to touch him. She’d seen such an outburst too, he suspected, and trusted it. Another point in her favor in Chris’ assessment of her.

When Jess was done trying to escape, he drew in a breath - tight and shallow at first - and let it go. Some of the tension seemed to drain out of him. His jaw looked somewhat looser from here, his shoulders fairly relaxed.

At that point, Katja raised both hands to his head and sunk her fingers slowly into his hair. 

It was an intimate position… Jess in all his vulnerability, Katja’s arms on either side of his head like an embrace, slinking her hands through his hair this way and that. Jess was already leaning into her hands as they moved, moaning softly as she stroked his head.

And then she slowly, dramatically, got fistfuls of hair and squeezed her hands shut to hold them tight.

At that, Jess’ breathing took on more weight -- a steady, audible breath. From the ease with which she bent his neck around, he’d clearly given over control of his head to her.

Chris felt a shiver of something not unpleasant surge through him. That level of handing over control could be intoxicating, he knew. Jess had little movement available to him right now that Katja didn’t control.

And pulling his hair was, it would seem, a way to shift his state of mind. His breathing kept slow and steady and his whole body relaxed further. 

And not only was it relaxing for Jess, it was apparently arousing as well. During one particular tug where Katja flexed her arm muscles to dip his head down to the side, Jess finally got what looked to be entirely hard.

Chris had had the good fortune of not stumbling into Jess in this state before... and were the boy not family - and his responsibility - Chris wouldn’t be thinking of him as a boy right at this moment. There were stronger murmurs from the onlookers this time, including one enthusiastic “Hello, sailor!” greeting.

“Way to go, Jess,” Nic said, with mild admiration. “His social schedule should be as full as he ever wants it to be.”

Katja whispered something into Jess’ ear, and he gave a small grin, his cheeks getting pink enough to stand out, even partially obscured by the blindfold. She returned to a tighter, silent grip, and watched his face carefully and she pulled him slowly, this way and that.

Then Katja slowly let go, and crossed to a bag. Jess’ head stayed where she’d left it - elevated, centered, still. Jess’ jaw and forehead were softening from their usual state, just a fraction.

She came back with a thick leather flogger, built Florentine-style. A suitable choice either to get his attention or to put him further under, Chris thought.

Katja made contact again, first with a hand on his arm. She swept it down to his chest, then replaced it with the flogger, rubbing it, handle and all, softly across his skin.

“She’s making decent choices for a trance session,” Nic said quietly, echoing Chris’ assessments.

“So far, yes.” Was Jess not interested in affliction-based or endurance challenges? That surprised Chris a bit, but Chris would be glad not to have to endure watching that himself.

Katja then pulled the handle into her hand and swung softly at first, letting gravity drop the falls onto his skin. After doing so across the whole of his chest, she moved around to his back. When she had peppered that skin with the softest touch the flogger was capable of, she slowly built up the strength of her strikes.

She was being patient, this Katja person, increasing the pacing and force of the strokes incrementally. Eventually she had a pace that allowed for full strokes, and then she firmed up her grip and put strength behind it, until Chris could see the reverberation of each stroke down each of Jess’ limbs. Katja addressed his back, the back of his legs, and carefully worked parts of his chest, painting all the areas several times over with the sweeping flourishes. 

Jess looked content, though perhaps less affected than he had been by the hairpulling.

After some time had passed, Katja brought her work intensity back down smoothly.

Jess looked calm and relaxed as Katja walked her flogger back to her work station, perhaps to trade out supplies.

But then Jess cleared his throat. Then he coughed once. Then he only partially pulled in a choked breath, and fell into heavy dry coughing, soon doubling over as best he could while bound.

To her credit, Katja immediately and calmly came to his side. She put a hand on his back first, observing. When Jess continued to cough, she put her ear to his chest… an action that somewhat eased Chris’ growing tension. 

Whatever she heard, Katja responded by starting a quiet conversation with Jess, who began to get a somewhat frantic control over his coughing… it wasn’t stopping, but his focus on communicating with Katja seem to ease his breathing. Soon Jess was nodding toward his clothes.

Chris found himself holding his breath and leaning his ear toward the glass, to catch any strain of their conversation. He heard only a fragment of a longer sentence from Katja. 

“I'm not going to...” 

And then just a small part of Jess’ staccato reply.

“... it's not…”

Katja then left Jess' side, and before Chris realized that he'd shifted his own weight to move, Nic was speaking to him.

"Easy, Chris," Nic said. "Give her a chance to handle this."

Katja had gone to Jess' trousers and was rummaging through the pockets. She pulled something out and inspected it. It was some sort of small vial. Then she carefully twisted a top off of it and smelled it.

She returned to Jess, tipped some of the vials contents onto her finger, then pressed the substance onto the pulse points of his carotid arteries and swiped the rest under his nose.

_ If that's an inhaled drug, they’ve both taken it now. _

Chris didn't quite think that hypothesis accurate though, and after a moment he realized Jess wasn't coughing as much. Chris didn't get the sense that a medication had time to make a difference. It was the scent that did the work, he thought. The scent helped, the conversation helped. Katja probably heard his lungs were in fair shape and came to the same conclusion Chris was reaching: Jess had relaxed, and then found himself briefly overwhelmed with a distressing memory. Chris hadn’t forgotten how most of Jess’ bad memories had associated odors. He must address their resurfacing with contrasting scents. Clever.

Nic raised his head as though he caught the scent. “Is that rosemary?” he asked.

Chris couldn’t tell; he didn’t smell anything.

Jess looked to be sturdier now. Katja had taken her hands off of him, but stayed close, and occasionally verbally engaged with him. Jess mostly nodded.

Katja turned around and perused the crowd at the door. True to Fanny Hill style, it was an eclectic group of Library staff of all stripes. Katja pointed to someone and beckoned them over - a broad-shouldered, bearded person who looked about 30 years old. Chris thought they might be an assistant of someone of rather high rank, but couldn’t place them.

Katja pulled away from Jess only long enough to give brief instructions to her new assistant. Then she turned back to Jess, and placidly put her fingers back in Jess’ hair. His coughing was receding fast.

As she carded her hands through with more and more firmness, Jess’ jaw finally started relaxing again… tightening up again only briefly, as he felt Katja’s new assistant make contact with his thighs, and then his cock. 

An instant later, Jess was on board again, with all six bodily extensions off of his torso now being held firmly in place. And Chris watched as Jess started to settle, in ways he wasn’t sure he’d seen in the boy before. Something was loosened in him… some piece of repose that one didn’t see in him ordinarily. Others might read it as peaceful, but Chris knew too much about where Jess kept his pain. It wasn’t peace. However, Chris considered, it may be something akin to tranquility.

Katja held his head with no room for Jess to choose how to hold it. She didn't move it jarringly tho. Her goal wasn't to show who was in charge… not at the moment, at least. She gently stretched his neck and swayed his head rhythmically, just as rhythmically as she'd used the flogger.

And Jess was making more and more ecstatic sounds… though how much of that ecstasy was the buzz he clearly got from the hairpulling and how much was ministrations of Katja's assistant working his cock, Chris couldn't be sure.

After several quiet minutes of this, Jess gave an unguarded, open-throated moan. Katja loosened her grip and Jess arched back and shook a bit.

Chris kept his attention above Jess' waist as much as possible, but the assistant on his cock was clearly picking up their speed, and then showed signs of handling an orgasm from Jess.

"There we go," Katja said with a smile. "First one of the night."

Katja stepped away from Jess then, though Chris noticed her cue her assistant to keep touching him. 

She went to her supplies and came back quickly with mittens she was donning.

Built for providing sensation, not for practical use, the mittens were made from some sort of dark fur. Katja laid them on Jess' clavicles, then smoothed them all over his torso as his breathing resumed a calm, deep ease.

"They're keeping it all quite low risk," Nic said with his tone of practiced patience. 

"This time, so far." Chris offered up the qualifications calmly. "Yes, they are."

In response, Nic's voice got careful. "I didn't get the impression, in any of the arguments the children are having, that you begrudged Jess doing this sort of thing."

"I don't," Chris said, emphatically. "I don't begrudge it in the slightest. But I know the risks of this path… and I know Jess Brightwell's record on risk assessment." Chris shot Nic a quick sideways look. "I will grant you, it is a record that has carried him through what’s been demanded of him… which is a great deal, and from a very young age, but…"

Chris trailed off to see Katja traded the mittens for a stiff-bristled brush that she carefully pushed through Jess' hair.

Chris sighed, and tried to gather his scattered thoughts. 

"It's peacetime, Nic,” he sighed. “Relatively speaking. The children haven't known that experience for two full years. I'm not sure Jess ever has."

Jess moaned as Katja worked the brush skillfully around his blindfold, the simple sensation causing him tiny shivers of delight that Chris could see even through the dim glass, with part of Jess’ face covered.

"If it's true for them, my love," Nic offered, "It's true for us as well. It's worth asking how vigilant we need be with them right now."

"Yes, but  _ Jess _ , Nic? Who’s lost the most of all of them?" Chris felt his chest catch, and he looked at his lover. Nic looked back with a soft compassion.

But Nic's point was sinking in. Everyone in the family had their opinions of Jess right now… opinions and expectations. With reasons for each that didn't always directly stem from Jess' own needs. Chris surely had his own expectations as well.

Chris cut his eyes back toward Jess, and quickly flicked away as Katja dipped her mouth toward his nipple, the brush in her hand now traveling all over his back and chest.

_ He's having a good time. A frivolous time, in fact.  _ Chris thought.  _ That’s probably a good thing for him. _

Just as Chris looked up again, Katja had pulled her hand out of her own trousers, and now she traced those fingers across Jess' lips. 

Jess tasted it, and suddenly shook the frame that held him, just for an instant. Still in a half-trance, he leaned sluggishly toward where Katja had stood one moment ago, but couldn't reach near far enough.

Katja signalled her assistant again, and Jess began another orgasm.

Whatever other thoughts were scattered across Chris' awareness, they halted a moment while he watched Katja, curious. This time, she was watching Jess' cock carefully. When the assistant signalled to her, she turned to the crowd at the door and spoke firmly. 

"And mark!"

Nic chuckled, catching on faster than Chris, who shouldn't have been so slow. By the time he caught on, the assistant was stroking Jess' cock while Katja watched.

Jess leaned with oblivious fatigue above them, until Katja stood and whispered in his ear. That made him smile.

"There," the assistant at Jess’ cock said. “Time!”

When the assistant turned around, Chris caught a flash of Jess completely hard again.

Someone called out from the crowd. “Seventeen seconds!" And a small round of applause began.

"You’ve got to be kidding me," Nic mumbled under his breath.

Chris finally let himself laugh quietly. "You’re not far off from that, love," he teased.

"Don't patronize me, you jackass," Nic said with a barely concealed smile. "I’ve been nowhere near 17 seconds for...”

Chris grinned at him.

"A good six months now," Nic continued. "And we can leave any time now, if I haven't made that clear."

Chris kept his smirk to himself, under the circumstances. Or at least he tried to.

Katja began another round of hair pulling, this time to bare Jess' neck for long, lingering bites that he responded to quite positively. Jess looked, and sounded, profoundly intoxicated, and while his breath was ragged, it was still strong enough not to worry.

Katja exchanged a glance with her assistant, and then leaned in for another bite. The combination of the two sent Jess over the edge one more time. Jess was getting louder with each one. While hearing the sound didn’t make Chris comfortable in the slightest, a part of him relished knowing that Jess was at least getting some ecstatic experience out of all this.

As Jess’ groans died back down, Katja sent her assistant away, and whispered in Jess’ ear again. 

Then she left one last time for her supply stash and came back with a blanket she dropped on the floor behind Jess. With that in place, she began untying him. 

It didn’t surprise Chris that Jess insisted on keeping his feet as the restraints came off. When his hands were free, Jess took the blindfold off himself. He stood there a moment, nodding at Katja, who nodded back, as though they both registered he was free, and capable of standing. 

Then, with a smile, Katja took one forefinger and pressed on Jess’ chest. In response, Jess dropped himself in a wobbly but controlled fall into the blanket behind him.

Chris could feel Nic look at him… and indeed, Chris was making efforts to extract himself from the situation mentally. 

“Recovery is just as important as the rest of the scene, Nic,” Chris said, putting up one last defense. 

“Yes, and she’s clearly gotten a good start on it,” Nic replied, gently but firmly. “Sitting and observing him, hydrating him. Look at his smile.”

Chris had already seen Jess’ current grin… one of his that resembled his brother’s. Not quite a false one. More just a guileful one. But then, Jess had of late been naked and intensely vulnerable in front of a handsome lover. Chris couldn’t begrudge the boy some guise of flirting now.

Chris could feel Nic’s eyes observing him, as he watched Jess.

“Jess has chosen a skilled play partner,” Nic continued. “Let them have this, love.”

Chris turned to Nic, who was now offering a hand to take. Chris suddenly felt a shiver, and reached for Nic’s warm touch.

Yes, Katja had clearly been adequate enough as a supervisor that Jess came through unscathed. Perhaps he was making some competent decisions about his sex life these days. Chris dearly wished he could make Jess’ path easier in this regard. But there was no amelioration he could provide himself, at least not now. As more than one of their little family had said to one another recently, Jess had to find his own way to live in his own skin right now. He was the only one who knew the way. And when he needed help, they would be there. They would simply all keep watch, and make sure he didn’t sink too low when he finally, truly toppled.

_ He is at least finding himself a fair number of orgasms on this path. There are far worse coping skills, _ Chris thought, as he let Nic lead him back out the private side door.


	10. Shotgunning (prompt #19)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess and Dario share a cigarette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter are... smoking and shotgunning (sharing smoke).
> 
> **Hop forward in time: this story takes place about a year after the battle in the Coliseum, and a week after the events of Chapter 12: Lingerie.**

Dario didn’t understand why he found Jess arousing.

Dario examined him from afar as Jess leaned against a building and smoked a cigarette, and he couldn’t find anything physically extraordinary about his friend… certainly nothing that would instantly draw as many short-term lovers as Jess had the reputation for. Nothing that would instantly set a heart racing, or a cock or cunt pulsing. Jess had never been what Dario would call handsome… still wasn’t, God love him. Frequently, Jess had been dreadfully skinny, even gangly. Now, with some adult weight on him, Jess still tended toward lanky. 

And - as had been made clear in their last encounter - Jess was terrible at flirting. Dario was deeply puzzled how the man drew so many people to his bed.

Granted, Jess’ eyes had always sparkled with cleverness. He’d always had an envious amount of skill at being a criminal. And when pressed, Dario would have to admit Jess’ cheekbones had always been excellent. Dario could only presume Jess had gained some hidden talents in bed by now. And now… well, Jess was becoming quite a powerful figure in the Library… destined for the new Curator position within the next six months, if rumor held true. He controlled a massive volume of book creation around the world. Dario supposed he had to credit some of Jess’ aggravating allure to all that, much as he didn’t care to.

He tried not to think too much about the feel of Jess’ hand on his leg that night… or at least he tried to avoid thinking about it when he wasn’t actively masturbating. He still wasn’t sure what the knot was that Khalila wanted him to untie between the two of them. She and Dario had spent the intervening week since that night arguing about what exactly existed between the two old friends, beyond a begrudging friendship and a wartime loyalty.

By Dario’s count, nearly nothing else was there… when the sun was out, anyway. 

He wasn’t exactly building a case for himself by staring at Jess from behind a tree, though. Even he had to admit to that. 

Dario resumed his professional bearing, and just happened to walk in Jess’ direction.

Dario sauntered until Jess’ gaze flickered his way, and then he had to make a concerted effort to keep his steady sauntering gait. It was the first time they’d seen each other since Jess and Khalila’s stunt, and while Jess had a calm, cool demeanor about him, there was a smoldering heat in his eyes the instant he saw Dario.

In fact, his eyes traveled up and down Dario’s body more than once before Dario was close enough for easy chatting. The day was just overcast enough that the diffuse light caught glints of Jess’ hair. 

_ He has learned a killer way to style his hair at some point _ , Dario thought. Somehow bookish and tousled and flattering all at once.  _ Must give him credit for that too. _

“You really are going to smoke on this campus?” Dario called out as he reached the far edge of conversational space. “Put irritants on your lungs, out where God and Khalila can see you?”

Jess grinned charmingly, and blew a lungful of smoke out. “You know I like living recklessly.”

Dario grinned back, then curled his lips in to moisten them with a quick dart of this tongue. If Jess was flirting, he’d flirt back. It’s not like this was something the three of them would all act on, not truly.

“The Litterae Magnus has her print request list together,” Dario said as he reached Jess. “I wanted to talk to you about it.” 

“Did you?” Jess said, taking another drag. His cigarette wasn’t just tobacco. There was something else in the scent that Dario couldn’t place right away. “What have you got?”

“Just a few additions,” Dario said. “More emphasis on early novels, a few volumes of ancient poetry. That sort of thing.”

“Additions?” Jess asked.

Dario nodded and smiled. He realized he was beginning to squint in brighter sunlight.

Jess bit his lower lip, and tilted his head evasively. He started meandering further behind the warehouse... perhaps because of the shade. Or perhaps to have fewer onlookers, Dario realized.

“If she wants more titles, that will be a decision for the Archivist to make,” Jess said. “I don’t have control over total volume.”

“I think she’s canvassing the others, looking for more slots she can fill,” Dario nodded. “But the Litterae is also willing to have you decide some titles to remove from her previous choices - according to your expertise in the project - to make room for the additions.”

Jess smiled, just as the last of the sun seemed to light on him. 

“Well,” Jess said, a bit smugly. “That’s a fair bit of trust for her to have in me. I’ll have to approach that decision thoughtfully.”

Jess inhaled from the cigarette. And then, oozing with a casual, infuriating sensuality, he pulled his cheeks and lips into a round shape and blew out a perfect circle of smoke. And then another. The rings drew Dario’s attention to the work they required of Jess’ tongue, which is exactly what Dario was intended to think about.

Dario got bothered… bothered by Jess’ easy smile. Bothered by the buzz in his own belly from the flirting. Bothered by the smell of the cigarette.

“What’s in that thing, anyway?” he complained, nodding at it.

“Tobacco,” Jess said. “laced with a few spices to make it interesting.”

“Well, I’d noticed that much,” Dario retorted. “What are the flavors?”

“Do you want a better taste?” Jess said casually. 

Then Jess put the cigarette back to his lips, and the tip glowed with his inhale. When he’d drawn in all he could, he lowered the cigarette; he lifted his chin toward Dario, without exhaling, and held his gaze. 

It was an invitation.

Dario’s thoughts stopped cold. 

Unblinking, shocked out of his irritation, Dario stepped in to close the distance between them instantly. 

That was as far as he could get, though. He tilted his head toward Jess’ lips and waited there.

Jess responded by carefully taking Dario’s face between his palms. He pressed their lips together, opened his lips, and thrust the sweet smoke into Dario’s waiting mouth with a generous exhale.

Scent overwhelmed Dario. Tobacco, cloves, some sort of citrus and… he couldn’t tell what else. Behind the cigarette flavors, he felt more than tasted Jess’ familiar, natural smell, but he couldn’t quite pull it up.

He gazed at Jess, who squinted a bit in the sun as he stared at Dario’s lips.

Dario licked at the flavor on his lips. “Do that again,” he said quietly.

Jess worked his jaw for an instant, then licked his lips and drew one last drag from the waning cigarette. He threw it away, and wrapped Dario’s head and neck with outstretched fingers.

Dario leaned in to meet his lips, pressing the air in his lungs out through his nostrils to prepare himself to take more of Jess’ breath inside of him.

This kiss lingered, with abandon, as Jess pushed his whirlwind of taste and smell into Dario’s waiting senses. Dario was buffeted first by the cigarette flavors, and he let those go. He reached past all that for Jess… for the taste of Jess. Earthy, sweet and bitter all at once. Coffee and paper and almond. And the barest hints of a salty musk underneath that Dario desperately wanted more of.

When Jess had expended what his lungs could carry, and Dario had taken all he could, Dario forced himself to take a step back. He absentmindedly touched his fingers to his mouth before he could stop himself. Feeling awkward at the gesture, he stuffed his hands in his pockets, which was no small help in tenting out his trousers to cover other bulging transgressions that he didn’t wish to admit.

“I, um…” Dario reached for something to say. Then he stopped. 

He stopped looking for excuses, or distractions. He stood there and ran his tongue over his lips one more time, savoring the lingering taste.

Then he looked at his friend, Jess. 

“I’m going to talk with the Archivist,” Dario said, meeting Jess’ eye. “She’ll probably wish to meet with you soon.”

Jess smiled. “I’d love to,” he said softly.

Dario nodded, admired Jess’ cheekbones again, and walked away.


	11. Masturbation (prompt #20)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess masturbates. That’s it, that’s the story. Mostly comfort and arousal, but with a dash of angst.
> 
> This chapter drops us back into the main timeline of this story, just a couple months out from S&P.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter include masturbating, with some sprinkles of trauma/depression management, and brief allusions to grief over someone’s death. There is also reference to another sexual encounter that included consensual nonconsent and biting. Jess also thinks about fellow postulants while masturbating, so thoughts of pseudo-incest?

Jess flopped down onto his own bed, in fresh bedclothes. Comfortable clothes after a long, steaming hot shower. That should feel good. 

_ I should feel something _ , he thought. But he didn’t feel much of anything.

He’d meant to go to the kitchen before he laid down, and make something to eat. He wasn’t sure he would do so now. The decision had probably been made… not so much from fatigue, as disinterest. 

Now Jess lay staring at the ceiling, thinking that laying still and staring at the ceiling was a terribly dangerous thing to do. His mind needed something to focus on, or the disinterest could turn to rage, or worse. And Thomas wasn’t home to pull him out of finding trouble in his own head.

Better to find some distraction.

There were his usual options for distraction, of course: the sparks of pleasure in sex, or in work. Neither sounded immediately appealing tonight. The clubs would take more effort and attention than he wanted to expend; picking someone out and negotiating sex could get exhausting. And his current looming work project was a constant uphill battle just now, making the print shop an unappealing destination. It was his day off anyway. He should have something better to do than to show up at work.

Glain had insisted Jess soon start some work with her - some physical training - to keep him sharp. But they hadn’t decided what yet, and his chest still ached at least a little most of the time, even when his breathing seemed fine. Running felt like a bad idea.

He was supposed to message someone when he needed company. They had all offered, even Khalila, which was truly absurd of her; she’d barely have the time to respond, much less stay with him. But the thought of talking to anyone right now made his head buzz in an uncomfortable way.

Jess should check on Thomas, though. If Jess was this nervous that Thomas wasn’t here to help keep him steady, the reverse would be true as well. Thomas was away on business, and wouldn’t have Jess there to be comforting presence in the house while he slept. Another heartbeat close by, to keep the demons at bay.

He should definitely contact Thomas. He should probably cheer himself up a bit first, though.

So he sunk his hand under the soft waistband of the pants he wore, and ran his fingertips up his cock a few times. And he let his mind wander that direction.

The last person he’d been with had a delicious hourglass figure, the kind you can’t get racing around the world getting yourself in battles and skirmishes. She worked at a bakery, perhaps. Or Jess had just imagined she had, with a vague smell of sugar and cinnamon about her. They’d role played, the sort of thing one used a ceasecode for. And it had been exhilarating. She was acting out all his greatest fears - that she didn’t want sex, or didn’t want him, and the blatant refusals just dissolved all his worries. No hesitation, no paralysis. No fears that she might be using him, because it was clear that she was, like he was using her. To feel good, to feel excitement, to keep each other company in that dark space inside both of them. 

He had immobilized her, and taken her, while she said her ‘no’s. And he enjoyed it... because he wasn’t a good man, not entirely. The memory of it was enough to get him rock hard again. His teeth on her neck as he thrust. He stroked himself more firmly, pulling his foreskin back and forth.

After a few minutes of recreating the memory, something was missing though. Those thoughts brought an intense charge with them, but he needed something more personal right now. 

Katja? The feel of her mouth on his cock. Her skin against his.

No, more personal than that.

_ Find another sensation. Or the promise of one.  _

He hadn’t thought of Khalila since Ptolemy House... not the sort of thoughts he pursued while he held his cock in his hand. Now he felt something in his groin start to melt as he imagined holding her, imagined those layers of clothes between them being peeled away. He imagined her thighs around his waist, her tongue in his mouth, that smooth, black hair…

That was it. Hair laying against him as they embraced. The weight of brown curls against his chest and-

_ No! Stop it now! _

Jess ripped his hand away from his cock and sucked in a breath. Every muscle was tensed now. He shook his head, saying no to… to something. 

He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. He… probably shouldn’t let himself think that way.

Most of him demanded that he not invite those thoughts. Not when he was alone. Not when he could fall in and never return.

_ No. Something else. Literally anything else. _

He tried to switch back to Katja. Familiar, but not too familiar. He felt she understood a thing or two about him, and flattered himself that he might know something about her. The easy and familiar felt good. He thought about Katja.But his brain slipped and tugged and didn’t want to sit still on Katja. 

So he switched again.

_ Fine. Khalila, again. Carefully. Think, Jess. Imagine. Would her lips be warm, or cool? Soft, or strong? What would she want to do? What would her breasts feel like in your hands? _

Khalila put her hands on his cheeks and demanded his attention as she climbed on top of him and slipped him inside of her. 

Khalila, warm and soft and lithe. Jess thought about Khalila… and his grip on his cock tightened.

In a flash, Jess thought of Thomas, too. Thomas, shirtless as he worked. Thomas, with his pale hair and broad shoulders. Thomas could easily pin him down, Jess thought… though he knew without asking that he never would. Thomas must be the softest, gentlest lover there ever was. A soft kisser too, Jess would bet. The caresses, the embraces Thomas would give a lover had to be the best in the whole world.

Jess did a few fast strokes at the thought, and then slowed down again to savor, his head fuzzy with imaginary cuddling. He thought back on Katja’s thrusts, and wondered how wonderfully that cock of Thomas’ would feel inside of him. He really should check on Thomas.

Then his thoughts flitted to Dario. Jess found it hard to imagine Dario doing anything in bed besides looking beautiful. But Jess could think of something he could give Dario to do with that mouth, with those beautiful lips.

Then, for a brief moment, Jess felt absurd. Khalila, Dario and Thomas. Were there any other family members he wanted to consider? While the topic was close at hand, Jess took an instant to wonder what Wolfe and Santi got up to. Santi was a handsome man. And... Wolfe’s hair. Jess wouldn’t mind having… well, he would eagerly run his fingers through someone  _ else’s _ similar hair. He could tell pretty quickly, though, this thought wasn’t as useful to him right now as the rest. And Glain… Glain was a dead end, he knew without trying.

No, the other three might get him there. Khalila in his hands. Dario under his thrusts. Thomas between his legs. 

_ Don’t think too hard about it, Jess. Just stroke yourself. It’s a fantasy, fuck them all at once. _

So he gave his balls one last squeeze and then started pumping his hand fast, thinking of his ridiculous fantasy. 

_ What does Khalila taste like between her legs? Yes. What about Dario’s taste? Yes, yes. How hard could I get Thomas to pound me? _

At that, Jess’ legs twitched and the slow-built tension burst forth. He rode the orgasm until he had splattered quite a bit across those fresh new bedclothes. But then, he didn’t really care.

He finally rolled over, panting, and found his Codex.

_ Hey big guy, how’s the trip going?  _ He sent the message.

The afterglow lingered more than masturbatory highs usually did.  _ Hm, maybe you should tell Khalila. And Dario. And Thomas. There’s a nice, familial conversation to have. Guess what, you three get me especially hard. _

His Codex buzzed, and he opened it to an already extensive - and excited - explanation of new technical specs that Jess couldn’t follow. He took it as a good sign, especially when a second message of equal length and Thomas-style glee followed the first one.

Now he was hungry. He got up and headed to the kitchen.


	12. Swallowing (prompt #21)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess pursues practice of his fellatio techniques through an immersion experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags include fellatio, a LOT of fellatio, stranger sex, gang bang of the oral variety, and bodily fluid mentions.

The cock in Jess’ mouth slid its foreskin back and forth against his lips, as the owner gave a breathy moan. Jess pushed through fatigue and lapped his tongue against the underside of the cock as he soaked in the sounds coming from above.

There was something about having his hands (or mouth) on someone in the throes of pleasure that thrilled Jess down to his bones. No matter how aloof or commanding they were trying to be, no matter how much or how little he knew about them, those unguarded sounds and the instants of exposed bliss on their faces were like the sun breaking through stormclouds. It was always dazzling.

Jess let the head move past his tongue and slip further down his throat, sinking onto the cock in front of him. Still managing a glimpse up, Jess watched as the person's head dropped down and their eyes flew open, wide and foggy with ecstasy. Jess gauged they were close to coming, and increased his speed accordingly.

Sure enough, their mouth gaped in arousal, they shuddered with tension, and Jess was soon swallowing a considerable amount of fluid... almond-like bitterness, mixed with a mildly sweet aftertaste.

Jess caressed their hip and flashed them a genuinely delighted smile as they stumbled back a bit. Then Jess turned to the cock in his *other* hand… the easiest choice to make for his next blow job, out of the several people waiting for his attention.

“Yes, that’s it, right there,” the new cock-owner said. Jess hadn’t looked at their face before starting.

He’d lost track -- he’d actually lost track of how many cock he’d had in his mouth tonight - and he hoped Katja and Anit could be trusted to count for him, alongside their other duties. Instead of something like the private party they had organized for Jess’  _ other  _ oral skill training, this time he took his personal research project to the Pit and threw open the invitation to anyone who had a cock… and who met first Katja and Anit’s standards, and then his own general inspection. When he could be bothered to do it.

So here he was, on his knees and wearing only some very damp underwear, running cocks through his mouth until they climaxed. Somewhere in his brain, Jess was cataloguing techniques, duration, comparative sensitivity, guidance given, etc. But mostly he was realizing that sucking cock was an intensely pleasant way to pass the time.

This one in front of him was the most curved cock Jess had seen, head pointing straight up while he held the base out at a horizontal angle. Jess straightened up and re-positioned to get a good swallow, and realized partway through that the owner of the cock - a very thin, pale young man with ginger hair - looked familiar to Jess. 

_ He was a High Garda recruit with me, _ Jess thought, nearly lifting up onto his toes to find an angle to get this cock down his throat.  _ He didn’t last long. Nice guy, though. I wonder if he’d want a position at the shop. _

The young man shuddered as Jess nailed his angle and managed a long, tight suck. When Jess immediately followed with wet, quick bobs, he found himself swallowing another unique blend of salt and musk.

Jess turned his head again, and with no preamble, he had a cock as far down his throat as it would go. His hair now being held almost painfully tight, he loosened his neck and shoulders and let the stranger face-fuck him. 

Jess sacrificed sucking power to keep his throat as open as he could. Perhaps someday he'd master both at once, but for now he just enjoyed his numb gag reflex, which made possible a tingly sense of fullness all over. He could somehow feel the insertion from both sides -- his own slick throat and the throbbing cock inside it. It made him pleasurably dizzy, like he was drunk.

This shot of bitterness was like too much cinnamon and cloves. And the cock-owner moved on.

Jess spun around to greet what he thought might be multiple people beginning to grope him from behind… and he was right. There were three people standing there.

“Here were are, hon,” said one of them. “Triple decker treat for you.”

“Yummy,” Jess said.

The first one, on Jess’ left, was tall, broad and furry with swelling, tanned muscles and a thick, cut cock. The one in the middle was dark and lanky, with a cock to match. The third had purchased their cock and had strapped it on.

Jess reached a hand toward each of the first two cocks, and leaned his face over his shoulder toward the third… Thomas’ new siloxane, perhaps? With fewer nerve endings in the shaft, Jess would have to make up for it with gusto. And maybe some lewd eyeballing.

He spit lube onto the shaft, showed his tongue, looked up through his eyelashes. He dipped and flourished his head more. He may have stared longingly at the breasts between him and the face of the strap-on owner… all of which apparently worked its magic. They came as Jess pressed the cock against their mound. 

Once they pulled away, someone else shifted into their place. Jess mentally slotted them in line behind the two cocks waiting in his hand.

This continued for another… four cocks? Five? Jess was blurry and raw-throated and drunk on come. He thought the crowds were thinning, though. Perhaps Katja or Anit were stopping the flow of new bodies.

Perhaps just as well. Jess was starting to feel fatigued.

Jess turned again and Tiny was there… the largest man he’d ever met, and one of the quietest. He was fully clothed, but unfastening his trousers.

Jess grinned, raised an eyebrow and cocked his head.

“I’ll do my best, Tiny,” Jess said. “But my jaw doesn’t unhinge.”

Tiny chuckled, reached into his trousers and brought out a just barely manageable trunk of a cock that Jess quickly sucked into his mouth.

Tiny had been good to Jess, and Jess found himself pleased to minister to him, even as his energy ebbed away. 

Suddenly, though, Jess imagined it was Thomas, and Jess found one last burst of sucking strength. He closed his eyes, and pictured having his friend fill his mouth, and it wasn’t too long before one last slick climax slipped past Jess’ lips. He swallowed a taste of salt and oak.

While Tiny staggered back, Jess looked around, finally noticing Anit at the door, and Katja heading his way.

“How you doing there, tiger?” Katja asked, crouching next to him.

Jess nodded and frowned. He might have swayed, he wasn’t sure.

“Lecture done for the day, I think,” he croaked out. “Same time tomorrow, then?”


	13. Crying (prompt #22)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been five years since the events of the books. 
> 
> Jess has built a new career, and he has now met someone with their own very full past. This is their first non-business trip together, to steal some time away alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags include crying, angst, grief work, healing, happy tears, comfort, fellatio, anal sex and sex with a disability. Also entirely original character here.
> 
> I have found the crying to be quite contagious. Consider this your tissue warning.
> 
> Ben intends for their pronouns to be them and themself. Any errors are on me and my terrible head for pronouns.
> 
> Fyi, they’re both speaking in English, though with different accents. More on that later. ;-)

Jess carried two glasses of wine across the threshold of the open glass doors, and paused on the balcony in awe. 

There was the bright scent of salt water. The jewel blue color stretching out to the horizon. Rolling white clouds flecked with seabirds. The expanse of craggy rocks below them, with waves crashing at their feet. It all held a shimmering, breathtaking, living sort of beauty... as though it held the kind of secret that pricked at the corner of Jess’ eyes. It gave him the sense that their idyllic quarters were vaulted up toward the heavens for a sacred reason of some sort.

He didn’t know what he might have done to earn some exalted place here, surrounded by this beauty. But perhaps the lone occupant of the balcony had earned them both the right to all this.

Facing away from Jess, they looked windswept and sturdy, with brown-black, shaggy hair that tickled their ears, and a meticulous asymmetry about their shoulders. One sleek but solid arm held the wrought-iron railing in front of them. Their other, slightly narrower arm curled in gracefully next to their torso, tight with burns. Jess was so used to seeing them draped in Scholar’s black, it was a treat to see the sleek lines of their narrow hips and high waist, and the drape of silk trousers against their legs… again with a subtle but dramatic asymmetry. One solid leg, one gently curved. Strength and tenderness balanced together.

Jess very much wanted to learn more about that balance, in intimate ways.

As he stood there, he reached for something charming to say, but a lump stuck in his throat. It was too much beauty, too much craving all at once, and he wasn’t sure how he was surviving his own desire for it. His desire for _ them _.

Jess was gently pulled out of his poetic reverie when the occupant of the balcony pulled their gaze away from the water, to look at something in their hand.

They were looking at their _ Codex _.

“Ben,” Jess scolded.

“Just a quick note,” Ben replied, writing something down.

“Need I remind you,” Jess said with a smile. “You gave me permission to throw that thing into the water.”

“Only to curtail excessive use! I told you, this is just a note.”

“About what?”

“Must check with the proper local authorities,” they said, looking over the balcony again. “These rock formations must have caves somewhere down this coast. Could house undiscovered treasures, and you know we’ve got brand new technology to document them properly with no harm to the site. Not enough people know that yet.”

As Ben spoke, Jess inched his way up to tilt his head over their shoulder. As he curled one arm around Ben, they reached up as if to slap his hand away from the Codex… then realized just in time that Jess wasn’t reaching for the Codex, but was in fact offering a glass of wine.

Ben gave an amused sigh. They finished their sentence quickly, pocketed the Codex, and reached for the wine while they turned toward Jess.

"See?" Ben said. "All put away."

"For now."

Ben cocked an eyebrow. "Need I search your person for you own Codex and see when you last used it?"

"You won't _ find _it on my person because I put it over there,” Jess gestured with a point, “on the table furthest away from us right now! It's over there and I haven't used it. Because it's over there!"

"Alright, I believe you!" Ben leaned in and dissolved into giggles. "I believe in your commitment to shirk your duties for my sake."

“Thank you.”

They smiled at Jess, and Jess wondered if the roar in his ears was from the waves below or his racing heart. Ben lit up everything around them when they smiled, with eyes and demeanor of warm honey, and generous nose and lips.

Jess watched them lick those luscious lips before they took a drink. Then they stretched a hand up to Jess’ cheek. It was the tender hand, that Jess needed to be gentler with, and Ben offering it up to him so casually made something slip sideways in Jess like he was made of melted butter.

“The sound of the waves is cleansing my soul,” they said, turning toward the water again, and drawing Jess in to press against their back. Jess had learned at least enough to put his arms around Ben in a way that felt pleasant for them. Left arm higher, on solid chest, with room to roam. Right arm near hipbone, and spread just so across their abdomen. It left Ben free to put their arms wherever they needed them… which usually meant dropping their sensitive right arm down to rest on Jess, and using his strong left to explore. Just how much Ben could reach with that arm like this, they were still discovering.

“And just what does your soul need cleansing from?” Jess whispered into their ear, nestling his face into their hair and breathing in their scent.

Ben moaned and whispered conspiratorially. “Lewd thoughts," they said.

Jess gasped dramatically. “Scholar!”

“I know, it’s scandalous.”

“Well, I suppose you should do what you feel is right,” Jess said. “But then, whatever shall we do with that very large bed if you clear away such thoughts?” 

“Oh, I’m certain they’ll come back if I just step away from the water a bit,” Ben said, waving a hand. Then they took another sip and raised an eyebrow at Jess. “Let’s test my theory.”

Jess grinned as Ben began walking back inside. He hung back to give Ben plenty of room for their sometimes swinging gait. But rather than looking fatigued or pained today, Ben looked relaxed and sturdy.

They had just stepped inside the doors when they turned around and looked at Jess.

“Mmm,” they said with a thoughtful frown. And then they nodded. “Mhm! All back again. Dance with me, Jess.”

  
  


The wireless crooned them a song Jess was vaguely aware of, as he held Ben in his arms and they swayed cheek-to-cheek. He felt every place Ben touched him as though that skin were alive and vibrant in an entirely new way now. Their gentler hand brushed his lower back, sending thrills up his spine. Their stronger arm pressed Jess’ shoulders against their own in an embrace that pricked at Jess’ eyes again.

He breathed into Ben’s neck, stroking their back.

“I do apologize if I get too forward, Liberius,” Ben said. “Now that we’re on our long-awaited Time Away. Lewd thoughts and all that.”

Jess hummed in their ear. “Mm, time away. I’m sorry it took so long.”

“A Curator’s schedule never stops,” Ben tilted a broad smile toward Jess. “I’m glad I could make the cut.”

Jess smiled back. “About that,” he said. “You know that we… we don’t have to do anything in particular while we’re here. I don't want you to feel pressure to move anything forward between us. I just want to spend uninterrupted time with you.”

“I was about to say the very same thing,” Ben replied. “In a very similar tone of voice, no doubt.”

“What?” Jess asked. “What was my tone?”

“Oh…” Ben mused. “Delicate. Deeply understanding.”

“Condescending, you mean?”

“I didn’t say that. I wouldn’t be here if you condescended to me so easily.”

“I don’t… I don’t mean to imply that you’re fragile, Ben.”

“You don’t? Because truth be told, I was considering implying that you’re a little fragile. And your skin rates sturdier than mine in several locations.”

“Fragile? Me?” Jess felt a jolt of surprise, and struggled to understand. “This will be your first time since a life-changing injury. Or it might be. Your first, I mean, if we… I- that’s my point, I only want to say that we don’t have to rush. No rush. It’s up to you.”

Jess sighed at his terrible mess of a statement.

“I don’t intend to rush past my own very full desires,” Ben said, stroking Jess’ neck with his hand. “However… well, I’m not certain. But perhaps I’m not the only one with a first on our trip here.”

They looked in Jess’ eyes, gently searching. He knew they were absolutely right. Nothing else had felt like this for Jess. Nothing else had ever felt remotely like it, except...

Jess pounding heart skipped a beat.

"You don't have to name it," Ben nearly whispered, though Jess didn’t think they’d intended to speak so quietly. They looked uncertain, all of the sudden.

Jess nodded, and the knot in his throat expanded and tightening around his eyes too.

Ben examined him, and leaned in, bringing a soft hand to Jess’ cheek. 

Their lips met. And everything inside Jess got fuller, and lighter. He felt dizzy and grounded all at once, and sank into Ben’s taste - faint tones of oak and ginger - until they pulled away

Ben shook their head, in seeming disbelief. Jess wasn’t sure they knew they were doing it.

“What are you thinking about, then?” Jess asked as they swayed to the music.

Ben’s gaze looked distant. “I am… somehow simultaneously here, standing and dancing softly with you, at this point in time. And I am also… gyrating on a dance floor…”

Ben gave a wincing smile, as they cast their eyes about in a memory.

“Between… hm, four other dancers, in various states of dress,” Ben said, with a wistful smile. “Some time ago now. A lifetime ago. Just a few years ago. I am also the person eternally confined to bed, in between then and now.”

They stopped swaying, took Jess’ hand with their strong arm and lifted it in a high arc. Jess took the hint and spun in place, coming back to Ben’s arms. They both grinned hard enough to make Jess’ cheeks ache.

“And who knows who else I am. We collect so many selves, don’t we?” Ben said. “Boggles the mind sometimes.”

"Selves and lovers."

“So many lovers,” Ben said with a wicked smile.

"You flatter me with your willingness to spend time with me, all by myself, no additional dancers. Only a single staff of love with which to aim to please you.”

Ben's face fell dramatically . "You've only got one? No, it’s fine, it's fine. It'll be just as good."

Jess laughed aloud, surprising himself, and licked his lips. “Only the one that’s attached firmly. I could go purchase more.”

“Please don’t,” Ben said, voice thick with humor. “We have plenty to work with. And my feasibility studies and preparatory diagrams really only included the two love staffs.”

Jess snorted, giddy with joy. They pressed foreheads together and swayed some more, the tinkling love tunes from the wireless still wafting in the air like a soft, pleasant scent.

“Don’t wear yourself out,” Jess said absentmindedly, glancing over Ben’s shoulder at the cane leaned against the bed.

“You hush,” Ben said tenderly. “I do what I want.”

“Yes, Scholar.”

“I promise a little dance won’t rule out any other options available to us later.”

“I wasn’t certain it would,” Jess said. “I’m just…”

“You’re a worrier and a busybody and too much in my business,” Ben grinned with delight.

Jess let go a soft growl of pleasure, and slipped a hand down to squeeze one of Ben’s ass cheeks. “I have dreams of being too much in your business.”

Ben gave a warm sigh and brought their lips into Jess’ again. Langorous lips explored an easy tangle of tongues, and their swaying shifted from a rhythm in their hips to a steady tilting of their heads as Jess felt heat building between their chests.

Ben suddenly pulled away, and met Jess’ eyes.

“Come to bed with me,” they asked, their voice husky with desire.

The yes was so big in Jess’ heart that it ached. Jess followed as they practically hopped to the bed. 

  
  


Jess was startled to feel his lower lip quiver. Was he cold?

“Are you cold?” Jess found himself asking Ben solicitously. He turned the petting he was doing into pats down Ben’s bare back, as though Jess could warm them with only his hands. 

“I’m not the one that just shivered,” Ben said. The two of them sat up in bed, legs gently tangled, bare-chested. They both still had trousers on, but that was clearly a temporary situation about to resolve itself. Ben’s brown eyes fluttered as they ran their gaze up and down Jess’ body. “Should I slow down?”

Jess admired the distinct lines of Ben’s shoulders. One was tan and curved by muscle. One was a shinier, burnished red, streaked by courage and duty.

“No,” Jess said. “No, I don’t want to slow down, I want more. You?”

Ben’s eyes sparkled as they ran their tongue across their top lip. 

“Then lay back,” they said. “Legs around me. I want to try something.”

Jess’ heart raced as he shifted his position, placing Ben between his legs and leaning back on a pillow. Ben put their weight primarily on their stronger arm and leaned in. So Jess freed his cock, and Ben quickly pounced. 

Ben’s mouth felt good. It felt blissful, in fact. He flashed on the first words they’d said to him - a sharp remark over a silly misunderstanding - as they swirled that same sharp tongue across the head of his cock. Jess had forgotten what it was like to lose himself so entirely in sensation from someone that it was so very important that he touch.

Jess was glad to be on his back. First, because it was more comfortable for Ben. Then, when his chest tightened, Jess could unobtrusively rub it. Finally, when the tears came, they slid from Jess’ eyes and landed in his hair and on the pillow as quickly as possible, and didn’t draw any attention.

He’d felt tears before, when he and Ben had been affectionate. He didn’t really want to try and explain them right now. 

The tears didn’t flow freely enough to hide, though, not quite. And eventually Jess couldn’t hide the hitches in his breathing.

When Ben sat up, they surely noticed glistening drops on Jess’ face. Their brow creased softly, and they reached the tender, tight hand to his cheek.

“Sweetheart,” they said, so gently Jess thought his heart might burst.

“I’m alright,” Jess said. “It’s-”

Jess nearly said ‘it’s nothing’ and stopped cold before he did. 

_ It wasn’t nothing. _

Jess didn’t move away, but he closed his eyes.

“Please don’t worry,” Jess told them.

Ben was silent, and when Jess opened his eyes, Ben had tears brimming in his own eyes, and chewed on their bottom lip with a bit of tension.

“No,” Jess said. “Don’t cry. I can’t make you cry.”

“It’s okay,” Ben whispered. 

They both pulled themselves up, legs folded best they would fold under or around them. They both put both hands on each other.

“You’re doing alright?” Jess said. 

With Ben already nodding, Jess continued. 

“Your mouth was glorious,” Jess said. “It was… perfect.”

Ben smiled. “I’m very pleased to have it to offer you. Jess...”

Jess shivered again, and a strangled sob caught him unawares.

“Do you want to tell me something else about her?” Ben asked, propping themself up to talk. “Something new you haven’t told me before?”

Jess knew exactly what they meant, but he took a moment to absorb their question anyway.

“She’s on your mind, isn’t she?” Ben asked.

Lately, Ben could tell when Morgan had been on Jess’ mind, as she had been tonight. Not in any conscious way this time, but… Jess had the sensation that she was here somehow. That she was closer than she’d ever been through the intervening years.

“She’d not on my mind, she’s… in my skin. I don’t need to talk. She’s just… here.” The tension built behind Jess’ eyes again. “I think I should tell you I… haven’t had feelings about anybody... like I find I have for you.”

Ben tried to stifle a gasp, and was crying themself. They wiped an eye and asked. “You mean not since Morgan?”

Jess shook his head. “Certainly not since then, but... “

Jess struggled to put words to his feelings.

“This… I want to say something,” Jess said, repositioning himself to feel sturdier. “This is probably a terrible idea.”

Ben sniffed and chuckled. “Oh, that’s a promising sentence, though.”

“I’m no good at… application of this sort of thing,” Jess said, ruffling his own hair in nervousness. “But, there’s a poem I found, while we were working on some translations last month. The punctuation is... you know what, that doesn’t matter. I want to tell you about it.”

Ben’s eyes sparkled again. Their face looked so open and inviting. “I want to hear it,” they said, smiling.

Jess took a deep, terrified breath, sunk into Ben’s eyes, and spoke.

“‘Where does this tenderness come from? / These are not the -- first curls I / have stroked slowly.'” Jess made an effort not to chew his lip. “'and lips I / Have known are -- darker than yours…'”

Jess’ throat threatened to seize up, but his hand reached for Ben before he realized it, and then Ben had his hand in both of theirs. Jess drove on.

“‘As stars rise often and go out again / (Where does this tenderness come from?) / So m-'” - _ you’re ruining the meter Jess, don’t stop, keep going _ \- “'so many eyes have risen and died out / In front of these eyes of mine.’”

Jess found Ben’s gaze again. He couldn’t do this without seeing that brown color.

“‘And yet’....”

Jess stopped again, and gave himself a moment to control the sob that bubbled up, like putting a hand over a spring to stop the flow of water. But he was determined to keep talking.

“‘And yet no such song have / I heard in the darkness of night before.'” The light on Ben found the flecks of amber amidst the richer deeper browns in their eyes, eyes bright and round and eager for his words. “‘(Where does this tenderness come from?) / here, on the ribs of the singer.’”

Something shifted inside Jess. The tears flowed freely, but with soft room left to smile too. He took a breath and kept going until the end.

“‘Where does this tenderness come from? / And what shall I do with it, young / sly singer, just passing by? / Your lashes are -- longer than anyone’s.'”

Jess could tell Ben knew all he meant, with the poem. About their lashes. About all of it. They looked breathless with joy, tears on their cheeks, too.

“That’s it, I made it to the end.” Jess chuckled, and sniffed hard. “I promise I’m not sad to be in bed with you.”

He gave the best, most charming smile he could to the exquisitely beautiful, half-naked person next to him.

“I promise I don’t believe it was my oral skills that made you sad,” they said overly gravely. “But just in case, you should suck me off now, instead.”

“Deal,” Jess gasped, and leapt carefully into position.

  
  


Ben’s shaft slid in and out of Jess’ mouth like they were made to fit together. Jess bobbed and tongued, and felt time stop as he luxuriated on their cock. 

Jess didn’t do much differently than he normally would - Ben’s burns in their groin area had mercifully been minimal - and Jess thought he might be doing alright. Ben gasped and moaned, and cast about with their stronger arm, groping for pillows and fistfuls of sheets to squeeze to take in the sensations.

As Ben’s gasps picked up into sobs, Jess paused what he was doing to check in… feeling perhaps a bit less self-conscious about his own spell of tears.

“How is it, Ben?” Jess asked.

“It’s perfect,” they shook and wiped their face. “It is in every way perfect, and you have to keep going.”

“Is that why you’re crying, darling?”

“I’m crying because I wasn’t sure it would work.”

As they said ‘work,’ their whole body shook with weeping. Jess could feel relief and joy radiating off of them.

“I mean it should have,” Ben said. “There was no reason it wouldn’t. But…”

They sobbed again, and then got softly still. 

“Blow jobs belonged to the distant future,” they said. “_ Distant _ future, for so long. Not in the present.”

Ben looked down at him. They looked delirious with relief and happiness. Jess held their gaze while he licked their cock from base to tip. They kept watching as Jess took their whole cock back into their mouth, and Jess did his craftiest, most dedicated sucking.

Ben’s quiet, shallow gasps got longer, and deeper, until long, relaxed moans floated down to Jess’ ears. 

“Make me come,” they said in a hoarse voice. “Make me come, please.”

Jess used the strongest sucking technique he had, and moved as quick as he could.

At first, Ben’s moans turned to held breaths. Then they let loose the most ecstatic sound Jess could imagine, going rigid and then releasing under Jess’ work.

Ben trembled with aftershocks, and more tears, and when Jess was certain they wanted no more stimulation, he shifted carefully around to their side and gently slung an arm across them.

It was a moment before Ben registered Jess back by their side. Once they understood, they pressed themself more tightly into his arms, wrapping their strong arm around him.

Then their lips met, and the kiss took Jess’ breath away. If he weren’t already feeling blissful, Jess could feel the emotion pouring out of Ben enough to fill him up too. 

Jess didn’t think anything could feel so pure again as this, the both of them trembling with awe to be in each others’ arms.

“I’m desperate to have you inside me,” Ben spilled out fervently. “Please. If you can, if you’re up for it. Please. Please come inside me.”

Jess felt tears slip down his cheeks again, but something was different. The knot of tension behind the tears was softened.

“I have an idea,” Jess said. “Turn that way.”

“Yes,” Ben said, immediately understanding, and shifting. “That’s it, yes.”

Ben turned away from him, while Jess reached for the bottle he’d left handy on the night table. 

Jess glided in behind Ben, with a few drops of oil on his fingers, and slid them between Ben’s cheeks; he knew he found the spot when Ben moaned desperately. Jess pressed in, and soon had three fingers inside. With Ben so relaxed and receptive, Jess pulled his hand away and replaced fingers with his quickly oiled cock.

Jess thought at first that Ben might have come again, with their rapturous sob-moans. Jess kept his cock still and wrapped his arms under and around Ben… carefully, the way he knew he could. Ben pressed both of Jess’ arms tight into them, as though they’d both merge into each other clay-like if pressed together hard enough.

“Oh, fuck,” Jess exclaimed under his breath, leaning his head into Ben’s neck as he drew himself out and back in again.

“Fuck. Yes. That’s such a good word,” Ben said. “Fuck!”

“Does that angle work?”

“Fuck, yes it does,” they whined.

“You’re good?”

“I’m so good, Jess. My mission is keeping a good position and I am focusing on that. Fuck.”

Their voice wobbled as Jess slipped in and out, gaining a steady, smooth rhythm.

“Do you need something to do besides stay still?” Jess chuckled, tilting his hips again and again.

“No,” Ben said uncertainly. “Step one. I do this. My job is yes. And you ravish me. Just like that.”

“Fuck, yes,” Jess found a rhythm, while Ben focused on feeling good. “Step one.”

“Jess. Jess, fuck!” Ben found his forearm with their strong hand and dug their fingers in, shivering in delight.

Jess tasted tears again and he didn’t care in the slightest. The same salt was reflected the soft sobs in between Ben’s silky, perfect moans. The same salt in the air outside. The same salt they rocked out of each other again and again.

Jess felt and tasted all of it. And everything was blissfully alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem is by Marina Tsvetaeva, translated from the Russian by Elaine Feinstein.


	14. Threesome (Prompt #23)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dario says yes to sex, and lets Khalila and Jess do the planning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tags for this chapter include threesome, bondage, rope, biting, spanking, hairpulling, pain, and anal and oral sex. I’m putting cuckolding on here too, just in case your tolerance for such a thing is zero, though the humiliation aspect is very, very faint, hence it’s not really solid cuckolding. Mostly everyone’s just conspiring passionately toward orgasm.
> 
> TIMELINE: This happens approximately one year post-series, after the Lingerie and Shotgunning chapters.

Dario felt his favorite chest harness sitting against his skin, and focused on the soothing sensation of it. Khalila’s fingers had built it earlier this evening, wrapping the rope around him and holding him secure inside her work… a physical representation of her hold on his heart. She had built his hip harness too -- a representation of what else she owned. 

She’d built the long, narrow bit gag in his mouth out of rope as well, and promised him more rope to come. She’d then tied his wrists behind him, tied him to his favorite bedpost, and left him there. She and Jess were down the hall, talking. Opening the wine. Relaxing. He and Khalila had discussed various configurations of this exact moment, and it was decided that this was the best way for him to be as relaxed as possible.

There was nothing for him to negotiate. Khalila knew what he wanted - knew better than he did, Dario was certain - and she would make it happen. Dario could relax and do what he was told.

She had positioned his favorite mirror to show him his own reflection while he waited. It was usually a comforting thing, to know how he looked. And to a degree, it still was today. It also made him acutely aware that he was about to have sex with someone new… in just a few minutes, in fact. Someone else would see him nude, would touch him. Someone else would stand next to Khalila and either pleasure Dario sexually, or use Dario to pleasure himself. Dario didn’t know, and didn’t want details beforehand. Too much to obsess over. Let Khalila and the someone else carry the decisions.

Not just  _ any  _ somebody else, either. 

_ It’s Jess. _

Just as the thought crossed his mind - just as the weight of memory and desire rolled through him - he heard voices outside the bedroom door.

Khalila. And Jess.

Dario was facing away from the door, and listened carefully as their voices got brighter until they suddenly filled the bedroom. Then he watched as they slowly stepped into his line of sight.

Khalila wore one of her loosest, flowing dresses, and a satin scarf tied in a wrap Dario knew was quick to remove. 

And Jess. A shimmering jewel-blue silk shirt, and dark trousers. Barefoot. Two glasses of wine in his hand. 

Khalila was laughing. Jess was smiling.

“I told you I’m not that kind of smuggler,” he said.

“The real question is, do you wish to be, Jess?” Khalila smiled wickedly. 

Dario had no idea what the subject matter was. But Khalila and Jess flirting made his stomach churn with jealousy and dark desire. He knew he glared at Jess, and didn’t try to stop. 

_ Maybe if I look angry enough, he’ll hit me. _

Jess sat one glass of wine on a sideboard and came close -- close enough to touch Dario. Close enough that Dario could feel a soft heat from Jess’ exhalations.

Dario held his eye as Jess’ gaze bore into him. Dario saw the friend he trusted… but more than that, he now saw a bare-faced smugness they hadn’t thrown at each other since Ptolemy House. And a deep, dark lust that had - Dario hoped - simmered in both of them for years. 

Then Jess slowly began taking in the sight of Dario’s body, lifting his wine to his lips as he examined him blatantly. Dario heard the softest, wet whispers of the wine crossing Jess’ lips and entering his mouth, and his head spun as though he’d drunk it himself.

Jess thoroughly inspected the chest harness, running a tantalizing fingertip against the rope fibers, carefully avoiding Dario’s skin.

“This is gorgeous work, Khalila,” Jess said. He was leaned in nearly close enough to kiss Dario, and the resonance of his so-very-close voice pitched to reach Khalila - now on the other side of the room - sent chills through Dario.

“Thank you,” she replied, walking back toward Dario from an angle he couldn’t see. “I’ve grown very fond of the art form.”

“As tempting as it is to say that my favorite piece is the one preventing him from speaking,” Jess said, flicking his eyes up to Dario’s and grinning, “That wouldn’t be fair to your work. The hip harness is especially lovely.”

Jess shot Dario another glance, then crouched down in front of him, where Dario’s cock would be at his eye level. Khalila came to join him.

“How much do you know about tight binding?” Khalila asked.

“Very little. I saw some of Master Akira’s work while I was in Tokyo. Extraordinary. This is very different.”

Dario kept staring straight ahead as he felt fingers examining his hip harness. The tip of Jess’ finger brushed the crease between Dario’s leg and his groin, and the skin there burned like fire. 

“It is,” Khalila said. “But before I explain the difference, I need to do one more thing for Dario. My love,” she switched to her command voice. “Soften yourself again.”

Dario let only a slight huff of frustration escape his lips.  _ Soften. While exposed to two prodding, arousing people. Alright. _

Dario conjured an appropriately unpleasant idea to slowly let go of his partial erection.

“That’s good,” Khalila said approvingly. Dario noticed that she was following his request not to be called a good boy in front of Jess. “That’s soft enough for this.”

It was then Dario realized she had a length of smaller rope in her hand, that she was now quickly wrapping around the base of his cock and balls. 

Dario grunted in surprise.

“It’s not for pain, love, I promise,” Khalila said with a smile.

_ No genital pain, did you tell Jess that? Other pain, please. Other pain. Just not that. _

When she had four or five wraps around his cock and balls together, she started to wrap each ball individually, just a bit more, then began a tie-off. She was right, it wasn’t enough to hurt. But he could already tell, the skin of his scrotum was pulled out flat instead of compressed. It would be far more sensitive.

Jess stood again, apparently determined to just hover and gaze at Dario, and it was simultaneously deeply arousing and intensely aggravating.  _ How characteristic _ , Dario thought. He just hovered there, in Dario’s space, close enough to touch him, to kiss him, to suck his cock, to grind against him. Jess could do anything. And he was choosing to sip his wine in that shimmering silk and stare at Dario.

“Beloved, you mustn’t bite at your bit that hard,” Khalila said, putting a hand to his jaw. Dario realized he was breathing heavily and clenching his jaw.

_ Good job, idiot. Panting like a fool when literally nothing has happened yet. _

“Champing at his bit,” Jess said. “Is there something you’re eager to do, Dario?”

Dario put every fiber of himself into the most important eyeroll of his life, and threw it at Jess. It earned Dario an infuriating grin.

“Hm, should I take the bit off?” Khalila mused aloud.

“Not yet,” Jess said. “It makes it nice and quiet in here.”

Jess turned to Khalila and put a suave hand to his lips.  _ Is he wiping away traces of wine? _ Dario thought.  _ That’s obnoxious. _

Khalila smiled back, stepping close to them both. “The trade you make there is that Dario’s mouth is so very talented.” She raised a hand to smooth the buttons of Jess’ shirt.

“I believe that,” Jess said, leaning in to her. “What should we do until we free his mouth?”

“I have an idea,” Khalila said.

She pulled Jess closer - brought them both in so that they leaned slightly against Dario - and their lips met. It was their first kiss; Dario would have known just by looking. Firm lips pressed together tentatively, chaste for an instant and then softening and opening. He watched their jaws shift, the muscles tilting them toward deeper, wetter contact.

Dario’s mind - already oddly loud - churned itself louder and more cacophonous with emotion, every alarm sounding. The blast grew with the heat of their kiss until his head simply went blank. 

A raw white serenity settled as he reached the other side of every fear he’d ever had of  _ exactly this. _

As Khalila let out a moan around Jess’ tongue, she pressed a palm into Dario’s chest, grabbing hold of a rope handle and tugging some meaning directly into his ribcage. Her arousal? Her control? Her ownership of him? All of it, he felt.

Khalila pulled out of the kiss, and the heat between them was blistering. Dario never wanted to be unbound so badly. He wanted - he needed - to be in that heat, touching both of them, feeling them touch each other under his hands.

He desperately needed to be between two of the people he cared about most in the world while they all fell into bliss.

He watched as Khalila needed an instant to gain her bearings again. 

_ This is strange for her, too. Strange and beautiful. _

She eyed Jess, and he watched her think.

“Have you interest in applying that mouth to Dario?” she asked.

If Dario had any pretensions that he’d remain cool or aloof, they were shattered at that. A powerful shiver coursed through him at the thought.

_ Dear God yes, have Jess put literally any part of himself on me. Or in me. Or around me, I could not possibly care less about details. _

“Hm,” Jess said coolly. “I suppose that could be a pleasant enough diversion.”

Jess lifted a hand toward Dario’s face. Before he’d even reached him, Dario leaned toward the hand. As he heard the whimper leave his throat, Dario closed his eyes. It was shameful to want this much. And he couldn’t help it. After a quiet, painful heartbeat, he felt Jess’ hands on both sides of his face. Dario opened his eyes and Jess was watching him, a look like concern on his face.

Jess pressed their foreheads together, and then he stepped in and pressed his whole body into Dario’s, wrapping his arms around him, clutching at Dario’s arms behind his back. 

_ His weight, his length, his bulge, his breath, all of it, I want all of it. _

Jess nuzzled his face into Dario’s neck, as Dario realized how long his moans had become.

Finally, he felt Jess’ teeth sink into the thickest muscle in the crook of his neck.

Dario felt his knees weaken and nearly buckle as a lightning bolt of delicious sharp ache traveled through him from Jess. He let himself hang, suspended from Jess’ bite and lost track of everything else. 

Dario felt another bite higher on his neck, and another. Then Jess leaned down and took Dario’s nipple into his mouth. Dario was dizzy before Jess’ teeth even bore down, pulling tight and sending sharper shivers through him.

Dario thought someone already had hold of his balls, but it must have been only the rope, because it was then that Khalila cupped her hand around them and the feeling turned Dario inside out with sharp-edged pleasure.

“I admit, I’m curious what I can do around that rope.” That was Jess’ voice.

“Please, indulge your curiosity,” Khalila replied.

Dario felt the heat of Jess’ breath first, and for a panicked moment he thought he might come just from that.

Then Dario felt a single stroke of a tongue across his ballsack… wet, and a bit sandpapery. The sensation across the bared nerves was a whole different kind of delicious ache.

The next few minutes was a litany of every technique Dario had to delay his own nearly irresistable orgasm. Nothing had ever been more important than every second Jess wanted to spend with Dario’s cock on his tongue or in his mouth. Dario wouldn’t question his sexual resume, ever again. This mouth deserved every lover it ever got.

He felt Khalila’s perfect hand on his cheek as Dario finally lost his battle far too soon and slipped into convulsive joy that overwhelmed his awareness of everything.

  
  
  


As Dario’s senses sharpened again, he found himself untied from the bedpost and placed on the couch of the bedroom, sitting on his knees between Jess’ bare legs.

_ Jesu Cristo, how is he this handsome? _

“Lick his nipple, love.” That was Khalila’s command voice.

Dario stared blankly. His long bit of curled rope was still in his mouth, wedging his teeth open, spreading his lips thin and stopping his tongue from extending fully.

“Did you not hear?” Khalila said, her voice growing sharp. “Lick. Jess’ nipple. Like this.”

Khalila leaned over, her hair falling across Jess’ bare chest and causing Jess to shiver in delight. Dario couldn’t see what she was doing - by design - but he watched as Khalila was the reason why Jess gasped and blinked with desire. As she continued, Jess let out a soft moan. Jess curled his arm around her and laid a hand lovingly on Khalila’s head, and Dario thought his heart would stop from the jolt of emotion that tore through it. Just what emotions they were he wasn’t certain. Too many to name.

Khalila pulled away softly and turned to Dario.

“Your turn,” she said.

Dario gave her a hard stare.

It was then he finally noticed his hands were still tied behind his back.

_ They’re both getting an earful about this when this damned gag is out. _

Once he had carefully positioned himself over Jess’ reclined form, Dario stretched his tongue as far out as it would go around the gag, and realized just how little he had to offer without lips or suction available to him. 

_ Fine, then. If that’s the game, let’s play. _

He moved slowly at first, exploring how far he could flatten his tongue, and how wet he could get it around the damp rope. Dario aimed for soft and sensual touch to Jess’ nipple and met with some measure of success, he thought, at least under the circumstances. 

Then started flicking the tip of his tongue, and listened as Jess’ heavy sighs and soft short moans turned to small gasps and grunts of satisfaction.

As Jess’ hand tousled his hair, Dario moved to his other nipple and worked it similarly. As he expanded the rhythms of his darting movements, he felt Jess’ breath start to quicken in his chest.

He felt rather than saw Khalila lean in to Jess, and heard the two of them kissing.

Dario took the distraction as a chance to reposition quickly, and got his mouth on the topside of Jess’ cock. He didn’t trust the bulky rope gag brushing anywhere that was this sensitive, but here he could keep it parallel to Jess’ shaft and still maneuver his tongue below it. 

_ I’m going to sprain my tongue, did they think of that? _

He made contact and heard Jess press his muffled response into Khalila’s mouth. 

So Dario followed the shaft further and further down, working as hard as he could, until…

Jess groaned loudly, reached for the back of Dario’s head, and found the tie for the bit, loosing it quickly.

Jess kept hold of Dario’s hair with one hand as he pulled the gag free. Dario had an instant to gulp in a deep breath - meeting Jess’ wildly sparkling eyes and glimpsing Khalila’s smile - before Jess shove Dario’s face down on his cock and roughly thrust in and out.

Dario lost track of time again. The only thing that existed in the world was his throat and Jess’ cock crashing into it, his fingers gripping Dario’s hair painfully, and Khalila’s hums of approval reverberating in his ears.

At some point Jess buried himself deep, and Dario lay there, drinking it in, only to fly up off his cock and be held there, hovering in a halo of pain, while Jess and Khalila talked.

_ What’s going on? No, more please. More of anything. _

The next thing Dario knew, his head was being craned backwards painfully. It wasn’t until the hand in his hair moved him off-balance that Dario realized his own hands were unbound, and he stiffly put them to use to keep himself from tipping off the couch. 

Then Jess was over Dario’s shoulder, on the couch behind him, growling something into his ear. Dario couldn’t process what he said, but he wanted him to keep his hot breath on Dario’s ear and cheek.

Dario’s eyes watered at his pulled hair, and he still wasn’t clear what he was being told. But Jess was shoving him back down to where he had just been, as if to bury Dario’s face into the couch Jess vacated.

No, not the couch. Khalila.

Khalila’s legs were spread and her warmest tastes were under Dario’s tongue.

“That’s it,” she said sweetly. “That’s my love.”

He dove into this new task with vigor.  _ Khalila. Wet thinking about Jess. My whole mouth free, I could bury myself here and make her come again and again. _

Dario’s focused narrowed again, and he drank her in. Her favorite sensations were deep muscle memory in his jaw by now, and it didn’t take a single thought to offer up one and then another like a prayer.

Dario had only flashed on an instant of curiosity as to Jess’ whereabouts when a hot blaze of pain landed across Dario’s ass cheeks. 

Jess had struck him.

He shuddered his gratitude into Khalila’s splayed mound, and shifted to clutch her closer and lift his ass closer to Jess.

Another blow hit him, and Dario sobbed into Khalila’s warm folds. He felt her hand on his head.

“You may pause once to give the proper response.” Khalila’s voice was heavy with arousal. “Then resume what you’re doing.”

Dario pulled his mouth away. “Thank you, Jess,” he groaned

“You’re so polite,” Jess replied, striking again.

The pain sharpened Dario’s attention. He felt Khalila’s subtle movements under him, and knew precisely where Jess was.

“Can you feel the blows, Khalila?” Jess asked, still delivering them.

“Every one,” Khalila said, breathlessly. “The force transfers to me exquisitely.”

“Oh, that sounds fun,” Jess replied. “Care to experiment with that?”

Khalila moaned… and Dario could tell she was just on the edge of narrowing her own focus.

“That sounds quite pleasant, let’s do it,” she said tightly, tapping Dario’s shoulder.

“Do what?” Dario said thickly, pulling himself back up.

“You stay there, love, you’re doing just fine,” Kahlila said, shifting down further under him, as Jess came in to press against his back.

Khalila took Dario’s face in her hands, and gave him a look. He recognized it without her speaking; it was her check-in face.

“Oh, um.” Dario fumbled for words. “I’m fine,” he whispered to her, “I’m alright, please don’t stop.”

Khalila brushed his hair off of his forehead. “Maybe just one more thing,” she said with a hint of cool assessment in her tone, though she was flushed and her eyes sparkling with ardor. “Slide into me, just like this.”

Dario slipped further between her legs and slid his cock inside of her. She was warm and swollen and wet and had clearly been enjoying herself.

_ Khalila, flower, my beloved. _

He pressed his hips into her a few times, and then froze, a sensation crossing his ass again. This time, though, Jess rubbed and squeezed, and gave Dario long strokes up his back.

A rush of understanding hit Dario, just as he felt Jess moving his own knees to match up to Dario.

“Joder, si!” Dario exclaimed into Khalila’s neck. “Si, yes, Jesu Cristo, yes.”

Dario shuddered hard in anticipation… so hard and so long that he felt Jess go still. Dario felt himself lose a grip on his breath, and he panted and shivered in Khalila’s arms.

“You’re so good, my love, you’ll get what you want. Take a deep breath first for me.”

Dario raised his head enough to take a barely steady breath. He was still firmly inside Khalila.

“Just stay inside your wife, Dario,” Jess said. “I’ll do the rest.”

_ Just stay inside Khalila _ . Dario settled his arms around her head, levered his knees into the couch and tilted his hips just a little, flexing to feel himself inside of her.

Khalila wrapped her arms around his torso. And Jess… Jess had his hands on Dario’s hips. One hand, anyway. Another now lined them up, and then Jess’ slicked cock pressed into Dario to the hilt.

Dario didn’t know if the sound he was making was screaming or sobbing. But whatever it was, he managed to twist himself onto his arm and blunt it against his own flesh, and not throw the full force of it into Khalila’s face. Not that she seemed to mind. Her face was a combination of thick arousal and a conspiratorial enjoyment of Dario’s overwhelming sensation.

Dario followed the trajectory of Jess’ thrusts and let them guide him into Khalila -  _ “the force transfers to me exquisitely” _ \- and wondered when they first thought of this. How long had his two trusted loved ones colluded to make this perfect thing happen. With him here, in between their heat, two people that meant the world to him. All tangled, all pressed into each other, rutting together.

_ Jess is using me to fuck Khalila.  _ The thought was so arousing, Dario had to dampen it down immediately.

As though they knew, Jess leaned over Dario’s shoulder and found Khalila’s lips for an instant.

_ Kissing with me between them now. Yes, more. _

“Stop, stop,” Dario said, straightening himself back between them to push them apart.

Khalila looked alarmed, and Jess stopped his motions cold.

“No!’ Dario said. “Not the thrusting, just stop the kissing. You’re going to make me come and I don’t want to.”

Jess snorted and picked up his pace to an excruciatingly stimulating degree. Then he grabbed Dario’s hair again, making Dario grunt.

“Having trouble keeping hold of your arousal level?” Jess asked.

“Jesu Cristo,” Dario said, his voice shaking with Jess’ rhythm. “Why are you both so committed to ending my participation quickly?”

Khalila giggled wickedly underneath him, choosing then to find his nipple with her hand.

“Dario, you can have whatever response you want to,” Jess said. “You can come or not come. We’ll be done using you whenever we’re done using you.”

At that, an orgasm ripped through Dario, who lost all track of who was where and how he should best respond to it. His throat got raw with a scream he couldn’t control as he tried his best not to flail himself out of Khalila’s arms.

As he came back down, he found himself still on her and in her, Jess still rock hard inside him.

“This is fun,” Jess said over Dario’s shoulder. “What next, Khalila?”

Trusting whatever their collusion brought on next, Dario let himself have an instant to fade out of awareness, and catch his breath again.


	15. Anal Sex (Prompt #24)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess can’t reach his trusted friends for the friend sex he’s craving. So his friends send him Vittorio Santi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter include anal sex, kissing, grief/mourning and comfort. Also you'll get some tattoo backstory from Vittorio.
> 
> TIMELINE NOTE: This happens about a year after the events of the series, and a couple of weeks after the events of the Threesome chapter.
> 
> (Also, yes I'm pulling Vittorio into my main timeline. Jess is fucking anything that moves anyway, so the affair fits!)

Gardens usually helped, when Jess was in this state. This one wasn't helping.

Jess was exhausted... and despite his wrist being set and plastered, it still ached sharply. He knew he should be grateful he wasn't dead… and he was. But he was also bone-tired, and made entirely of raw nerves. 

Security still milled around him with alarm, though now that they were inside these fortified walls, the threat was gone. Jess wasn’t a Curator yet, though it was looking more and more like the Chief Printer of the Great Library was enough of a target to need Curia-levels of security coverage. 

But for now, at least, he was safe.

Jess knew there were precious few luxuries until they finished their job here and got back home. There would be no pleasant diversions, and no real comfort, until this work was completed… so he felt free to conjure up the most satisfying image he could find inside of him. If he could be anywhere right now, he thought he'd want to be with someone he knew well, and trusted. Someone he didn’t mind touching him in this abraded, jangled state. He could imagine being under Dario, Khalila’s voice wafting over them both and giving Dario some instructions in… Jess didn’t care, so long as it was warm and caressing and completely enveloping of Jess' senses. 

They'd only been intimate twice and he already craved them both. He wasn’t sure what to do with that.

Jess gave up on finding any comfort in this courtyard garden - it was lovely enough, but felt oddly impersonal to him - and he began walking back toward the steps up to his room. 

As he reached his assigned quarters, he realized a fair portion of his High Garda escort was buzzing anew around the grounds again.

He glanced back down into the open courtyard below, and realized several of his security agents were escorting someone new, who must have just arrived via translation. 

Jess felt a sudden shock of pleasure run down his body as he laid eyes on the newcomer. He didn't immediately place the man, though he looked familiar. Jess thought him to be near Nic and Chris’ age, with short-cropped black hair liberally streaked with gray. While he carried himself as though he should be wearing a High Garda uniform, he instead wore some sort of decorative armor, made of leather in shimmering shades of gray. His cuirass had elegant swirls tooled into it, and Jess could see that his spaulders extended down his back in a feather pattern, with winglike clusters of feathers draped down both of his shoulders on a long, flowing cape. The satin glimmer of the cape, in turn, lay against a long skirt that rippled as he walked, the same way it would on Khalila. Sensuous and bold. 

Jess wondered what lay under the skirt, then his eyes caught again on the cascading silver wings. He was certain he'd met him before. He just couldn't place where. 

That certainty of unretrieved knowledge about the man made Jess’ sudden fantasies of being penetrated by an angel feel quite awkward.

“Lieutenant,” Jess asked the young woman guarding his door. “What’s happened?”

“Nothing of concern, sir,” the woman said. “Still all secure. The Archivist simply sent someone to be certain of that. No cause for alarm.”

Jess nodded, believing full well that the woman was highly alarmed at the sudden requirement to impress an unexpected superior. But Jess felt secure enough, and unmoved by the worry surrounding him. 

He also didn’t trust himself not to pursue a distracting sexual encounter that might be much more exhausting than it was worth. 

“Well, I’m retiring to my room for the night,” he told her. “If the Archivist’s agent needs me, that’s where I’ll be.”

  
  
  


About half an hour later, there was a knock on the door of Jess’ sparse quarters.

Jess opened it to find Khalila’s winged agent waiting for him.

Seeing his face so clearly, Jess placed him right away. Nic’s brother, who had handled Khalila’s security for some time now. Jess was rarely in the same room with him, somehow.

Nic’s brother. Practically family. Hardly a proper subject for a random fling. And probably much more athletic in style than Jess was craving right now.

“Captain Santi,” Jess said, extending his hand.

“Librarian Brightwell, a pleasure,” he said. He had a breathtaking smile that caught Jess a bit off-guard. "May I intrude upon your evening?"

Jess frowned thoughtfully. "You're not intruding on anything but me having very little to occupy my time. Come in."

Santi entered as unobtrusively as one could wearing a leather cuirass, with a matching sweeping skirt and cape with leather feathers. "You are well, then?" Santi asked. “After the attack.”

"Nothing that will slow me down. I’m told my escort are all fine as well?”

“Yes, indeed, all safe,” Santi said. “Minimal injuries.”

Jess nodded in satisfaction, and a hint of confusion.

“What brings you to join us this far away, then, Captain Santi?"

Captain Santi smiled, a bit sheepishly. “Please, call me Vittorio, if you will. And what brings me is only the gentle heart of your friend, the Archivist. Everyone insists that you're fine, and you clearly are…"

Jess laughed. "But Khalila was worried enough to send you to look at me yourself?"

Vittorio nodded once, a softly pursed smile on his face.

“Well in that case, Vittorio - if your duty requires you to thoroughly observe and assess the state of my well-being - then would you like something to drink?” Jess asked.

“That sounds very fine. What have you got?”

“This region produces a very fine whiskey, which I have obtained several bottles of. I will share my stash…” Jess grabbed a bottle and jostled two glasses over, pouring with his uninjured hand. “... if you’ll answer my question.”

“Hm, hard bargain, good whiskey for an answer to a question,” Vittorio replied. “But I accept.”

“Excellent,” Jess said, handing him a drink. "Why are you wearing that outfit?"

Vittorio looked down, seemingly puzzled. "Why not wear it?"

“That’s not an answer.”

“It certainly qualifies as an answer per our agreement,” Vittorio said, a grin tugging at his mouth. “You didn’t specify a useful or honest answer.”

“I certainly didn’t,” Jess said. “Well, fairly played.”

Jess offered his glass up in a sign of respect, and Vittorio reciprocated.

“Please don’t tell Khalila I made such a bad deal, she’ll worry too much.”

“Agreed,” Vittorio replied. “Your friends care a great deal about you.”

The unexpected warmth of the comment weighed heavily on Jess. Maybe because he missed them all so. Maybe because it felt like something was bearing down on him, and he didn’t know how to outrun it. Maybe because the thought of them seemed to keep the danger at bay.

As he mused about them, Jess finally pieced the mystery together. "The costume ball was this evening! That's why the get-up."

Vittorio smiled. "The Archivist's husband has a soft spot for excuses to wear elaborate clothing. As you no doubt knew long before I did."

Jess sat on the couch in the small room, and gestured for Vittorio to join him.

"And who are you dressed as?" Jess asked.

"The Archangel Gabriel."

Italian Catholics were so…  _ Catholic _ , Jess thought. 

“And what does Gabriel wear under his skirt?” Jess asked with a smirk.

Vittorio kept a neutral mask on, but his eyes danced.

“That answer depends on who’s asking, and why,” he told Jess.

Jess wasn’t the least bit certain where he wanted to go next with that line of inquiry, so he looked for a deflection. Soon an earnest question sprung to his mind from some dusty memory.

"Gabriel was a messenger, I thought,” Jess said. “Wasn't it Michael who was the Protector, like you? Why not dress as him?"

Vittorio finished his sip of the liquor. "Michael's a jackass. I want nothing to do with that one."

"What makes him a jackass?"

Vittorio glared. "He knows what he did." 

Jess felt a genuine laugh bubble up.

Vittorio smiled, then shook his head and mused. “No. Michael's simply a ‘slash first, ask questions later' sort of a creature. That's not a story that inspires me to be my best. Gabriel is a communicator. He's the patron saint of diplomats.”

Vittorio stretched back on the couch, and Jess was startled again by how attractive he was, all that fighting prowess relaxed and in repose.

“He announced the birth of Christ,” Vittorio said, examining his drink. “He gave an important part of the Quran to Mohammed.”

“And as a soldier, that speaks to you?” Jess asked, curious.

“As someone who orders others to their duty, yes. I want that foundation of wisdom in what I do. So far as I am able to embody it, at any rate.”

“Well, the look certainly suits you.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Vittorio said.

Jess realized he felt one step behind… startled by Vittorio’s arrival, startled by how magnetic his presence was, startled by how easy it was to flirt with him even in his raw state.

Jess sat and examined Vittorio, and in turn was seen by his assessing eye. They were quiet a moment before Vittorio spoke.

“I'll be direct,” he said.

“I don’t mind directness,” Jess said.

“Khalila sent me with an eye toward... meeting a multitude of needs for you. Should you be interested. No harm done whatsoever if you’re not.”

Jess’ cock suddenly strained against his trousers, as his mind struggled to catch up.

“You’re her head of security,” Jess said.

“I provide services that protect and support her well-being,” Vittorio clarified. “Some of them, I assist Scholar Santiago in addressing. And when she’s worried about the well-being of a… close friend… I can provide services there as well. A negotiated deal between us, if you prefer. Or simply an enjoyable time.”

Jess tried to assess Vittorio’s statements calmly. But he found his resolve to comport himself in a business-like fashion slipping through his fingers like dry sand. 

He tried not to shake as he sat his drink down on the nearby table.

And then he stood, and took the step and a half required to stand directly in front of where Vittorio sat. Knee against knee.

Vittorio made no move toward him, but the look in his soft eyes said his lap was free and available. 

So Jess took it, climbing on to straddle him and sit on his thighs. Vittorio put his drink down, and rested both hands curved around Jess’ waist. It was the gentlest invitation Jess had ever received. A lap waiting for him. Strong and yielding. 

Jess wanted to know what his kiss tasted like.

So he leaned in. Before he reached Vittorio’s lips, he felt a hand alight on his neck just as tender as could be. Their lips met, and an instant later their tongues did too. Vittorio didn’t invade; he didn’t even seem to strive. He simply and powerfully washed against Jess… soft lips and stubble and hands exploring his back and chest… hands that Jess already knew he would let do anything.

Jess couldn’t tell who had made the decision, but now his shirt was off, and his trousers undone, pelvises rocking against each other with his growing bulge finding Vittorio’s. The expanding skin-to-skin contact put Jess into a soothing reverie, one that only faltered a moment when he realized he didn’t know how to get Vittorio out of his armor.

“Right,” Vittorio noticed. He reached for his cape.

“Do we have to lose the wings?” Jess said, more disappointment in his voice than he’d intended.

“Take a look what you find underneath,” Vittorio whispered. He unfastened the cape at two points, and that action revealed two buckles on the shoulders of the armor itself. Jess was well positioned to get it off quickly, even one-handed. So he did, lifting the pieces of the cuirass up and out of the way.

Vittorio’s stomach and chest was as muscular as his brother, Jess realized first. As sturdy and powerful, and as casually sensuous… and as furry, but with white fur now mixed in with the black. It was a good look that Jess envied on those who could do it.

Jess reached for Vittorio’s shoulders and stopped with a gasp, realizing what he’d meant. Vittorio’s wings were marked on him in tattoo… on his shoulders and the top part of his arms… and also, Jess discovered as he pressed against Vittorio to look, also well down his back. A magnificent, detailed piece in shades of gray.

Jess wasn’t sure why, but the wings momentarily brought tears to his eyes, and a lump to his throat.

“They’re beautiful,” he finally said, tracing a long line of it with his finger.

“I got them as a reminder,” Vittorio said. “Of someone very important to me.”

“Someone gone,” Jess realized.

Vittorio nodded.

“Are they heavy to carry?” Jess whispered.

Vittorio frowned softly in thought. “Some days it feels like arms flung around me. Some days it's as soft as…”

“As hair falling across your chest?”

Vittorio hummed with a pleasant memory and nodded.

“She's always here,” Vittorio said softly. “Soft and warm, or cool and tingling against my skin. Not a single touch of hers ever fades entirely. I wanted to celebrate that with something beautiful.”

Jess wanted that too. He put one hand to each of Vittorio’s shoulders, and he carefully traced the top line of the tattoo. They weren’t his, the wings, not his to explore. But he could recognize their beauty. And he could be grateful for it. 

He realized soon that he was grinding against Vittorio, now swelling stiffer underneath him. Vittorio held him in a close embrace, while Jess carded fingers through his hair and kissed his face, and there was something so soothing about the man’s touch, about every place he touched Jess.

He was larger than Jess. Like Nic, he’d easily overcome Jess in a fight. That thought existed in his head only as a distant, watercolor background to Vittorio picking Jess up in his arms so softly. Jess wrapped his legs around his waist until they got to the small bed. And then Jess’ trousers and underwear was gone, and so was Vittorio’s skirt. Which, it turned out, was covering not another stitch of clothing underneath.

For an instant, Vittorio stood, towering over a reclining Jess, looking magnificently nude but for his very fine boots dyed to match the costume.

“That’s a wondrous costume,” Jess opined. “Every piece of it. Even the pieces that don’t exist.”

Vittorio grinned as he unzipped his boots and stepped out of them.

“It’s certainly a fun way to get noticed,” Vittorio said.

Jess found himself grinning like an idiot at that. Something about Vittorio reminded Jess of himself. Something about him felt to Jess like a key fitting itself to a lock, any lock. Vittorio climbed on top of him… or he drew Vittorio onto him, Jess wasn’t sure. Vittorio’s size and strength made it all the more delicious when he pressed himself so very tenderly down on Jess.

That was what Jess realized he wanted most. Out of everything possible, he wanted to be held tightly and smoothly and blissfully, solace pouring over him, until he felt less strained and lacerated on every surface of himself.

He wrapped his legs around Vittorio again, angling his hips up to align them both. Jess licked his own good palm several times and reached between his legs for Vittorio’s cock -- a sumptuous, thick weight in his hands. He got him slick, and Vittorio slid in like a caress, enfolding him further than Jess thought possible.

Then Jess was willing to reach for Vittorio’s wings, to streak his bruised fingertips down Vittorio’s back as he clutched him close. With each stroke of his cock, Vittorio was immersing himself in Jess like he was swimming in a lake… seaside waves that Jess could feel all the way up to the base of his skull. 

Jess let Vittorio’s strokes sweep through him and empty his mind. The quiet in his head wasn’t a numbness this time, but a wide, crystal stillness. It was a warm, pulsing run on a clear, blue windy day. It was room to breathe… more air with every plunge.

They spent the rest of the night stroking a balm across Jess’ wounds, every inch and every angle, until Jess fell into a soft sleep in Vittorio’s arms.


	16. Shower Sex (prompt #25)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess attends a raucous business function, and bumps into an old friend.
> 
> Jess/Izumi smut!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags include shower sex and PIV sex.

Jess had to admit, it was a lovely yacht.

Seafaring was not, historically, his favorite mode of travel. But this boat floated on clear green water, off the coast of Sicily, and comfortably held about a hundred partygoers showing off the newest, skimpiest bathing suits. 

It was a pleasant enough way for Jess to ingratiate himself with the yacht-owner, one of the adult grandchildren of the Tartikoff patriarch and heir to a smuggling fortune and burgeoning publishing empire.

The younger Tartikoff was around somewhere… though word was he had disappeared into a crowd of a half-dozen young women about an hour ago. Jess felt compelled to give him his privacy… privacy being in abundance, it seemed, on this very large luxury boat. There were plenty of private berths below, a fact Jess kept handy as he watched and flirted with other partygoers and businesspeople.

So far Jess had scouted a couple of potential partners for fun and possible profit. There was a tall muscular man with a striking smile and some connections in central Africa, and a round woman in an alluring translucent wrap with sharp wit and several presses across India.

All of those thoughts dropped away, though, when Jess turned a corner on deck and caught a glimpse of… someone. They were turned away from him, and he could only see long, shimmering black hair against pale skin. The stranger wore one of the new two-piece bathing suits that was primarily made of thin cords holding strategic patches of small fabric in place. Jess was instantly smitten with the thought of his hand against that skin. She didn't have anyone by her side at the moment. Could that mean she was available for adventure? Whoever she was, whatever her connections, the thought was worth pursuing. 

So Jess detoured to a drink stand and selected two flutes of champagne, right after running a hand through his hair and checking that his loose black swim trunks hung across his pelvis just where he wanted them to. Nothing too lurid, yet, but he didn't mind showing a glimpse of the terrain below his stomach.

As he approached, she casually shifted her stance and Jess got a look at her hip, and the front of her suit bottom. He hadn't been with anyone quite so small and slender yet, and his cock was getting very curious.

He didn't try too hard on his opening line. He'd shine much more once he knew a bit about her.

"I had no idea Alexei's parties had such-"

She turned her face to him and Jess stopped mid-sentence, staring at her. Their postulant days seemed a lifetime ago, but there was no mistaking Izumi Himura's shining grin, or her own shock of surprise at seeing him.

"Jess!" she exclaimed. "I didn't know you'd be here."

She threw her arms around his neck - pressing her body to his - and he stood startled, keeping the champagne from spilling on her.

For a moment Jess was at a loss. Fondness and shared history and business opportunities all fought for space inside of him. Most pressing was Izumi’s allure, and Jess’ desire to keep certain options open, however they decided to spend their time catching up.

_ One option is closed, though,  _ he thought. In this relationship, there would forever be gaps in his armor of effortless charm. Izumi had seen him at bleary-eyed 3am study sessions; she’d seen him locked out of his room in unflattering choices of sleepwear. There was only so smoothly he could present himself after that.

_ A suave start is out. Aim for bold, then. _

"Izumi, it's a deep delight to see you.” He smiled, genuinely. “All of you." He threw a quick glance down her body and back up to her eyes.

She answered with a wicked face that told him he'd made the right choice.

"You haven't seen all of me yet," she replied.

  
  
  


Jess soon found himself hunting down one of those private berths, following right behind a determined Izumi.

"Later tonight, I've got to throw on clothes, leave from here and dash to this meeting with potential distributors," Izumi said, her voice silky. "And my hair smells like ocean water and sunblock, which is just not the impression I was going for."

She flipped a switch and they were in a small cabin. Jess' eyes snagged on the bed, but that wasn't what Izumi sought.

When she put her hand on the small door that presumably led to a shower, she spun around and leaned against it. Jess watched as her hair followed after her movement for another instant after she stopped, spilling over her shoulder and onto her breast still just barely covered by her swimsuit. Jess could see the inner and bottom curves of her breasts, and he flattered himself to think her nipples weren't quite so aggressively visible before he showed up.

"The shower is probably in here," she said.

"It's a fair bet." Jess smiled.

"Want to help me get ready?" she said, twisting the handle and cracking open the door.

"I'd welcome the chance to contribute to the work of a valued colleague."

Izumi lifted her head in an invitation to a kiss. Jess leaned in, and just as he thought their lips would meet, she swung the door further and slipped away from him.

He laughed quietly as Izumi backed her way into the small room, and his smile only grew when she casually reached for a knot in her bathing suit and the top half of it was suddenly gone, baring small round tits with nipples that badly needed Jess' mouth on them.

Jess decided that was a good next move. So as Izumi turned and reached toward the water faucet, he grabbed her hips and drew her close instead. She gasped with what felt like mock surprise, and threw her arms up around his neck again. So he bent his head down and pulled one of those nipples into his mouth.

She was right. She smelled like salt water and sunbathing and her nipple only got harder under his tongue. 

"I can't reach the water from here," Izumi said in a conspiratorial whisper.

"I'll lick you clean," he offered.

She responded to that by moaning, tugging his trunks down and wrapping her legs around his waist.

He stepped them into the shower stall together, and Izumi managed to turn on the hot water while finding Jess' mouth with her own.

“I have a confession to make,” she said, raising her voice to be heard over the pounding water.

“Oh?”

“I fantasized about you at Ptolemy House.”

“You didn’t!” he exclaimed.

“I did. I thought about you night. In bed. With my hand in my clothes.”

“That's shocking,” he said, with an attempt at a grave face. “I'm shocked. I never had such thoughts about any of my classmates.”

She smirked as steam coiled around her. “No one?”

“Not a single soul, and certainly no thoughts about you in the blue silk blouse you'd wear.”

She gave a warm, throaty laugh as she rolled her hips against Jess, helping them align. When she took him in down to his base, she tightened her legs around his waist and locked her pelvis secure against his.

They both took a moment of stillness, to breathe and savor. She was so small and lithe in his hands. She felt weightless, and hungry.

Jess stepped them into the water, and watched as she leaned back, closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of her hair getting soaked. 

They were silent for some time, while he kept still inside her and they explored each other with fingers and tongue near the streaming water.

Eventually, Jess had leaned back against the tile wall. Izumi kept hold of his neck, but loosened the grip of her legs and used them to leverage herself on and off his cock.

Jess enjoyed the feel of her bouncing; the hot slick between her legs ran together with the water pouring down both of them. She held herself up, so he fondled her wet chest with both hands. When her neck came close to his mouth, he grazed his teeth across her wet skin, nipping at the thickest muscle.

Her moans sounded as ravenous as he felt. 

“So,” Jess said. “You can say no…”

Izumi huffed. “Trust me. If we had a bit more time, I'd offer you more than just the one hole. Next time our paths cross.”

The answer made Jess grunt. “Duly noted, and I assure you, there will be follow up to that. But my question was about your distribut-”

“No,” she said, biting his neck.

“Reasonable. I had to ask.”

She pulled him off the wall by squeezing her legs back around his waist.

“And of course nothing involving my cock would have any bearing-”

“Jess Brightwell, anyone who’s ever met you knows you’re not capable of that. Relax.”

“So long as we’re clear.”

Jess pulled her directly under the water and kissed her. Jess’ heart raced with arousal, as both of them momentarily gasped for air around the streams of water and the press of their tongues. He stayed until she finally pulled away.

“But if you want to discuss making Library deals with my employer,” Izumi said, “I'm certain I could get you favorable terms.”

“God, I'd love favorable terms with your employer,” Jess said, squeezing her breast again.

Izumi moaned. 

“Then hang on a minute…” she said.

She shifted, putting more of her weight against the wall. She shivered as her shoulders met the cold tile, and Jess repositioned the showerhead to aim the hot water on her chest. 

Water cascaded between them - and on them - as Jess grabbed her hips tight and pressed into her until she grunted with lust and licked her lips.

“This isnt getting your hair clean,” he said.

“No, but I won’t give a damn about the outcome of the meeting,” Izumi chuckled.

“Well, that does tend to improve negotiations.”

Izumi grinned. “So how often are you available for pre-meeting consultation and strategizing?”

“Hmmm. I think we should discuss the parameters of that deal over more fucking.” 

“I can accede to that, Librarian Brightwell.”

Jess picked up his thrusts.


	17. Smiles (prompt #26)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas has feelings for a co-worker… a LOT of feelings. Jess helps him sort them out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags include grief and angst, specifically sexual angst, and discussion of an Obscurist sex life (so with elements of sexual trauma). 
> 
> Should I tag for not actually having sex in it?

"Go talk to her, Thomas!"

More than anything, Thomas wanted to take Jess' advice. But if Stefania smiled at him one more time, Thomas thought he might faint.

He’d survived their shared work sessions on the new formulations for weeks now, and he did it by focusing on the work. The science. Stefania was a gifted Obscurist, but she also loved chemistry, and she loved the chance to explore it without her Obscurist duties getting in the way. She was brilliant at it, and she'd completely transformed Thomas’ thinking on some of the new materials they were exploring. Some rubber polymers especially were developing in new and exciting ways, because of Stefania and her chance now to work outside the Tower.

And so long as Thomas turned away whenever she absentmindedly drew a graceful hand through her short blond ringlets - they were less gold than his hair, more a cool, stunning silver - if he missed that, he stayed sturdier. 

And though she sometimes got excited about their work, and in that excitement, took one bounce toward him as if they might hug… he stayed away from those too. And tried not to think about how her bouncing made him feel. It made his stomach clench.

It was that last part that was fearful to Thomas. He could understand feeling bashful; he’d felt that way when he was younger around pretty girls. He could understand his worry at making her uncomfortable as she worked. Thomas would never want to intrude on a co-worker’s comfort. But sometimes Thomas felt a terrible, wrenching feeling in his guts when he thought of Stefania. It felt a lot like what bad nights made him feel, or being naked when he’d rather anything else but being naked. 

If this was how he responded to a lovely woman... Thomas feared he’d somehow lost the ability to appreciate beauty in a person.  _ What a terrible thing to lose. _

"Talk to her," Jess said again. “Now!"

They were surrounded by the kind of beauty he could understand, on every wall of the exhibit. Paintings and sculptures of various time periods and nationalities. Thomas had arrived here earlier in the evening, and looked around and felt his heart lighten. 

Now Stefania was there, and he felt… crude. And dirty, despite being in fresh clothes. Jess didn’t seem to understand.

“Ask her what her favorite painting is,” Jess mused. “Or whether she’s eaten tonight. You could get a meal together right now, if she feels like leaving.”

He should want to. Thomas should want to do what Jess suggested. He wanted to be around Stefania all the time. And yet it hurt to do so.

_ Courage _ , he told himself. _ Do as Jess says. Talk to her. _

As Thomas moved himself slowly across the room, he wiped his palms on his pants, and thought his heart might burst out of his chest. Worse than that… he thought he might throw up.

He reached the cluster of people around a marble statue Stefania was examining too.

She saw him, and smiled her wide, dazzling smile.

“Thomas!” Stefania said. She’d changed out of her Obscurist robes and into a soft, thin dress that accentuated her hourglass figure. “Have you seen this piece? It reminds me of the story you told me about the woodsman.”

Thomas nodded, but didn’t take the statue in. He couldn’t. He shouldn’t be this close to her. He felt things, physically, that made him… ill.

Thomas nodded again, and looked at her smile. It was a brilliant, lovely smile. 

But it was fading.

Thomas nodded. And then he turned around and walked away.

He walked out of the room without telling Jess where he was going. He walked out to a carriage, and he took it home.   
  
  
  


He ignored his Codex, and sat in his room and gave the whole situation some thought.

Eventually, he heard Jess arrive home and call his name. He didn’t respond, but Jess was knocking on his door soon enough.

“Thomas,” Jess said carefully. “I’m so sorry I pushed you too hard.”

“Can I ask you a private question?” Thomas asked without preamble.

Jess took only a moment to catch up with him. “Of course,” he soon said. Thomas always liked that about Jess. 

Thomas struggled to open his mouth again, though.  _ Courage, Thomas. Seek an answer. _

“Jess. Did you ever feel… shame… about your feelings for Morgan?”

Thomas' relief at getting the burning question out was quickly gone when he saw the look on Jess' face. Confusion filled Jess’ eyes, then that gave way to horror as Thomas watched him, feeling helpless.

_ Is he horrified that I would feel this myself? Does he pity me then? Well, if it means Jess never felt this way, then I'll welcome it. Please pity me. _

Jess stared at the floor then. “Why would I feel shame about… about that?” 

The tone of Jess’ question was strange. It wasn’t a simple inquiry. It was fragile.

“Sometimes my desire feels wrong,” Thomas said. “I didn’t feel this way before. I could think private sexual thoughts about someone, before, and it didn’t feel… bad. I thought at first that perhaps… my imprisonment… changed something. But…”

Thomas became more certain of his hypothesis as he spoke.

“I think it’s because she’s been an Obscurist,” Thomas said. “She lived in the Tower. She would have endured their rules. Their… program. I worry… that my desire… that it harms her. I want to touch her, and be near her but-”

“But too much has been demanded from her already,” Jess said. “I shouldn’t want more.” 

Thomas nodded, and even as he felt less alone, his heart sank at the bare pain on Jess’ face. Thomas put an arm around his shoulders.

"All the time," Jess said quietly, his jaw tight. “I felt it all the time, Thomas.”

“But you two had a physical relationship.”

Jess gave a sad little laugh. “She made one for us. She realized how stupid I was and resorted to throwing me against things and kissing me until I couldn’t resist.”

Jess was looking at his own memories, not at anything in the room, Thomas could tell. There was joy on his face, and sadness and fear too.

“It always felt wrong to want anything from her,” Jess said, shaking his head. “I don’t know how to change that now.”

_ Jess loved Morgan, more than anything. If he felt his desires were wrong, then the whole premise must be wrong. There must be something wrong in this line of thinking. _

Jess looked up suddenly, his brow furrowed, as though he heard Thomas’ thoughts.

“Thomas. You wanting… you wanting anything, or anyone, that desire has value. After all that’s happened to you, that hunger for another person is a good thing. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a good thing you feel it. It’s something beautiful.”

Thomas listened, and wondered whether to tell Jess he should listen to himself.

“You may be right,” Thomas replied. “I’ll be right back.”

Jess frowned at him.

“I promise I will,” Thomas said. “I have only one brief thing to do, and I’ll be back here. We’ll talk more.”

  
  


Thomas knocked on her door. He felt foolish, and dizzy, and thought he might pass out. But the urge to vomit was lessening. The knot in his stomach was still there, but it felt a bit softer.

When Stephania opened her door, she saw him and smiled broadly. 

She wore a robe over some soft clothes, and as she opened her mouth to speak she leaned toward him, but she also crossed her arms and seemed to shiver. But it was quite warm out. He wasn’t sure how to take that.

“I’m so sorry to intrude so late,” Thomas said.

“That’s quite alright, Scholar Schreiber. Did you have a thought about the polymers?”

“No not about the polymers,” Thomas said. “I would like to get a meal with you, some time that suits you. And talk about things that are not polymers.”

Thomas got a lump in his throat and his stomach lurched… but it was a different kind of lurch than before. Not so deep, and not so cold. This one was warmer.

“Well,” he said, frowning, “we could discuss those too, I don’t want to restrict our topics of conversation-”

“They are fascinating, polymers,” Stefania said. She looked at him with soft, beautiful eyes and she ran her fingers through her curls. “But I agree, we could discuss other things too.”

“Yes,” Thomas said. He felt a smile stretched across his face, and his heart skipped in his chest. “We could.”

“Tomorrow after work?” Stefania said.

“Yes,” Thomas said immediately.

She trembled again. 

“Are you well?” Thomas asked, worried.

“I am well,” Stefania said, though her trembling got stronger. 

She shifted toward him, and all Thomas could think was that he should stay still and not run away. It took every shred of courage he had to do so, but he managed it.

Stefania pressed against him. She was tall enough that her lips were only a bit lower than his. She tilted her head, and then their lips were only a tiny space apart. 

And then her lips were on his and he wondered if he’d ever felt anything so good before… warm and soft, for just a lingering instant.

She pulled away, and her eyes were dancing. Her lips curled wide into another smile, and then she very slowly went back inside and closed the door.

  
  
  


When Thomas got home, Jess told him he was still smiling and showed no sign of stopping.


	18. Distracted Sex (Prompt #27)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess has a night of pleasure with a Scholar who is in possession of an alluring library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags include distracted sex, PIV sex, stranger sex, and age difference.

Panting and grunting on top of her - and now faintly sweating onto her silk sheets - Jess rocked himself into the sort of thrusts that were making her scream the loudest. 

He could have been thinking of her bobbing breasts, her chestnut hair, the spark of cleverness in her eyes, the thrill of sex with someone new. Mostly, though, he wanted another look at the Cicero on the desk nearby.

She was beautiful -- these Scholars always were. She was good at her job, and passionate about books -- people who hired him as a personal book broker always were. The sex was always warm and sensual with these types. It always had him on top, between their legs, lots of caresses and kisses and tender gestures, with a calculated hint of aggression in the passion between them. Nothing too harsh. 

And as always, a lover having a good time underneath him was arousing. 

But Jess could tell, he really should have let himself investigate the other shipment of originals she'd bought herself before they started this. There was a stack on the desk, practically staring back at him, and he was quite certain she’d gotten a Homer translation alongside the Cicero. Jess knew everything she'd initially had in her library - he had to, to plan how best to expand it - but everything currently on the desk was new. Purchased without him. 

Jess needed to know where. He needed to find out how. He might even want to negotiate with her to acquire some of it. 

And as the thought struck him that he might want to deal with her, he realized it may be worthwhile to pay some attention to the sex they were currently having.

He nuzzled against the damp hair clinging to her neck and then kissed her there, adding some unnecessary flexing of the arm across her field of vision. It wasn't a particularly noteworthy arm, truth be told, but the move had been a hit before, with others. Her moaning caress of his arm made him think it might have been appreciated again.

He didn't move the wadded sheet that was quite frankly annoying him. As far as Jess was concerned there was no need for clutter on the mattress during sex. Pillows and blankets got in the way, unless and until you specifically needed them for positioning. But being surrounded in pillows and linens was the romantic way to be, and was inevitably the Scholar's sexual preference.

Jess stopped thinking long enough to notice her screams had quieted to moans, so he pressed his forehead to hers to get her attention, and then repositioned to get deeper. He didn't think she was done yet. These encounters seem to have a very specific window of time, no matter the Scholar -- long enough for her to have two or three orgasms, and then wrapped up before the erotic spell of the evening wore off.

They’d all been older women, these Scholars… around Nic and Chris' age, but with no partners to distract them from their very driven careers. And once Jess was hired by the first Scholar for book brokerage - and once he went above and beyond in his thoroughness at pleasing her - word got around. And the others lined up for his special sort of guidance regarding their personal libraries, with extra flourishes of service added.

To a one, they wanted to be swept off their feet, by someone who offered no competition at work. To a one, they'd wanted to lay back while he led a relatively gentle course of lovemaking. 

And to a one, they had wanted Jess to come inside them.

"Come inside me, Jess, please," the one under him cried, sure enough -  _ dammit, what was her name? _ "Please come inside me!"

Jess wondered why. Did they feel obligated to offer it? Was it a preference they all shared, and if so, why? Did it feel good to them in a way he hadn’t considered before? Or was his own orgasm symbolic of something to them? Further proof of their desirability? A badge of honor to make the most eligible new Library curiosity curl his toes?

Who knew? This wasn't the sort of encounter that welcomed heartfelt conversations, or even that sort of intellectual curiosity. Jess had once felt more genuine connection with a stranger while impersonating an alien than he had on most of these more glamorous Scholarly adventures.

But awkward genuineness wasn't the deal they sought here. A brief romantic tryst between a younger man and a sophisticated woman. An enchanting amorous night for her. Something that beats being alone for him. That was the deal.

“Come inside me, you delectable young man," she purred. 

_ Goddamnit, Jess _ , he thought as he pinned down her hips with his own and let loose the tension that had been building.  _ Ada? Adele? Alexis?  _

He stopped thinking, curled his face into her collarbone, caught the scent of lily and vanilla under fresh sweet sweat, and came inside of her with an undulating moan. Before he was done, he heard her find one last fever-pitch orgasm as well

Soon, they were sprawled in the tangled bedsheets, resting in a post-sex glow.

Jess didn’t realize he was staring at her stack again.

“Isn’t it marvelous?” She stared at him, grinning. “It happened so fast, I didn’t have time to consult you. Sudden find from a friend of a friend.”

She excitedly told a story that no doubt looked very different from the perspective of the seller: a shady vendor working outside their own territory targeted her and her friend, and made them believe it was a good deal. Likely, the vendor had stock they needed to liquidate unexpectedly. The books were good quality originals, at least, and most would be excellent additions to the Scholar’s collection. But Jess could have gotten them for her for less than half the price she paid and still made a profit himself.

Anit could handle the vendor; this town wasn't Jess’ territory. The two of them would discover the distributors involved and handle that as well. 

Jess would let these volumes go. Agatha could keep her books. 

_ Agatha _ !

“Well done, Agatha, good find,” Jess smiled. Scholar Agatha beamed back at his compliment.

Jess gave her one last passionate kiss, then leapt up to find his clothes. She gave a token protest, and then let him dress and leave.

“Thank you, Librarian Brightwell,” she purred at the front door, “for a deeply illuminating and satisfying evening.”

“I hope you enjoy your new library,” Jess grinned, kissing her hand.

“I’m certain I will.”

“Well, then tell all your friends.”


	19. Overstimulation (prompt #28)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess asks for and receives an experience of being completely overwhelmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter include a fucking machine, a bondage hood, an o-ring gag, nipple clamps, overstimulation, body fluids, and predicament bondage.

Jess’ thighs quivered, and his whole body felt hot and numb and stinging all at once.

A penetration machine had relentlessly pounded into his ass for… well, time was meaningless at this point. It was an excruciating pleasure that had been ricocheting up and down his spine forever now, sending him repeatedly into sudden, shuddering climaxes. It was his job to keep himself in proper position for the fucking machine… though with his ankles indirectly strapped to it, he had limited options. But so far he had done his job well, on his knees, bent forward.

The trouble was, this bent forward position was finally wearing out his abdominal muscles, and Jess’ was getting very tired and achy. But he couldn’t use his arms to hold himself up. His hands were tied together, behind his head. He could theoretically swing them down to the ground to rest some weight on his arms. But if he did that, the chain that dropped down from his hands and snaked around his armpits to reach his nipple clamps would first pull taut, and then it would pull the clamps free from his nipples entirely. His nipples were numb right now, but he was well aware that they would not stay numb during that course of action.

The amount of sheer sensation had exhilarated Jess for who knew how long now. The sharpness of the clamps, the compression of the restraints, the ache of the forced position, the full-body drive from the machine, the raw friction inside - it all combined to send him into a blinding whirlwind that mercifully drowned out every other sound in his head, and scrubbed him raw and clean. 

He would probably no longer be upright at all, if it were for the single lingering thread of anticipation.

Katja had insisted on putting a hood over his head. The act of her slipping it on had sent him into a delicious helpless fear, forcing him to use all his mental effort to calm his head and put his welfare in her hands. The leather pressed against his ears and the back of his head in a way that had heightened every sensation he’d felt. But one part of the hood hadn’t been used yet. It had a gag built in - an open ring that was forcing his mouth open.

But nothing had been forced through the ring yet. And Jess expected something eventually would.

Jess idly wondered how much of his saliva was pooling below him, right as he felt that telltale sudden pressure between his legs, and another orgasm arched his aching back and spilled more fluids onto the abused floor beneath him.

_ Arms up, have to keep arms up, have to. Cost too much to let them fall. _

He waited until the inescapable spasms passed, and tried to catch his breath again - a task that was taking longer with each climax.

Jess was just about to attempt a very careful stretch of certain suffering muscles, when a hand touched his chin and lifted up his head. 

Jess nearly cried out with the ache of anticipation, but swallowed the sound at the last minute and took in several quick deep breaths instead. Who knew how long his airway might be restricted?

Sure enough, after his third deep breath, Jess felt something slip through the ring wedged against his teeth. Jess thought he felt the entire center of his being sink wide open in hunger and fear. He then felt the velvet hammer of a rigid flesh cock slip across his tongue and slide down his throat with ease.

There was now inhuman force and searing speed pouring into one end of them, and very real human force moving agonizingly slow into the other end.

Jess thought he might have gone limp. He couldn’t tell, as his sense of his body in space was in tatters. But he couldn’t feel tension in his abs anymore, and was fairly certain he’d lost the ability to hold up his arms. He tried to brace for the impact of the clamps tearing at him - alongside the fucking machine’s constant, unrelenting penetration and the new cock forced down his throat. But the person who wielded the cock seemed to be holding him up by his arms. It was a position that strained his arms in an overstretch, but every other muscle could let go of some of the painful tension. 

With the huge effort of muscle contraction no longer needed, Jess felt boneless, floating, held together only by the two cocks penetrating him. He hung suspended for another immeasurable span of time. Then the sensation turned to numbness, and then to dark.

  
  
  


Jess woke up slowly, his brain still tangled in a strangely pleasant sluggishness. 

There was a weight on him, he thought. Probably a blanket. His head lay on something that could be someone’s leg. 

He opened his eyes. Blinking didn’t make things any clearer, but he waited, and slowly the world unblurred. He looked up, and stared at Katja’s chin… until she felt him stir and looked down.

“Good morning, you lazy oaf,” she said.

Jess nearly giggled at her. He felt slack and giddy. He told his arm to shift underneath him to get him to a sitting position, but it didn’t seem to be responding to his intentions.

“And that’s about how well sitting up is going to go for you, for a while,” Katja said wryly. “Try staying flat on the floor, why don’t you.”

Jess nodded in agreement, got comfortable, and dozed off again.


	20. Degradation (Prompt #30)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With help from friends, Jess pursues darker desires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags include degradation, humiliation, dirty talk, spanking, over the knee spanking, choking, anal sex, surprise sex, stranger sex, being spit on, bondage collar and leash, crying, emotional hurt/comfort, and aftercare.
> 
> **I would like to emphasize - especially since I may be known mostly for fluffier or warmer content - that the character’s intention here is to be degraded, past your typical dirty talk. I can give more specifics if you need them. Please don't read if that will be upsetting for you. <3**

“What the _ hell _, Katja?”

Jess tried to look calm, at least from a distance, but he’d combed his fingers through his hair so hard he nearly pulled some out.

“Jess, you told me to find whoever I thought was suitable-”

“This is damn cold of you,” Jess hissed. “You know exactly who that is.”

Katja's gaze on him sharpened.

“And you,” Katja said, “asked me to build you a humiliating sexual experience. And gave no limits on _ who _should be involved. None, Jess.”

Jess glanced over his shoulder for an instant at Tom Rolleson. Troll, of all people, waiting calmly for Jess to join him for this activity.

“He’s trusted in his play circles,” Katja continued. “And he used to be your commanding officer. Anit says you don’t see him socially-”

“That she knows of.”

“Then say no and walk away,” she said flatly. “I'm uninterested in your whining. You want this scene or you don’t.”

Jess gave up on looking calm to Troll, and scrubbed his face with his hands. Katja was right. He was speaking purely from the dark fears bubbling up as he approached doing this… this idea he'd had for a sexual adventure. This event that he deliberately asked for. And he did indeed ask her to build him a truly humbling time of it. Whatever his reasons - and he had no need to poke at them now, they’d raise their head soon enough - whatever his reasons for the guidance he gave Katja, she had pursued his request skillfully. Doing all this in front of Troll would be even more humiliating than whatever they had cooked up to do. 

She got him exactly what he asked for. Now he had to carry on with the business of wanting it. And doing it.

First step would be walking over to where Troll was. By himself. Katja would stay put, positioned at the doorway to protect the space and observe on Jess’ behalf, as a fairly-trusted friend. The most trusted friend Jess would want witnessing this belittling debauchery.

So, Jess walked over. He made early eye contact with Troll, and gave him the steeliest look he could manage.

“Brightwell.” He nodded at Jess.

Jess nodded back. “Rolleson.”

“Expecting someone else for this party?”

“You’ll do,” Jess said curtly.

Troll smiled smugly. “Right. Do you want to amend your list of what's off limits? Its… decidedly short, as it is.”

Jess frowned and shook his head. “Keep it, it's fine.”

“Do you want to use a ceasecode?” Troll asked.

Jess remembered the thrill from either side of that pull for power, that exhilaration of transgression. He shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

“What code do you prefer?” Troll said, businesslike.

“I don't have a regular one yet,” Jess replied.

Katja called out from the doorway. “The Pit uses ‘halt’ as the default.”

Jess laughed out loud - the sound was thin and bitter when it reached his ears - and spoke before looking at Troll’s face.

“That's a good one,” Jess said. “I'll use that.”

“Are you sure, Jess?” Troll said.

“Positive,” Jess said, digging down to sound like he meant it. His irritability aside, he actually did mean it.

Troll looked only partly convinced. “Then say it,” he said.

“Hault,” Jess said, staring into Troll’s eyes as calmly as he could.

Troll examined him as he said it. He must have been satisfied by what he found because he nodded.

“Then drop your pants,” he said without preamble. “Just down to here.” He used the edge of his hand to tap Jess' thigh. “No further."

Troll had used the more relaxed of his command voices, and the hair on the back of Jess’ neck pricked up. He could feel his control over the situation bleeding away, and his heart raced in panic at the thought.

But Jess would cooperate. That’s what he came here to do, for the most part. The fight wasn’t the allure, not this time. He came to lose, and lose hard.

He unfastened his trousers and pulled them down only as far as he was supposed to and held them there. His ass was bared - as were his genitals - with his trousers in an awkward, in-between state. It did emphasize the indignity of baring himself, Jess had to admit. He did not feel sexy like this.

Troll responded by sitting down in the center seat of a long couch close by.

“Now put your stomach across my knees,” Troll quietly ordered.

Jess blinked in shock.

Troll’s eyebrows registered Jess’ pause.

“I don’t know what you thought you were signing up for,” Troll said, his tone getting harder by the word, “but this is what happens next. Put your stomach on my knees.”

“This is ridiculous,” Jess said without thinking.

“I will say this once,” Troll said, and Jess honestly felt himself shiver. “You want to end the scene, end it. Otherwise, you're going to lay across my lap. I don't care which you pick. But you'll pick now.”

Jess didn’t know what he expected either, but this wasn’t it. What could Troll do to force him? Would this turn into a wrestling match? Jess decided it was worth the risk to find out, so as quick as he could, he pulled his pants back up.

Or he tried to. Before he could get them back in place, giant hands reached from behind to stop him.

Troll hadn't moved a muscle. But now, Jess realized, club-enforcer Tiny was right behind him, keeping his ass uncovered. And now Tiny had wrenched Jess’ hands away from the fabric and held both arms in a lock Jess couldn’t imagine breaking.

For an instant, in his head, Jess screamed his ceasecode. Nothing of any import had happened at all, but somehow Jess had already lost something that was terrifying to be without. 

But he kept the word from spilling out. _ Not yet, this isn’t it, keep going. _

Tiny tugged Jess over to Troll's lap and laid him across it. Then he repositioned one giant hand on the back of Jess’ neck. Jess got the distinct impression that Tiny could make one small gesture and snap Jess’ spine.

Jess realized then that his arms were free, and he had flung them down to Troll’s legs to brace himself.

“Do we need to bind you to keep you here?” Troll asked calmly.

“No, you don’t,” Jess gasped. “Let go, I'll keep the position.”

After a pause - probably Troll giving Tiny a sign - Tiny’s hand let go. Jess was breathing far too heavily for his own taste. _ So you’re bent over his knee, pants down. What difference does it make? _

“It's not that bad,” Jess said, as nonchalantly as he could manage, bare ass up in the air. “I was curious what would happen is all.”

But Jess knew that voice was lying. It was a good voice, it had kept him alive. But it was lying, and this situation was already flushing his cheeks with hot embarrassment. He felt like a helpless child. _Across_ _Troll's lap_, _for God’s sake._ He’d wanted Troll’s respect and he’d never have it now.

“You get one chance at disobedience,” Troll said offhandedly. “So consider that a warning. The consequences won’t be so alluring again. I’m really not fond of brats.”

Before Jess could fully process the statement, a blow landed across his ass.

The pain wasn’t that great on the first blow, nor on the two that shortly followed. There was a sting… there was most assuredly a growing sting… but Troll’s bare hand against his backside wasn’t anywhere near the worst pain he’d had. _ It should be easy. It should be simple. _

It was not easy or simple. Jess’ stomach tightened, his gut twisting with every blow. He was staring at the ground while a prominent High Garda acquaintance was spanking him like a child.

Jess kept quiet, despite the steady increase of the physical pain as blows continued unabated, until several sharp streaks tore across his raw skin and Jess couldn’t conceal his yelp. Troll had raked nails across Jess’ ass.

“Pathetic,” Troll said, his voice warping into disdain. “Reduced to this. Big pink handprints on your ass. Just a disorderly little child in need of a spanking.”

He resumed the blows that were somehow getting more and more excruciatingly intense. _ This shouldn’t hurt, I’m not a child. _

“Pretensions dropped. Intellect forgotten. All you needed was someone firm enough to do this to you, didn’t you? Someone to put you in your place? You want to be demeaned.”

Jess willed his arms to stay braced on Troll’s legs. If he let go of Troll, he’d put his hands on his behind like a baby trying to stop a beating, which he would _ not _ do today.

“You just needed a spanking. You needed somebody to leave your backside raw."

Troll's voice echoed strangely in Jess' head, as the pain seared and made his eyes water.

“Say it, Jess Brightwell.” Jess’ name had never sounded so cold in someone’s mouth. “Say you're a child and you just needed a spanking.”

Jess hissed a wordless reply through his teeth as Troll kept hitting… now in the same place, over and over again.

“This won’t stop until you say it.” Troll went faster, unmoving from that one fleshy spot. 

_ This shouldn't hurt this much. _

“Say 'I’m a small child and I needed a spanking.' Do it.”

“I’m…” Jess let out a frustrated grunt as the blows still continued. “I needed a spanking,” he said, just above a mumble.

Troll paused. If Jess had looked, he thought he might see Troll’s hand hovering while he decided whether to continue.

“I… I needed a spanking,” Jess said louder. His face felt as hot and red as his painful ass must be. He shuddered, once, and prayed Troll would accept it. And he waited.

When Troll’s hand landed softly on his ass, Jess nearly jumped out of his skin.

“You’re a beginner,” Troll said, “so we’ll grade you on a curve.”

Then with one swift shove, Jess had been thrown off Troll's lap and onto the floor, where he groaned with the impact.

“Stay down.”

Jess had absorbed Troll’s words just as his brain sent impulses to his limbs to start to scramble up. He stopped where he was, and slowly lowered himself back down to the floor.

“Take your shirt off,” Troll said. “Without getting up.”

Jess felt he was slipping down a dark hole in his head, and flailed against the feeling. He flashed Troll a defiant look, even as he reached for his shirt.

Troll crouched down next to him, gripped Jess’ hair and pressed his cheek to the floor.

“You will not look me in the eye again,” Troll said coolly. “You don’t deserve it.”

A deep, grimy cold settled into Jess’ gut, and he could feel his bare erection pressing painfully against the hard, chilly floor. He kept his eyes averted.

Jess fumbled with his shirt buttons more than he thought he should, but got it off anyway. As he balled it in his hands and tossed it aside, he felt hands grab at the bottom of his trousers and yank them off. His legs had flopped in an ungainly way as the trousers left him, adding to the list of indignities.

He didn’t know who had pulled them off, but he thought maybe there was someone else in the room now, besides Troll and Tiny. Katja’s relative warmth was only a dim memory on the edge of Jess’ awareness.

There was force against him, and Jess grunted.

_ Yes. Someone else is here now. I don’t recognize this body flattened against me. _

Someone was on top of Jess, inserting their legs between his and - equally alarmingly - wrapping a burly arm around his throat.

Not Tiny. Leaner. But not Troll either. Much more muscular.

It took all of Jess’ efforts not to panic at the arm squeezing around his neck on either side. Spots were flashing across his vision

_ Are they trying to… shit, where’s Katja- _

Just then, the pressure eased. The spots cleared.

And then the pressure started again.

Jess tried to inhale, and discovered he could breathe fairly well. No pressure on his windpipe.

_ Carotids. Oh, good, they’re only fucking with my bloodflow, _ he thought, as the spots returned to his vision, making him dizzy.

The pressure released again, and the arm stayed relatively loose, by comparison. Though Jess wasn’t going anywhere, as the person on top of him pressed against his sphincter, and then slipped a greased cock inside.

A groan of shock left Jess' lips, as the stretching feeling of penetration caught up to his awareness.

“Look how fucking easy that was,” Troll said from nearby. “What a filthy pervert you are. I’ll bet you’re hard as a rock, getting fucked by a stranger on a dirty floor.”

The cock started sliding in and out, and Jess' eyes watered again. He didn't even try to put his hands on the arm across his neck. He didn't have any impulse to fight back. Jess lay frozen, sprawled on the floor, defeated. The ceasecode fluttered through his head like a stray leaf, and then scuttered away from him. There was only him on the ground, mortified at what he was doing. 

“Look at you," Troll said, reading his mind. "Left on the floor like garbage."

Troll was right above Jess’s head, and Jess heard a sound that pricked at his pride, though how there was any left to prick, he had no idea. A split second later something wet hit his face, and spittle dripped from his temple down into his eye and cheek.

"Just a piece of filth. Too stupid to do anything right. Needs to be chastened like a dumb animal."

The fucking got faster, and harder, and Jess could feel the thrusts up to his head. He wasn't sure where his body ended and the floor began, as he felt more and more… spilled. Undone.

“Nothing but an animal,” Troll said in his ear. “A stray dog.”

Jess felt Troll’s sudden absence, as the person on top of Jess kept drilling into him. Jess didn’t quite comprehend what was going on as the fucking slowed… and he felt bent upward, the arm dropped a few inches away from his neck. Jess only halfway processed that the nearby footsteps were Troll’s. 

Jess didn’t begin to understand until he felt Troll’s fingers around his neck, along with something else, and heard Troll’s voice.

“Nothing but…”

A collar closed around Jess’ neck.

“... an animal.”

The arm closed around Jess’ neck again, and the cock in his ass resumed a slow, relentless, deep fucking. Only now, there was a pull, a tug, as Troll held the other end of a leash in his hand. A leash attached to Jess’ neck.

Jess wasn’t sure he could breathe anymore. He tried, he tried hard. But something was preventing him from taking a deep breath.

_ Is it the arm? The collar? Is this the end? My lungs never healed, they’re just giving out. _

Then Troll spoke, and every word seemed destined to reach his ears, to sit clearly in his head.

“You needed somebody to truly see how shameful you are. That’s all.”

Jess felt something crack in half inside of him and disgorge itself, out into sludge and bile.

“Yes,” Jess whispered.

“Yes, you’re shameful?” There was a tug on the leash.

“Yes!”

“There’s a filthy boy.” Troll stroked his head. “You’re so good at being treated like shit. You know that’s all you deserve, isn’t it?

Hot, bitter tears smeared across Jess’ face.

"I’m sorry," Jess heard himself say.

"Say it again."

"I'm sorry!" Jess shuddered. He pressed against the floor, only to lift himself up to make room for the racking sobs now coming.

"I'm so sorry," Jess said again. 

It was the only thing on his lips, the only thing in his head. It was the only thing he could think at all.

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I’m so sorry."

The pressure on Jess’ neck and back was all gone. He was floating in nothingness, and he couldn’t stop crying.

Jess wept, his stomach roiling like he was expunging more poison. The sobs felt as though he was vomiting something out of himself.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

He lost all awareness of who was around him.

"I'm so sorry!"

Jess wept, and alongside the tears spilling out, he felt a sharp stab in his back come into focus. He felt his palms grow fiery hot. He felt a blistering heat all over, and a scent he loathed. And it all washed over him, and then it poured out onto the ground.

And then it was gone. He was empty.

Jess took one long, steadying breath. And then another.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

“I know," said a calm voice above him. "Jess, I know.”

There was a hand in his hair. And a new weight on his back… wrapped around his whole body. He somehow came to a sitting position. And more tears bubbled up again. 

And Jess cried and cried, until the sobs finally stopped of their own accord. 

This time, he felt calm.

And then he was back in the room where he’d been. Whoever else had been here was gone. Troll was right next to him, with his hand on Jess’ shoulder. Katja was crouched unobtrusively a few feet away.

“Drink,” Troll said to him, a soft warm smile on his face as he handed Jess a canteen.

Jess couldn’t fathom what to do with a soft, warm smile from Troll at the moment, but he took the canteen and drank cool water out of it.

“How are you feeling?” Troll asked. 

Jess blinked at him. 

“Anything feel sore or painful?” Troll said patiently.

Jess scanned himself, and felt nothing concerning, except for one pain. He leaned over to find the ache visually, and as he noticed the pillow under his ass, he remembered the beating it had taken.

He turned from the pillow to look at Troll blankly.

Troll nodded. “Okay, I have a theory why that surface might be sore," he said. "Anything else? Internally? Your neck? Head?”

Jess checked again, and then shook his head.

“Good,” Troll said. “Drink some more water.”

Jess took another drink and realized Troll was stroking him across his upper back. Jess noticed that he didn’t mind. The hand felt like a tether that was bringing him back into his own body.

“You were a tiny bit ridiculously good at this sort of thing,” Troll said, relaxing his posture just a bit from the watchful attention he’d been giving Jess. Troll glanced back to Katja as he spoke. “Is this really your first time doing this sort of scene?”

Jess nodded.

“Impressive," Troll said. "You’re a natural at being disgraced.”

Jess didn’t understand. But he'd take the compliment. He took another sip from the canteen, then held it up like he was toasting.

“Spanking usually starts me down the proper path too,” Troll said. “When I’m in this kind of mood.”

It took Jess a few moments to absorb Troll’s meaning, and then he got it. His head felt clearer as he found Troll’s gaze and searched it.

Troll nodded at Jess. “Work hard, play hard,” he said, with a smile that carried a wildness behind it. Something flashed across his face that felt so familiar to Jess. Then Jess remembered. Troll had that same darkness in his eyes when he came to see Jess and ask questions, right after Philadelphia.

_ I’m not the only one that seeks this out. I’m not alone in this. _

Jess looked at him again, nodded, and offered his hand. Troll flashed a genuine grin and took it for a firm, friendly shake.

“With you this sturdy,” Troll said, “I’m going to hand you off to someone who knows this part of you a bit better. But I’m going to be back to check on you again. Is that okay?”

Jess wasn’t ready to talk yet. But he understood. They’d find a new equilibrium between them.

Jess nodded to him.

“Take care of yourself, Brightwell. I like you.” Troll clapped him once on the back, and got up. “Though if you tell anyone I said that, I'll deny it.”

He moved away, and Katja came close. She had an assessing eye she cast up, down and through him.

Jess let himself be seen.

When she finally spoke, she said, "It's a good release, something like this."

Jess took a breath and nodded gently. He felt a pleasant, intoxicated sort of dizziness.

Katja's face softened. "You might feel pretty weightless right now," she said. "It's a welcome rest, I expect."

She ran some very gentle fingers from his temple, through his hair, to the nape of his neck.

"The next time the weight falls," Katja said, her tone swerving into a gentle command, "talk to someone you trust."

She stroked his head again, and he met her gaze. 

"Do _that_ to lift the weight, Jess, at least as often as you pursue this sort of thing."

"The weight," he said hoarsely. "You mean from losing Brendan." 

"I mean the weight of everything you're carrying," Katja replied. She pulled her hand away, and nearly wrapped her arms around herself. Jess got the distinct impression it was because she was about to say something personal, and wanted to somehow protect herself while she did it.

"The easy sex, the difficult sex, the games," Katja said, "the strangers, the different ways to play. I know it's fun. It's truly enjoyable. And it buys you some time, too. But it only keeps those nightmares away for so long, until it stops working. And you have to find something else."

As high as Jess was, he could see the truth she was speaking like a landscape far below him.

She put her fingers back in his hair. "Please take care of yourself when you go looking for the something else, Brightwell. The world could use you. I'd really rather you didn't follow Brendan… or whoever else it is that you've lost that you don't talk about."

He heard her, and marked her, from far away. It was a classroom lecture on important content that he wouldn't be tested on just yet. He left it for later. 

Jess took another sip of water, and he enjoyed Katja's hand in his hair.


End file.
